Dear son

Fifth chapter

Hii!

So this chapter contains more bonding! Yey!

I'm so sorry, I just enjoy making my characters suffer over short but very intensive periods of time and then let them have some peace.

And I promise suffering will be coming at some point! And it will be bad. (Just went through the chapter and realised there is some suffering).

THE TWS ARE: mentioning of dead mother, some sadness

Okay, hope you have fun with this!

Best wishes,
Balls drenched in sweat

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Dear son,

Sooo... I don't know if I should tell you this or if it will cause some deep psychological issues, but I will tell you anyway. Because right now you (or this piece of paper) are the only one I can talk to about this.
If I tell Nico he will make way too big a deal out of it and if I tell granny or grandpa they will start lecturing me about responsibility and so on. So you are my only option, but you can also just skip this letter.
Now to the actual news: Felix and I kissed!
Yes, I know it's not a good idea to do something like that with one of your closest friends, it will ruin the friendship... blah, blah. I am aware.
But it just happened like that! I just put you to sleep (you can't go to sleep without me reading a story to you by the way!) and we were in my room, watching a movie and cuddling as usual. We made a joke about the Terminator's ass and suddenly there was this tension and before I realised what was happening we kissed! And then again and again.
We stopped eventually and he left without a word and now I don't know what to think!
For one I didn't even know kissing Felix was an option... He's one of my closest friends! I never even let myself think about it, but I guess that has to change now... I'll get back to you once I know more, have to do some investigations.

