accidental | l.r.h

x

I woke up to my dad nudging me in the shoulder. My eyes slowly open and I see his scruffy face looking at my confusedly.

"What are you doing sleeping on the floor?" His rough voice rings through my ears.

I stumble to my feet and rub my eyes. "It's a... long story."

"Well you should probably get ready for school."

The sentence shoots me awake. "What time is it?!"

"It's 6:30..."

I sigh in relief. Just in time.

I run up to the bathroom and lock the door. I stare at myself in the mirror. Tear stained cheeks, bloodshot eyes, messy hair, and a pale face.

I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. Like I am going to throw up any minute. All of the sudden I'm in front of the toilet, puking all the food I've eaten lately. And then I know for sure that I am not going to school today. I cannot go emotionally or physically. I might break down if I see Luke.

After I take a shower, cleaning myself up a but from all the mess that happened yesterday, I text Alexis and tell her that I got sick and can't come to school.

When I am lying in bed, I recall everything that has happened the past few weeks. I realize that Luke actually felt wanted for once and that I ruined it. I was the reason I made him the happiest but now I'm the reason that makes him the saddest.

I absolutely hate myself for it. But I do not hate myself for saving him from himself. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't be here today.

But the thought makes me jump out of bed. He took his gun after he left me. At any moment or past moment he could be dead.

I throw on my hoodie and converse, not even caring what I look like and I shoot out the door.

"School doesn't start yet!" My dad yells when I run out the door.

First stop, the park.

I run as fast as my feet can take me. I feel like the sidewalk is slowing me down. I need to get there faster.

When I finally arrive, I don't see him. He's not there leaning against the tree with the cigarette against his lips. The park feels... empty now.

I lean against the tree where he would be and I feel dizzy at the thought that I can't save him this time. I begin to wonder how it would feel if I went to the dance with him. His hands around my waist with our bodies pressed together as the rhythm of the music takes over our movements. Getting lost in those eyes that were once alive at the sight of me.

I know that I love him. I would be in public without hiding from the stares and whispers. And maybe, just maybe, if I got to show everyone who he really is, he wouldn't have to deal with this negativity any longer. Luke Hemmings isn't crazy. But you know who is? I am. I am crazy... for him.

As I was thinking these thoughts, I suddenly remember one place that he could be...

His mom's burned down house.

I run down the street and to the abandoned gravel roads. I run and run as if someone was chasing me. As if my heart will stop beating if I don't make it there. All I hear is the gravel crunching under my feet and all I feel is the whistling of the trees in the wind. I reach closer and closer to the house that is my last hope. And when I arrive, I see him standing on top of the last standing wall. He is not facing my way, so he doesn't know that I am here. My heart is tripping and I am overwhelmed that I made it just on time again, as if love will always show you the way. As if his heart and my heart will never be apart.

I see multiple guns on the ground from where he is as if he didn't know which to chose from. He stands with the gun in his hands and from what I can tell, he is looking at the remains of the house as if he is remember all the flashbacks from when he was a child. Hating himself that much more.

I silently, very silently, snatch a gun from on that ground and take a step back. My fingers numb and my hands tremble. As he begins to lift the gun to his head, I do the same, but I cock it to get his attention.

He whips around in astonishment as he lays his eyes on me. His eyes are wider than the moon, and my eyes filling with tears of worry.

"You shoot, I shoot." I say with the loaded gun to my head.

"Cassidy... don't. You deserve life." He says as his hands begin to shake as well.

"So do you, Luke!" I yell. "There is never a moment in your life that made you not deserve this life!" I shake my head and look at the area from where he kissed me. I remember how I felt. "I need you." I whisper, just loud enough.

"You don't need me." He objects in a quiet, low voice.

"Yes I do. And you need me." I say and press the gun right onto my head, to know that I am serious. I hold my breath. I, too, am terrified.

Terrified that he will shoot, terrified that I will shoot, and terrified that I will lose him..

He slowly takes the gun from his head and I eye him carefully so that he doesn't trick me. He throws it on the ground right before he hops off the wall.

I drop the gun and dart towards him, hugging him, squeezing him. Hugging my world that could have slipped away at any second of today.

"Luke, please never leave me like that. Please.." I cry. "Please never leav-"

I feel his arms lifting me off the ground and I wrap my legs around his waist as his lips land on mine, right where we were the last time. Happy tears fall from my eyes and I hug him as tight as I can.

He soon sets me down and looks right into my eyes. "Why?"

"Why what?" I breath, emotions flooding over my mind and taking over my speech.

"Why did you save me?" He questions.

"Luke... I..." I bite my lip, not knowing if I should say it. "I love you."

When the words left me mouth, his eyes softened and his blue eyes had their sparkle back. He looked at me as if he is seeing a new color. He looked at me as I had just made up a new word. He looked at me as if... no has told him that before.

"I love you, Cassidy." He says quietly.

"I love you Cassidy!" He yells even louder.

My cheeks flush pale and I can't help but smile. "Why did you say it again?"

He smiles. "Because I want to make sure every leaf on the trees know, I want the wind to carry it everywhere it goes. I want the world to know." He says while taking my waist and presses it to his body.

My body trembles at his words as his lips trace my neck.

And in that moment I knew I had found Luke Hemming's again.

"Now let me ask you this again." I say, taking my fingers under his chin and bringing his eyes to mine. "Will you make me the happiest girl in the world, and go to the dance with me?"