16. 취한

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It was almost midnight, Ricky had been dialling Zhang Hao's number nonstop, but every time, the phone would ring and then go off. His cousin was not picking up. He knew Hao wasn't an early sleeper, so he must be busy doing something, so after a few good minutes, he gave up. He was driving through the night, feeling so shitty and angry. He didn't wanna go back home, in fact, he needed to talk to someone, ask them whether he did the right thing. But the best advice giver was doing God knows what, so he finally called the other person whom he felt comfortable talking to.

Kim Taerae.

Luckily, Taerae picked up after a few rings.

"Eo, Ricky, why are you calling so late? You okay?"

"Hyung, I'll be at your place in a few hours, okay? I know it's late, but I'll explain once we meet." Ricky said.

"Huh- What happened?" Taerae sounded absolutely out of his mind, "Where are you? Ricky, are you alright?"

"I'm doing fine. I was gone from the town for a bit." Ricky calmly answered, "Just wait, I promise, I'll tell you everything."

"O-okay, okay. Be safe." Taerae said and then cut the call. Ricky locked his phone later. Leaving a sigh of frustration, he drove all the way back to the town. It took him a long time, and he thought a lot about what happened. No, he wasn't in the wrong. Gyuvin should at least apologize before saying anything.

By the time Ricky rang the bell to Taerae's place, it was almost 3 in the morning. Taerae looked devastated, he was trying so hard to stay up, by drinking and watching TV.

"Oh my God! Hyung, did you stay up for me?" Ricky asked, "I'm so sorry, I- you could have gone to sleep, I'd have woken you up-"

"It's okay." Taerae said, "I probably wouldn't be able to, I was worried about you."

"There's really nothing..." Ricky sighed, "I'm really sorry, hyung. For bothering you so much."

Taerae tsked, "Come in. You had a long drive, right? Come take some rest." He brought the younger in, who kinda threw his body on the couch from the exhaustion. Looking at the ceiling, he sighed again, thinking about the incident from before.

"What happened? May I ask now?" Taerae asked. His cheeks were flushed, he was probably a bit tipsy. But his eyes were full of concern. Ricky sat up, shuffling and coughing to clear his throat, his mind, to collect his thoughts.

"So... I might have ruined our very first night out." Ricky started his narrative. It was as vivid as it can get. Although he skipped a few unimportant incidents, the whole picture was almost unbiased, as if Ricky was just stating the whole thing, without taking sides. He noticed how carefully Taerae was listening, cause he was frowning at the right places, getting angry where he should be. In the end, he looked quite offended.

"He said this to you?" He asked, "Gyuvin left you there and just- walked away without saying anything?"

"Hm." Ricky said, "I messed up, hyung-"

"No, you didn't!" Taerae said, "He did. How come he hadn't contacted you yet-"

"Um... He did." Ricky showed his phone, now switched off, "He started calling about an hour later. But I was driving and... It was getting annoying so I turned it off."

Taerae blinked, "You... You don't wanna solve it?"

"I don't know..." Ricky fell on his back again, "I.. I know he deserves to know, but I just.. can't bring myself to tell him."

"Tell him what?" Taerae asked, handing the younger a can of beer.

"The secret that I kept, the reason I'm so scared to go all the way."

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