Their Little Princess

Chapter Thirty-Two

About an hour later, Elijah calls everyone down for dinner. I've never had this much good food so consistently in my life and it's great.

Once dinner is finished, I begin loading the dishwasher. 

"Did you..." Xander hesitates, "Did you enjoy yourself today," He mutters.

I shrug indifferently, "It was fun."

He's quiet for a while before sighing, "I don't know what you want from me."

I stay where I'm standing, keeping my watery eyes glued to the sink, "I don't know what you mean."

"Don't fucking act clueless. You've barely said a word to me—"

I flinch at his harsh tone, "I thought we already went over this," I say, tightening my grip on the plate as I rinse it.

"But I'm the only one you're treating this way! You're talking to everyone else, but I get the brush offs and the silent treatment and you just...You treat me like I'm some villain! I messed up, I get it, alright?! But why are you shutting me out so damn hard?!" He says.

"It's not personal," I bite back, "I shut everyone out."

"I saw you with Carlo the other day, laughing and teasing each other. And at least you talk to Francesco. I invited your friends over, I donated to that stupid charity, I don't know what else you want me to do!"

"So is that it?!" I snap, "You—You donate to some charity and invite my friends from Seattle and suddenly you're the perfect brother?!" I look at him incredulously, "Suddenly, it doesn't matter that you said that I don't belong here, or that you chose your girlfriend over me and humiliated me and then acted like everything was fine simply because you're not the one that's offended."

It's quiet, I clench my fist, staring down at the floor and willing myself not to cry, "All I wanted was an apology."

I'm surprised by how surprisingly level I kept that. But that doesn't change the fact that according to their rules, everything I said could easily be interpreted as disrespectful.

"I'm sorry."

I almost don't know how to process his apology, "Okay—"

"No, listen. I'm not a good person...Okay? And so when...When I come around something fragile and just...Just good, I..." He pauses, he's struggling to come up with how to say it, "When you moved in, and you were scared of messing things up? That's what it is, okay? I'm—I'm scared of messing this up and pushing you so far away that I lose you again, but forever this time. You don't get it, Maddie...I lost you, and Elena, and dad, and then losing you again, I would...I would end it..." He say quietly, "So I'm sorry, okay?"

I wasn't ready for that level of honesty and I feel the urge to cry but I try so hard not to break down in the middle of the kitchen. Instead I hug him. At first, he puts his hands on my shoulders as if ready to push me away, but he hesitates. 

And then, after a good 15 seconds, he hesitantly returns the hug. I hug him tighter.

"You aren't gonna lose me," I say, wiping my tear with my shoulder, "I'm learning that's kind of the thing with family, right? You can't quite get rid of them."

.    .    .

i know this chapter is short, so i put it as a part of a triple update that i hope you guys enjoyed!

hope you guys enjoyed their little bonding moment. i liked writing it, figured we could use a little redeeming quality

how do we feel about xander?