Midnight Thoughts ~ Shadow & Bone

7

I found Kaz on the roof of Wylan's workshop, staring across the same skyline where I had yelled at him only twenty-four hours earlier. He turned his head only slightly as he heard my approach, soon returning his eyes to the city.

"I went to the Slat," he informed me as I stood beside him, several feet away. I furrowed my brows, knowing what Castiel had said about Per Haskell's stance on associating with anyone even formerly aligned with the Crows.

"He turn you down?" I guessed. He glanced down at me and nodded.

"I saw someone peeking out of the attic. It's so worn down that you can see through pieces of wood, and there was someone there. Am I correct in assuming that this was one of your rats?" I hummed, and he nodded once more. "They're safe enough there for now, but if Haskell finds them there, they're done for." I nodded.

"They're safe enough, but they're freezing. Tryne can only do so much to keep all four of them warm, they won't last much longer in there." He nodded.

"If I can get to the Dregs, I'll get them out, put them in a real room where they'll be warm. How long have they been in the Slat?" I sighed and shook my head.

"Teal says a week. That was a few days ago." I looked back out at the buildings. "When will this stop, Kaz?" He looked down at me, and I shook my head again. "If this doesn't go according to plan, if Pekka still wins, how far are you willing to go? How many people are you willing to lose? Who are you willing to lose, Kaz?"

"Not you," he assured me quickly. "Never you."

"I would love to believe that's true, but with your never-ending need for revenge and your blatant disregard for the consequences, I'm not sure I really can." He turned to me quickly and brushed his gloved hand against mine.

"I will not lose you," he spoke again firmly. He shook his head. "You are one thing I am unwilling to lose." I tilted my head.

"And what of the others?" I questioned. "Jesper, Inej, Wylan, Nina, what of them? Because if you would be willing to lose all of them just to achieve your own spiteful goals, then I'm not sure we understand each other anymore." He was silent for a moment as he turned his gaze to the ground.

How I missed the days where I could simply be in his presence. The days when simply being in the same room was enough for both of us. Now it seemed that after all we had been through together, every second we spent speaking was one spent arguing. No longer could I just be there, it now seemed that every time I was in the same room as him, I was having to lecture him about going too far. I had always loved how far Kaz was willing to go when it came to achieving his goals, but once upon a time, his goals included keeping his Crows together. Once upon a time, his goals were to benefit the Club and the people that mattered to him. Now it seemed that the only person that mattered was himself and the only thing that he wanted was revenge.

"I won't lose them," he murmured after a moment. He looked up at me and lifted a hand to brush a fallen piece of hair from my face, letting his fingers linger there for only a moment longer. "I won't lose them, and I won't lose you. If you believe nothing else I say, believe that." I took a deep breath and nodded, seeing movement out of the corner of my eye.

I glanced over to see Inej emerging from the building below, and I smiled a bit in her direction. As Kaz quickly lowered his hand upon spotting her as well, I stepped away from him, squeezing Inej's hand gently as I passed her to descend back into the warmth of the workshop.