The zodiacs

A not-so merry Christmas (Air signs)

m libra & m gemini & m aquarius

"Remind me why we're doing this again", Aquarius grumbled under a fake white beard, fully dressed as Santa Claus.

"Money", Gemini responded while putting on his reindeer horns.

"Goodwill", Libra hit Gemini on the ribs, accommodating his elf hat.

"Alright", Aquarius agreed, not clearing up to which answer, "but why is it only me that's dressed up?" He turned to look at Gemini, who was supposed to be a reindeer, and imagined him dressed up as one, red nose and all. If he got really into character, would he have to crawl on the ground...?

As if reading his thoughts, Gemini showed him the middle finger, "Fuck off".

Libra answered, "It'd be fine by me but it's a bit hard finding costumes my size", and sure enough, he was a very tall man of a strong build. Aquarius tried to imagine him dressed up as an elf, but the picture was so bizarre he immediately shook it off.

"No, it's ok like this".

Someone called them from outside the dressing room, - a small storage space full of boxes- announcing the scenario - a small open space in the middle of a mall- was ready.

Before stepping out, Libra grabbed the other two by their arms, telling them with a serious face, "Only this time, try to be nice. No cursing, no faces, no double faced comments, alright? We're dealing with kids. Try to make them like you".

"Sure".

"Whatever".

Libra looked disheartened.

They got into positions- there was a fake fireplace and a whole christmas setup behind the closed curtain that didn't actually hide anything. The seat for Sants Claus was finally occupied by a bored-looking Aquarius, and Gemini stood by his side, holding a basket full of Christmas cookies. Libra was the animator, so he took a deep breath in and fake smiled. He just hoped neither made a child cry.

Once the curtains opened, there was a group of fifteen kids and their parents waiting.

"Hello! Santa Claus and his reindeer Rudolph are here to listen to your wishes! How happy are we tonight? " he tried to be as animated as possible.

The crowd of kids all answered different things, but their excitement was apparent. Libra gained confidence. Though it had been too early on.

"Oh, I hope so! Santa Claus loves excited kids", immediately after saying it, Libra could feel the ground crumbling beneath him. Aquarius turned his neck to stare at him so quickly it almost snapped- Gemini looked the other way trying not to laugh.

Libra cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure, "We'll start with a brief story of how they got here. Mr. Santa Claus, if you could".

Gemini had to discreetly hit a distracted Aquarius to remind him that it was his turn.

"Hoho", he said, and it sounded more like a foreign word than Santa's trademark, "I come here from the North Pole to give gifts to kids who are good".

There was an expectant silence.

Realizing Aquarius had no plans on continuing, Libra shed a sweat and proceeded to intervene, "What about you mr. Rudolph?"

Gemini side-eyed him, "Reindeers don't talk".

At Libra's exasperated gaze, he hesitantly added, "Moo?"

We're not getting paid, Libra could feel the gazes of the parents burning him alive.

Yet the show had to go on. "Then we'll proceed with a space for questions! Would anyone want to ask anything to mr. Santa Claus?" he signaled Gemini to be ready with the microphone, but Aquarius understood it to be for him and also stood up. Now the three of them stood awkwardly in the middle of the scenario like convicts about to be executed.

A little girl raised her hand, making Libra sigh in relief. "The little girl over there! Mr. Rudolph will go with the microphone".

Once Gemini had gotten to her, Libra asked, "What's your name?"

"Lily", she answered.

"Beautiful name! so what's your question?"

She looked Aquarius up and down, and spoke, "Why is Santa so short?"

Libra knew he had to get the microphone out of Aquarius' hands as quickly as possible. On his part, Aquarius glared at the kid, "Because he's not rea-".

"To fit better on his sled!" Libra covered the other's microphone abruptly, causing a loud repercussion in the sound systems.

"Any other questions?" Libra just wanted it to he over.

A little boy raised his hand this time, but as soon as Gemini got close, he snatched the mic out of his hands and began yelling, "You're not Rudolph! Where is your red nose?!"

"See, I told you there was something different about Rudolph", Aquarius muttered at a destroyed Libra.

Gemini, tasked with handling the case, shrugged his shoulders, "Moo".

"That's what a cow says! you're a fake! you kidnapped Rudolph!", he accused him. The other kids seemed to find that plausible and catastrophic, and some began crying.

"No! No!", Libra tried one last time, "Rudolph only gets it red when Santa rides him!"

"Just give me the mic", Aquarius sighed, patting the frozen Libra on the shoulder.

"Hoho", he said, and it sounded just as bad as the first time, "It's time to tell me your wishes. Make a waiting line on the side. Hoho".

At least most of the crowd decided to make a line. Aquarius sat down, the other two standing to his side.

The first kid came up and sat on his lap.

"I want a dog", he whispered.

"But cats are better", Aquarius whispered back.

"No they're not!" the kid crossed his arms.

"Yes they are. A dog ate my hamster once, and the only thing we found of it was some fur on its cage", Aquarius argued.

The kid went away crying.

Libra imagined how good a bottle of vodka would taste.

The next kid came up, and whispered, "I want a divorce".

The three of them froze. Aquarius looked up at Libra, desperately seeking guidance on what to do. The other didn't know either.

"Uh, why?" Aquarius settled in asking.

The kid innocently answered, "Because my mommy wants one. She always talks about it".

"My God", Libra murmured. "What does one say to that?"

"Dunno", Gemini murmured back, "But most certainly not what Aquarius is about to say".

Aquarius said, "Hope you get it dude. Hoho".

The kid went away happily.

"Hey, Gemini", Libra poked him before the other kid went up, "Get us out of here".

Gemini lit up at the opportunity, "Sure". With a strong push, Aquarius fell to the floor. "Gosh! I think mr. Santa passed out! it must be too hot for him in here".

Aquarius turned his head at him, anger apparent. Gemini pretended to check on him. "He says he needs to go outside and heal in the snow!" he picked the other up, supporting him with his shoulder, signaling for Libra to do the same.

"Merry Christmas!" he quickly waved goodbye and joined the other two, basically jogging to the nearest exit.

(Later on the night, a reindeer, an elf and Santa Calus were spotted wasted on a bar).

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