Chapter 1

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January 2004

Jack

I just helped him carry his own dead body out of the SGC, bury it in the ground, and now he's here begging us to go back. For what? Even if we could send him back I'm not sure I wanted to. The whole point from what he explained to me, was that this was his life now. He had lived this, and he came back to relive it. To warn us.

I didn't know who this woman was that he claimed we had met, these memories, this life. I looked over at Carter, at Sam, my Sam and thought of how desperate I would be to get back to her. Sam was real though, she was here and an intricate part of this existence. This woman he was talking about, no one knew her. There were no records of her here. Admittedly Daniel had lost his wife to this job, and now this second chance at love. I was empathetic, but I didn't know how to help him without jeopardizing everything we have worked for.

Daniel

My knees ached, the frozen polished concrete under them, digginging into cartilage that screamed at me to get up. But, I couldn't move. I clutched onto the little post it note, worn and weathered from every time I had placed it in my front pocket, after every time I ran my hand over my chest to bring a small reminder with me of what was waiting back home.

The gate started churning, metal clanking and groaning against itself and I heard Walter call out, "off world activation." I couldn't bring myself to move. I felt Teal'c tug me off the floor from my collar and we stepped aside in time to see a team of four walk out from the gate and snap shut behind them.

"The area is secured sir," I saw Lorne standing there with two men I didn't recognize, and one I did. One that I had to restrain myself from running across the gate room and murdering with my own hands.

"Good work, before you head home I'll walk you over to the medical bay." Jack gave an awkward glance to me in reassurance. He could feel the vengeance in my glare, the steady stream of pure hatred that radiated off of me in a pointed beam toward Sgt. Carlson.

"We weren't hit in the blast sir," the man that had called her a friend, who put her in a position to defend her life, spoke and she was gone. He made eye contact with me and my body flinched as Teal'c grip on my shoulder tightened as a reminder that he was there, and as my friend, my brother, he would restrain me. The fog clouding my mind settled and I remembered once more it wasn't necessarily even Carlson's fault. He didn't ask to be Goa'uld when it happened, he was a victim too. I looked away as the man's eyes widened in confusion at me.

"It's a new protocol, something has come up and we're putting in preventative measures." Jack motioned the team to pass with him out the gate room. 

Lorne looked me over as he passed and gave a small smile, "glad to see you're okay Dr. Jackson, you were looking worse for wear out there."

"Thanks," was my only response. The only thing that could come out.

"I don't think he should be alone tonight," I heard Sam mutter in Teal'c direction. I knew she was trying to be kind, that she was trying to be compassionate and understanding but I was here, I was flesh and blood and bone and alive.

"I can speak for myself." I responded and shrugged off Teal'c's hand as I watched Jack and the SG team walk out. "I'm not leaving my office, at least not until I can have some answers." They didn't speak, instead they shared a look and their eyes both followed me out the door.

Every cell in my body was vibrating with exhaustion, with confusion, rage and agony in the crushing grief that was pounding into me. My tunnel vision leading me to space her office once was, like a zombie passing through the domed hallways and boots of people starting their shifts scuffling past me. I opened the door once more, seeing the metal wire shelves holding cluttered junk. Boxes of spare gear and cleaning supplies cluttered spaces where she had her desk, her files and her pictures. My chest started heaving with each shaky breath, I grabbed a plastic bin holding spools of chording and threw it against the wall feeling the rush of frustration in me build. I allowed in that moment for the wall to fall, to crumble down and let my anger and hurt out. There was no way that I was going to find a path back to her in this haze of confusion. I picked up another crate of dust covered patches and stared down at it in disbelief. This shouldn't be here. This didn't belong here. This was where her stack of finished paperback novels she read during lunch should have been. Where her copper bell would rest that I could hear from across the hall when someone needed her. When I needed her. I needed her. When my exhaustion finally got the better of me I slumped down into a pile on the floor, and put my head in my hands rubbing the palms into my forehead to massage out the migraine that was forming.

"Your little temper tantrum over?" I heard Jack in the doorway.

