Events on the Horizon: A Stargate Sequel

Chapter 11

Eleanor

The nights were difficult for me to sleep through. Dr. Fraiser had given me a sleep aid knowing the transition would be difficult. Hearing every little noise through the night kept my mind racing, and Daniel's snoring was both a blessing and a curse. I often just laid there looking up at the ceiling wondering what the next day would entail. How I could work up the nerve to talk to anyone who I knew before, seeing the questioning in their eyes of who I was. Daniel had explained to me how he dealt with the opposite issue after his ascension. He came back with no memories of anything or anyone, and everyone here knew him. It felt as if he was treated like a crystal vase that could tip and break at any moment, but he wanted to know the truth, to know everything about himself and his life. When his memories finally did come back it was a relief, but the people here wouldn't have that with me.

"What they do have though," he had said with a cheesy smile and a glimmer in his eyes as I propped my head on his chest, "is the joy of being able to meet you for the first time again."

I felt like that crystal vase though. Everyone skating around the queries their eyes gave away when speaking to me, the questions itching to claw past their lips, or quick glances before passing me in the mess hall while I just sat and read a book Janet had loaned me to pass the time.

"This one is particularly good if you're a romantic," she had grinned and slipped it to me after I inquired about any good novels she could recommend.

Even Daniel in moments was being overly gentle with me. We had kissed since returning, multiple times and it almost led to something but it often fizzled away on my end. As long as I had spent yearning for his desires, the multiple nights I found exploring my body and imagined it was his mouth on me while alone had built up the pyre for him heating my blood. I would catch myself looking down at his hands while he was doing menial tasks like eating or writing and remembered the dexterity of them.  The way he could make my body writhe beneath his, and how every moment of satisfaction I felt seemed to please him more than me. Memories of how in tune with my own wants he was, every beckoning touch and caress that fell on me and set my senses ablaze was interrupted by an off world activation alarm or the jolting realization of where I was.

"I'm sorry," I panted in his ear after my head snapped in the direction of the door when I heard a neighbor slam their door down the hall. His understanding look was a knife to the gut.

"For what? I'm enjoying myself, enjoying you." He flashed a toothy smile back and pulled me in for a night of basking in the ease of just being us and nothing more. Though the fires had tamped down, his arms pulling me into an affection embrace was enough.

The first time I stepped foot into the outside world again, General Hammond had agreed that he trusted me enough to be able to get clothes and basic hygienic needs with a chaperone. Sam had volunteered to take me to the local mall that morning while Daniel was in meetings. The moment I stepped foot outside the doors into the open world again I felt my stomach fall to the floor, and she looked over at me for my reaction.

"I'm sorry I um, I might need a moment." I had whispered.

"You don't need to keep apologizing every time something feels weird to you, I get it." She responded, "the stuff we've seen, or haven't, we understand."

"I haven't seen the sun in months. I haven't seen the moon in..." I bit down on my lip to keep the tears at bay. That's all I was doing these days, apologizing or crying, and if I was crying I was apologizing for doing that. A flock of birds flew across the sky and I gasped. I knew what birds were, I had seen birds before, but you never realize how long it has been since seeing any wildlife. The memory I had of the outside world was bare and dead. Here it was the middle of summer, and trees were lush, cars drove by, and the sun was beating down on me. "This must be what toddlers feel like when they leave the house every day." A small laugh escaped me. "They know what the world is, but it still feels new every time."