Their Little Princess

Chapter Fifty-Six

"It'll be fine. I'll show you your room as soon as we get in, and if you feel overwhelmed at any point, just let someone know, okay?"

I nod, nervously.

This is my first time leaving the country. My first time in Italy. And my first time celebrating Christmas. I was kidnapped by my uncle a little over a week ago, and then my big brother took a bullet for me. So overall, I'd say it's a time of trying new things.

Despite all of that, what I'm most nervous of is seeing my family. My brothers have assured me that no one blames me for what happened, and of course it's not that I don't believe them, I think my mind is changing in that way, I'm starting to see things differently. But I think it's how I'm hardwired, at least for now, its just something I can't change for now.

I remember Mateo bringing this trip up before, he'd said that everyone on Nonno's direct side of the family visits each year for Christmas. I'm excited, but nervous, and a little scared of feeling left out having missed over a decade of this tradition. It's such a beautiful city, and some of my anxiousness melts away when I get out of the car and see the house. It's beautiful.

I can't even tell if it's bigger than the mansion back in New York, but it's more of a countryside kind of feeling. It's white on the outside, one of the top floors has a balcony for each room, seemingly held up by large white pillars that stand on either side of the front entrance, the front door is a double door and can't be any shorter than 15 feet. and then there's the biggest stretch of healthy green grass I've ever seen stretching from the front of the house and outward, seemingly surrounding the house with a simple marble fountain in the center of the huge courtyard. It takes everything in me to keep my jaw from dropping in awe.

But my heart beats a little faster after seeing  the cars in the driveway. 

Elijah puts his arms around my shoulders, pulling me close to his side as we walk in, my other brothers getting out at different paces, Xander sitting half in and half out the car, sitting in the end seat with his feet on the asphalt below, as he texts on his phone but eventually he stands up and follows as we walk down the long stretch of land and Elijah knocks.

When Nonna opens the door, I'm thankful she doesn't immediately go in for a hug because it would have caught me off guard, instead I settle for a hand grab and grab her hand with a smile, "Hi," I greet. Her face has a sad touch to it, one that I recognize, but when she smiles, it's genuine and she gives my hand a squeeze.

Zia Cecilia is close behind Nonna, her smile just as kind and bright as usual, "Hi, Zia," I say, my brothers echoing similar greeting. My grip on the back of Elijah's coat begins to loosen until Zio Alessio and Nonno walk out and my anxiety is on level 100. Nonno has lost 2 sons, Zio Alessio has lost his only brothers, and if they dig into it the right way, they could see it as my fault, and the thought terrifies me. But the warm smile on Nonno's face calms me.

"Hello, my beautiful granddaughter," He says kindly as he walks over.

"It's freezing, mamá, let's let them in," Zio Alessio says, sitting down on the couch.

I'm grateful for that because it's like negative a million degrees outside. We walk the rest of the way in.

"The others are in the basement," Zia Cecilia says, after greeting each of my brothers individually.

Carlo, Francesco, and Xander head down to the basement which I'm assuming is just as nice as the large marble hall we're standing in, while Emilio heads upstairs. "I want to know how you're feeling, if that' alright," Nonno says.

"I'm um..." I look to Sandro as if expecting him to answer for me, but I know it wouldn't sound genuine if he said anything. "I'm okay, just a little on edge. I'm sorry for what happened to Zio Dante," I say gently, my eyes finding the light colored hardwood floor beneath my feet.

"Nonsense," Nonna says, "You sound just like Alessio. This is no one's fault except his for doing what he did. Everyone in a family has a role, and if his role made him unhappy, there were ways to go about dealing with it besides killing," She hesitates at that part as though it hurts her to say it, "Or hurting his own family."

I can't even imagine the way it must feel losing a son. Losing someone you raised, and gave birth to, and loved and nurtured. Losing him at the hands of your own son. I don't know her well enough to say, but if she were me, I'd feel as though it was my fault. Every day I would beat myself up over it. 

I hug her. 

It's a real hug. Fueled by sympathy, guilt, sadness. I just hug her, and she reciprocates almost immediately.

After a moment, Sandro's voice interrupts, "If you don't mind, I'd like to show her to her room, Nonna."

She let's go reluctantly, "I'll make lunch, how does that sound?" She asks me.

I smile, "Sounds great."

I follow Sandro up the long white staircase and into the simple corridor. It has white carpet that feeds under each door. It's simple compared to the rest of the house as far as I've seen, but it has enough space for multiple clearly large rooms, making it a long hallway, and we walk down the hall, finally coming to a stop, "This is where dad and the rest of us usually stays."

I can almost immediately tell which one is dad's, the room at the end of the hallway, it's almost a gut feeling. Alessandro leads me into mine. It's more plain than I'm used to. all the walls and everything are white, the furniture, the rug. I have a tugging feeling that kind of feels like missing home, despite the feeling, I feel a small surge of happiness that I've gotten to the point where I can miss a home.

I walk in. "We could probably have someone come in over the summer while our grandparents are on vacation to redecorate the room," Alessandro says, looking around at the plain room. He looks a little curious seeing the small smile on my face, "It's okay."

.    .    .

we're almost done! just a couple weeks left! 

anything you want to see in the next few chapters?

hope you enjoyed, see you next week xx