𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞 ★ leah williamson

6 - feeling glorious

Preseason passed like a fever dream, with me juggling our intense training session, the pressure I put on myself to access a place in the starting eleven and the smile Leah gave me every day for roughly a month. It was becoming increasingly difficult not to tell Leah, straight ahead, that I wanted nothing more than to lie with her on the pavement again, drunk out of our minds and laughing about the small things, but I knew that I needed to pull myself together, more than ever, now that the super league was about to begin.

It was the day of my first match with the Arsenal, and even though the team was quite confident we could score three points against Brighton, my body tingled with nerves as I set on the bench in the changing room, my kit hanging proudly behind me. I was wearing our warm up clothes, my leg bouncing against the floor as I attempted to braid my hair, fingers shanking.

"Let me", Leah offered kindly, and I shot her a smile as I turned around, my back towards her as she began combing my hair. Save me, San Francisco was playing in the background, and even though I didn't consider this particular song to be suitable before a game, I didn't complain. Partially because I wasn't sure I could speak without throwing up, and partially because I didn't want to disturb the team's tradition. Our tradition.

"Beth, can you play some good music? Some of us wanna get hyped here", Leah exclaimed and I wanted to thank her for speaking my thoughts, but I couldn't. My stomach was still in a knot.

Beth murmured something in response but I couldn't understand it over the music. She pulled out her phone, and soon enough Eminem was blaring through the speakers. I liked that a bit more.

"Are you nervous?", Leah asked as she pulled a strand of my hair softly. I nodded.

"Yeah", I croaked.

Nervous didn't quite describe the feeling I had. My stomach was twisted, my legs bouncing and my heart pounding in my chest. This was my Arsenal debut. My Arsenal Debut. I couldn't believe it.

I was in the starting eleven, which Jonas had announced to us yesterday. The news had stunned me, to be quite honest, because I hadn't had a coach as confident in me throughout most of my career. I hadn't started a game for my club since around one and a half seasons, to start a game after such short amount of time for a new club- it was incredible.

I was playing across from Beth, just behind Viviane who was our forward point. Although I would've placed myself in Viv's position, I couldn't quite complain. I was starting. Hell, I would've played as the goalie if it meant I got to wear my Arsenal kit from the first whistle blow.

"You don't need to be", Leah reassured me, pulling me back into reality. I smiled, although she couldn't see it.

We soon walked out to warm up, and even though my legs were still tingling, I didn't miss a single step, didn't miss a single pass, didn't miss a single shot. It was perfect.

Going into the game, I felt a little more reassured as I was wearing the number eight across my back, the red shirt hanging loosely from my body.

I tucked it into my shorts in the changing room, being one of the last girls to walk out. Katie came up behind me.

"You're gonna score, eh? What, three?"

I hummed, smiling at her.

"At least", I laughed, even though I knew I wasn't going to score three goals in my debut. I'd be happy with one.

The nerves were present as we walked out to the hymn of North London, wearing our jackets and shaking hands with the Brighton players. I knew that this game was important- it wasn't just a debut, it was the debut after Arsenal had lost the league, and even though I hadn't been present, I could tell the loss still laid heavy on my teammates. They were desperate to prove themselves - we were desperate to prove ourselves. I constantly forgot to include myself.