Their Little Princess

Chapter Twenty

My eyes open to the sun shining through the window. I sit up, the blanket falling down to my lap and look around. Remembering I'm in Carlo's room. I slide to the end of his bed and stand up.

I make my way into my own room and brush my teeth, as I'm brushing my thick hair, I hear the front door open and shut then I hear my oldest brothers' voice. I light up inside and I drop my brush on my vanity, running downstairs.

I practically jump into Elijah's open arms, "Hi, angel," He says, hugging me tightly.

I wave to Alessandro and Francesco who are sliding off their coats.

A part of me didn't want to think about the possibility that they'd really leave, but that same part of me had learned not to place too much trust in anyone to be there for you. To stay. But little by little, I'm learning to trust. Little by little, they're showing me I can trust them.

"Did you eat yet?" Elijah asks, sliding off his sand brown trench coat. 

"No, I just came down."

He leads me into the kitchen and I sit down at the kitchen table. I'm exhausted. Xander is sitting in the seat across from me, staring down at his phone.

He prepares a few eggs and toast and slides it over to me with a glass of orange juice. I watch the glass of orange juice warily.

"Daniel poisoned me once," I blurt.

Immediately, I don't know where that came from. I don't know what urged me to tell him that. He looks at me, his brows slightly furrowed.

"He poisoned me once, and he used to drug my drinks. That's why I don't..." I trail off, looking down at my hands in my lap.

I would still drink it anyway though. Sometimes because I know I would get in trouble worse if I didn't, but most times because I needed water. I would go for days at a time with no food or drink and it would be the first thing I had in weeks.

"That's why you don't like to drink first?" He offers an end to my sentence.

"Yes," I respond.

It's terrifying to drink something, realizing there's something inside, but not being able to do anything about it. It was choice between being poisoned or drugged by whatever Daniel decided to give me at the moment, or whither away slowly from thirst. It was only 3, maybe 4 times, but I get scared of drinking anything now for fear of what might be in it.

I realize Xander watching me from across the table, his brows furrowed slightly, he opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by Alessandro, "Maddie, can we speak in my office?"

I stand up from the table and follow him into his office down the hall, sitting down at the seat in front of the desk as he walks around it to sit behind the desk.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

That catches me off guard, he's never expressed any genuine care in how I'm doing, if I'm being honest, I've barely seen him since my first week.

"I'm feeling okay."

He nods, "Tell me what happened last night."

He knows everything, I can't have any secrets! I shift awkwardly in my seat. I avoid his eye contact as if my life depends on it. His gaze burns into me.

"Well..." I say unsurely, "I had a nightmare."

He doesn't say anything, he continues watching me. It's a smart tactic because now I feel the urge to keep talking.

"Yesterday, when Mr. Jackson stopped me and he grabbed me, I don't...I couldn't move and it brought me back to when Daniel...When Daniel would punish me, and abuse me and I just...I froze," My voice is shaking now, "And then when I left...When I left, I felt embarrassed. How can I say I'm healing if I never get over what I'm supposed to be healing from?! I just..." I stop short, I shock myself. I shock myself by being this honest with him.

"You're confused?" He offers, narrowing his eyes slightly and tilting his head.

I focus my gaze on my hands, "I guess so."

"And what are you confused about?"

I re-shift myself in my seat, "I'm confused about where I fit into this. I...I'm a 13 year old girl, but in a lot of ways, I'm just what's left...I'm what's left of the family you guys lost, I'm what's left of 13 years of abuse, I'm what's left of mom and Daniel's years of tireless torture, I'm..." I can't finish the sentence. I can't tell him how much it hurts being reduced to what's left. I can't even look at him when I'm like this.

"Look at me."

I can't obey, I keep my blurring vision on my hands, groundingly folded in my lap.

"Madison, look at me."

I finally look up at him, stubbornly wiping the tears out of my eyes. And there's something in his hard gaze I don't recognize. As if the black waves that usually greet my gaze have calmed, returning to the soothing currents of the ocean. He looks me in the eye with his calm stern gaze.

"You are not your trauma."

His voice is calm, and strict. The words are simple, but they hit me in such a sensitive spot, and before I know it, a tear finally falls.

I don't know if it's because Alessandro of all people is showing compassion. The inflection in his voice is making me feel like he could get it. I have to remind myself that he lost his father, could it have affected him more than I figured?

Up until now, I always assumed nothing could affect him. He stands up finally, walking around the desk, he places a hand on my shoulder.

"It's not weak to be broken, it shows that you're strong enough to keep going. You're strong, Maddie."

Then I'm really crying. And he doesn't walk away.

He stays.

...

Later that night, Elijah walks with me up to my room to tuck me in. I climb into my bed, he sits on the side of the bed as I climb under the blanket.

"Are you okay for the night?" He asks.

I nod and he stands up, tucking the blanket and kissing the top of my head.

"Good night, Maddie."

"Good night," I say, "Love you," I say, already falling into the pits of sleep.

It's quiet for a long time and sleep steals my consciousness as Elijah responds.

"Love you, too."