Come Back to Gusu

27. Wei WuXian interrupts: I don't have excessivenesses

He sat in his own room, eating a meatless soup and trying not to whine about it, while Jiang YanLi sorted through his clothes. "You need something that says 'powerful cultivator' while at the same time says 'not healthy enough to be challenged to a duel'," she muttered. "Why are your robes all practical? Don't you have anything... just for looking pretty?"

Wei WuXian swallowed his current mouthful. "I'm the head disciple of a sect. I'm supposed to be practical, not just pretty. What about those gauzy ones I wore to your pre-wedding banquet? Those sleeves are definitely not practical."

"Yes!" She brightened. "That's perfect. You looked very handsome in them, XianXian. They got you three marriage offers that night. I was expecting more, honestly.... Three is practically insulting given how handsome you looked."

"What?" He choked on his next mouthful.

"Don't worry. A'Cheng read through the offers and declined them all on your behalf. Not to say the offers weren't good, because they were. For the sect, they were very good. It's just that the women were not a good fit for you. You need a partner who is strong enough to stand up to your excessiveness."

"I don't have excessivenesses," he grumbled.

"And..." Jiang YanLi pulled out the gauzy sleeved outfit, "And you need someone who adores you, of course. And be willing to be a parent to all the strays you're going to collect."

"Strays?"

"Yes." She mock frowned at him. "Did you think you could hide that you coerced Wen Yuan into being enamored with you from us? His first sentence each morning is a request to visit XianGege. He asks, constantly, why am I to be called LiAyi if we're about the same age and you are to be called XianGege. Why aren't I LiJiejie or you XianShushu?"

Wei WuXian giggled. "All I did was play with a butterfly with him." He put on his most innocent face. "Why are you LiAyi? You're not old enough to be an Ayi."

"I'm a mother. So I'm Ayi. You're only three; he should call you Didi," she retorted. "Wear this tonight. A'Cheng says to stay silent as much as possible. Try to look like someone recovering. Lan WangJi has been instructed to Silence you if necessary." She sighed and fiddled with one of the sleeves. "A'Xuan says he and his mother have a plan to deal with Jin GuangShan once and for all. They won't tell me what they're planning.... It worries me."

"You discussing my marriage worries me," he retorted. "Can't I just marry someone I like without," he fluttered his chopsticks holding hand around, "all that arranged marriage, political mess?"

"All marriages are political, A'Xian," Jiang Yanli smiled sadly. "Unless you have no family, no obligations to the people around you.... Even the fishmonger's marriage is political. He needs a wife who understands how he makes a living. A wife whose family repairs boats is probably a better match than the daughter of a candy maker. I have my eyes on several candidates who would be good for you as well as YunmengJiang. Hopefully, you will like one of them."

"Hopefully no one loses a hand tonight!" He quipped with an idiotic grin, trying to escape more talks of matrimony.

"Not funny," she snorted. "I will see you in a sichen, XianXian. Remember: speak as little as possible."

He snorted himself as she let herself out of the room. "Speak as little as possible? Impossible. What else is a mouth good for except for talking?" Despite being alone, he colored thinking of what else his mouth had been doing earlier that day.

Mouths, as it turned out, were quite good for things other than talking. Lan Zhan's mouth was really, extremely good at things other than talking. Which made him start to wonder.... If Lan Zhan's mouth felt that good on his face, mouth, hand, and so on.... Where else would it feel really good?