"What do you want?" I groaned out looking back up at him. His shoulder slumped against the frame of the door.

"I want to know that you, new, old Daniel can be trusted to get yourself together." He sniffed and looked around the room I had demolished. The boxes I had thrown, the random odds and ends that had scattered all over the floor.

"I'll figure it out Jack. I don't know how, but I'll figure it out." I took in a deep breath and turned back to the mess. "I'll get this all sorted in the morning."

"Don't worry about it, no one comes in here anyway." He shrugged and went to walk down the hallway. It was true though, no one came in here anymore and a sharp twisting blade carved into my heart with the understanding of that one statement.

Eleanor

I saw Daniel walk through the gate and I whispered one more I love you, in his direction as the last step went through the wormhole. I blinked. Breathing, I was still breathing. This should all be gone. My timeline was done, he would have reversed it. I wouldn't be here. I mean I would be with him, in my office, with no memory of this. The wormhole was gone, snapped shut. There was silence all around me, I turned and saw Sam, her body still as if it were frozen in time. I looked around and saw everyone there in the gate room, watching Daniel walk out, but they were statues of themselves.

"So uh, prank on the girl who's never seen someone step through the gate and correct time right?" My voice was shaky as I walked over to Jack. His grim expression still plastered on his face. "You guys can stop the joke. It's not funny." My voice was barely audible as I reached a hand out to touch his jacket, but as I did I recoiled seeing his body start to dematerialize. I was beginning to see the Stargate from behind him, his body becoming more translucent with every second that passed. My head whipped around and I gasped as I noticed that everyone in the gate room was just as transparent. I began flailing my hands in front of my face, they were solid flesh and bone and whatever it was that I was made up of. My breathing became erratic as I looked around and saw my friends, my coworkers all disappear before my eyes. I took off running out of the gate room, down the halls, and shouted for anyone to hear me calling out for help but there was no one. No call and response, no answer, not a soul. I pressed the elevator button at the end of the hall, nothing.

I'm going to have to climb the stairs, all the stairs. I looked over at the looking emergency stairwell and began my ascent into the upper levels searching room by room for anyone, but there was nothing. Papers scattered on desks, half drank mugs of coffee, yet not a single life form. I was alone, again, except this time I had Daniel's promise that we would find each other ringing in my head.

How? How would he find me when no one was here? Why was I here alone? My head was swirling as I ended up in General Hammond's office.

Stop, you're going to have a panic attack. I reassured myself. Look at your environment. What do you see? I saw Hammond's desk, I saw the red puckered leather chair, the one Daniel always said he was so surprised at how comfortable it was. I saw an open package of peanut butter crackers. I reached for one of the crisped circles and took a bite, as much as my appetite was non existent I needed something to taste to ground myself. Okay, next, salty and smooth. Nutty and creamy. I swallowed the dry mush that had formed in my throat and continued. What do I hear? Nothing. Not the whirring of the air conditioner, not the sound of the gate, not even a computer buzzing. I snapped close to my ear and heard the echoing bounce against my eardrum. That's covered, I feel, I reached down to run my hand over the lacquered desk and the smooth glossy texture slid under my fingertips. I grabbed my shirt and took in a whiff catching the heady smell of Daniel still residing against the fibers.

"He will come get me, easy enough. I just need to wait it out here." I reassured myself out loud just to hear something again. I grabbed a slip of paper and a marker from General Hammond's drawer and began writing.

Eleanor is in the SGC, if she's not in the gate room make a noise.

I took the paper and some tape and walked back down the gate room and pulled a chair in front of the gate taping the note to the back of the chair so it looked obvious to whoever came through the gate. There was no way of knowing when he would jump through for me, and chances are I'd need some rest, at some point. Maybe. I wasn't sure exactly how this worked. The only thing I was sure of was that I wouldn't leave the SGC unless absolutely necessary. I wouldn't risk missing him when he came, if he came.

No, he'll come. I thought to myself and said it aloud once more if only to convince myself. "He'll come."

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