healing || reddie one shots

happy birthday

September 3rd, 2017 

Richie sat in his kitchen, at his small table. Staring down at a book. A photo book. 

'Happy birthday, eds' It read. The tears were already spilling out of his face. 

Eddie had been gone almost a whole year. Richie was the only one celebrating his birthday. He was turning 41. Or he was supposed to be. Richie didn't like using the past tense, or 'supposed to be' sentences when referencing Eddie. 

His phone had been flashing with notifications all day. 

'We know today is hard on you'

'Please answer your phone'

'Do you need anything?'

'It's okay, Richie'

Nobody got it. It wasn't okay, and it never would be. Nobody understood, or cared. They all got their happy endings. Richie would never be happy without Eddie. 

He flipped through the photo book he had created. A collage of Eddies life. Every picture he could find from the internet and people in Eddies life. He wished that he could have taken all of these, that he could take more. 

He beat himself up everyday for the fact that he lost him for 27 years. And then lost him for the rest of his life. 

He smiled through his tears at a picture of Eddie from his college years. He cried harder when he found old arcade photos from when they were kids. 

Across from him, there was a bouquet of flowers for Eddie. As well as a balloon tied to the chair. Richie knew it seemed crazy. Maybe it was unhealthy, but Eddie deserved a birthday. He talked to Eddie a lot, even though it destroyed him from the inside out, it also kept him from going crazy. He needed to talk to Eddie to be able to get through everyday. 

He finished looking through the book and set it aside. He opened the card that he had written and read it over. 

Eddie my love, 

Happy birthday, darling. Every day without you with me is painful. You deserve the world. I'm so sorry for what happened. I hope you aren't upset at me. I would do anything to go back. I love you more than words. I hope you like your flowers. I spent a good while picking them out. I think I'll keep them forever. I'm hurt by the idea that this is how I will spend every one of your birthdays. But each year is a year closer to me being reunited with you. Sometimes I wish it would come sooner, sometimes I think about making it come sooner. Well, more often than not I think that. I shouldn't be excited for death, but I feel like I'm rotting more and more each day without you. My soul is gone, so what's the point of the rest of me? You were my other half, eds. My better half. When I saw you for the first time in 27 years, I thought I would never lose you again. I wasn't prepared. I hope you know how much I love you, how you mean the world to me and always will. I will never love anyone else. Only you. I hope you don't doubt that, or worry that I will replace you. You are mine forever, and I am yours. I love you so much. I love you forever, I promise. Happy birthday, spaghetti man. 

Yours, 

Richie 

He was sobbing by the end of it. He stood up and set the card next to Eddies flowers. He admired his kitchen table arrangement. He hoped that Eddie liked it. 

He set his hands on the back of the chair that he claimed to be Eddies. He looked down and smiled weekly. "Happy birthday, eds." He whispered.