𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞 ★ leah williamson

prologue

My breath stopped as I watched the ball fly through the air. For seconds, I felt as though it would hit Georgia Stanway, who jumped up just a second late in an attempt to clear it with a header. The ball hit the back of the net as the German fans erupted in a cheer. Without thinking, I stormed to the corner, standing in front of our fans and listening to their screams as I felt my teammates jump on my back.
"That was amazing", Lea Schüller congratulated me and soon, more compliments followed as we made our way back to our half.

45th minute - Halftime

62nd minute - Ella Toone scores for England

extra time

119th minute - Chloe Kelly scores for England

GERMANY LOSES EUROPEAN FINALS

Defeated, I collapsed to the ground. Just like that- we had lost. A game we were so confident we could win. Our journey was over. England were champions. I pulled up my shirt in an attempt to hide the tears that were falling from my eyes. 

Damn it! 

We'd been so close. For a few minutes I heard nothing, it seemed the stadium had fallen silent despite the fact that the opposite was probably real. I didn't turn around to watch the England players (some of which would soon be my teammates at Arsenal) celebrate their victory, I didn't walk over to comfort my teammates in their loss. I just stayed put, pulling some of the holy grass out of Wembley's field. Feeling like I'd sat on the floor forever, I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me back into reality. My eyes lifted from the ground towards the blonde who was now crouched down in front of me - Leah Williamson. My future teammate. She gave me a sympathetic smile, tears brimming at the corner of her own eyes, but for an entirely different reason.

"You played so well today. You have an amazing career ahead of you, Ellie. I can't wait to be your teammate", she smiled, clapping me on my shoulder and embracing me in a hug. Sobs wrecked through my body at the disappointment I felt- entirely ignoring the fact that she seemed to know of my move to Arsenal. In fact, everyone sort of knew, but it wasn't ever confirmed. Arsenal had been interested in me for a year now, and after the absolute drama that had gone down in the January transfer window, people knew that I'd finally give in to their offer, with Bayern having no way of keeping me there anymore.

I appreciated her gesture and the kind words. I knew that I had a great career ahead of me. Not everyone made it into a professional team at only 17 years old and most importantly, not everyone played for the senior national team at such a young age. 

"Thanks", I attempted to say through my sobs but only a miserable sound left my mouth.
Leah smiled at me once more.

"Go talk to your team", she offered me her hand to pull me up, making me realize everyone was waiting for me in a circle.

 
Martina didn't smile at me like she usually did after a game, instead, her face was stern.
"Ladies, you gave it your all today. I know it's disappointing and nothing I say can change that, but I'm proud of every single one of you. I'm proud of the journey we've had and how far we've gotten. And Ellie, I'm proud of you for winning the golden boot!" she glanced my way. The team applauded only minimally enthusiastic, which I couldn't blame them for. I didn't feel like accepting the trophy anyways.

As the England players were lined up in front of the makeshift podium, it took Laura Freigang to push me a little as I realized my name had been called. Slowly, I made my way through the line of people. The England players looked at me in this pitying way and it gnawed at my skin, making me feel even more miserable. It didn't even help when Lucy Bronze, a footballer I had looked up to for a really long time now, stepped out to clap my back. I shot her a small smile before a trophy was pushed into my hand and I left the podium again, only to receive my silver medal a few moments later. Walking out towards the fans felt like a fever dream, I wasn't in the moment and most certainly wasn't taking any of it in. 

My hands clapped automatically without me even realising and soon, we were back in our changing rooms. my mood not having changed. Our coach, Martina, spoke what was most likely encouraging words while we were changing, but I didn't listen. I put on my headphones on the way back to the hotel, and on the way from the hotel to the plane to say farewell to my teammates, missing the celebration that awaited them back in Berlin.

As Sydney Lohmann, my best friend, hugged me, I knew it wasn't the goodbye we had planned. It wasn't the goodbye our friendship deserved. I looked at my best friend without an expression on my face, and she looked back at me in a similar way. I closed my eyes. I rubbed a tear out of my eye.

"I'll miss you", I whisper into her ear as we hugged for one last time.

"It won't be forever", she attempted to cheer me up, but I knew not even her mood could be lifted at this.

"Yeah", I whisper back despite us both not believing her. It kind of would be. I didn't think Syd would ever leave Bayern, and, to be honest, I was planning on staying with Arsenal for a while. We would see each other at national team camps, but we would never be teammates again, the way we had been. Never live together again.

"You'll be okay, right?", I asked, my voice heavy with worry. Syd nodded. I didn't believe her.

I was silent on the way back to the hotel, where I'd be staying for one more night before moving into my new apartment. It took a lot of strength to not let the tears in my eyes suffocate me, but the second I stepped into my hotel room, that not long ago, I'd shared with Syd, darkness engulfed me and took me in completely. The last thing I saw was one of her Bayern shirts, with the number 12 on it, displayed on the bed she had slept in, with a note lying on top of it. I couldn't bring myself to read it, instead collapsing onto my bed and letting my tears swallow me whole.

To some it might seem I had only lost the Euros tonight, but I knew that I had lost everything - my home, my friends, my team.

It was those thoughts rummaging through my brain when I finally fell asleep, without having eaten or even showered. God, this was going to be a long year.