With all my heart,
Your Mom

    I spent my whole Friday hanging out with my mom. We were lying in her bed, watching dumb movies while my mom was working on her laptop and I was binge eating. This was usually how we spent our Sundays, but due to my injuries the weekend came early. And I was definitely not going to complain about it. Spending some quality time with my mom was one of my favourite things to do. It always involved a lot of TV, gossiping, self-care with various skincare products and showing each other Tiktoks. It was our alone time and we made sure to get it at least one day in the week, because there were always people walking in and out of our house unannounced.
    Luke, who was basically attached to me, slept over a lot. Nico checking in, wanting to hang out with my mom or coming for dinner. Zayn needed to borrow something or get Kyra to check on his wife. Even Lucy just showed up sometimes and then spent an afternoon sitting on our couch doing gods know what.
    I laughed at some nonsense joke the main character just made and shoved some more ice cream in my mouth. TV characters could be so stupid...
    "How are you not fat yet?" My mom glanced at the half empty, two-litre strawberry-vanilla ice cream bucket in my lap. "Are you sure you don't smoke?"
    "What does smoking have to do with me being skinny?" I liked the spoon clean before sticking it into the vanilla part, before putting the bucket over on the nightstand. I needed a five minute break or I would get a brain freeze.
    "They make you lose weight... fast metabolism or something. I lost like five kilos after starting to smoke."
    "Good thing you stopped then." I raised my eyebrows and looked at her, but she was already focused on the forms on the screen again. That woman was good at avoiding sensitive topics.
    My mom had a complicated and also very unhealthy relationship with her weight and food in general. It stemmed from an abusive relationship she was in when she was a teenager (it messed her up in many other ways, but the eating disorder she still struggled with the most). With a lot of work and support it had gotten a lot better over the years, but sometimes the loss of appetite and low-self esteem resurfaced. But that's what Nico and I were there for.
    Around noon we got an (unannounced) visitor.
"Are you guys in here?" A widely grinning face popped out from behind the door.
Mom and I both laughed.
"Get in here, Nico."
    I scooted to the side, but realised that it was unnecessary since my mom owned the probably biggest bed in the country and we could have fit an entire frat party on it. Nico plopped down next to me, grabbing some chips out of the bag I was holding.
    "What are we watching?" He asked, his mouth still full.
"Twenty-one jump street."
"Again?" Nico turned his head to me, almost spraying me with tiny bits of chips. "You two seriously have an obsession with this movie!"
    He might have had a point, but there was nothing wrong with it. The movies were funny, cops were getting dragged by high school students and then there was Channing Tatum (both me and my mom found him decent).
    When my mom left to get some take-out (both Nico and I had offered to go with her but in her words "Nico is no good when buying food and you're a cripple", so we stayed home), Nico sat up and scooted in front of me. He was looking at me very seriously, so it was easy to guess what he was about to say and I was really not looking forward to it.
    "He texted me again... Did he text you too?"
Only talking about him made my stomach twist and the bitter taste returned. I nodded and started picking on the skin of my arm to distract myself, avoiding Nico's hazel eyes. I didn't want him to see how upset and hurt I still was over it.
    It had been two years since he left and I had only made small progress in trying to forget him. Forget what he did to my mom and Nico. And me. But he... he was out there acting like everything was fine between us. Like he could just text us as if we were old friends catching up. As if he would come back some day and we would all be reunited.
    The nausea hit me like a brick in the face, I pressed my lips together, trying to breathe steady. If I threw up now, Nico would freak out.
    "I know Felix leaving was shit and... Ugh, fuck it. I'm not even going to try and explain why he did what he did or justify it in any way. He's an egoistic dick and I'll never forgive him, but he's just doing what he thinks is right. He really loves you, kid."
After hearing the name Felix, I tuned out, only hearing the rest half-consciously. My throat started to close off and the urge to throw up all the food I had eaten got worse and worse. I could feel my heart racing in my chest and my hands were shaking.
    All I could think about was the moment Felix walked out, looking at me with tears and heart shattering grief in his eyes before closing the door behind him. The memory replayed over and over in my mind as I sat there motionless. I was afraid of doing something out of my control if I moved now. Run away. Vomit. Lock myself in my room and cry. All of these things I had done before when it came to the topic of Felix.
    "Hey guys! Kyra texted me to come over for lunch!"
I was so in my own head I didn't even see Lucy coming in until she was already laying spread across the bed, smiling at Nico and me. It took me a couple seconds to fully come back to reality, but neither of the adults seemed to have noticed.
    "Good! She should be back soon with the food but we got some snacks if you're hungry." Nico gestured towards the mess of various bags that were either empty or half-full.
Lucy's eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open as she looked from the mess to Nico and then to me. She stared at us for a second longer before asking. "You ate all of that and you're still hungry?"
"Pretty much!" Nico smiled his typical Nico smile. "But Percy had way more than me!"
    "Mhm..." Lucy shook her head and then gave her attention to me. "And how are you doing? Luke told me what happened the other day."
I had to smile a bit. Lucy was one of the few people who could give you their whole attention. Every time she looked at me and started listening I had the feeling like I was the most important person in the world. There was nothing else she would rather do and no thoughts distracting her, only the person telling her something.
    "I'm getting better. Luke forcing me to stay home helped a lot."
Lucy chuckled.
    "Oh yeah, he had a whole rant about you not staying home and blacking out in school when he got home yesterday. He sounded like a worried mother."
    Steps approached the bedroom and my mom came in the door, two bags full of food on each arm. It looked like she went shopping for three days worth of groceries and not just lunch for four people.
    "Luke is a worried mother. I swear he has more motherly qualities than me and you combined. He will be a great mother to five children some day."
    Mom put the food down on the bed and then started handing out the white boxes. She didn't even have to ask what we wanted, because she had all of our favourite menus memorised.
    "Thanks, Mom." I kissed her on the cheek before inhaling my food.
The afternoon went by quickly, many movies were watched (I think we were somewhere around eight movies now...) and when the sun started to go down, two more people joined our group. Once again I want to thank my mom for buying such a big bed.
    Luke came in with Gaia following closely behind him. Their laughter and smiles quickly died down when they saw all the people lying around, all snacking chips and gummy bears out of their own bags.
    While Gaia had the face expression of someone helplessly overwhelmed, Luke seemed to be more surprised by his moms presence. In two big steps he was over by the bed and kissed her on the cheek.
    "Mom, what are you doing here?" He asked without taking his eyes off her once like she was going to disappear if he did.
Lucy looked up at him with a smile. "Kyra invited me over for lunch and now I'm stuck here."
    Luke laughed, the relief visible on his face. He waved Gaia over to him, but she shook her head. Yeah, I felt that. So many people and not knowing over half of them was horrible. I decided to help her out a little by introducing her to the people she hadn't met yet.
    "Gaia, this is Nico. He's my godfather, a complete crack head." I pointed at Nico, who snapped his head around and looked at me with a very offended stare.
"Hey, I only do weed!"
    Ignoring him I gestured to Lucy. "And this is Lucy, she's Luke's Mom. She's also the only decent person here, who has never committed any crimes like substance abuse, theft or second degree murder."
"I have done that." Lucy chimed in between two bites of chips.
    "Shhh, you're not helping!" I laughed and to my relief there was a smile on Gaias lips too. She moved around a bit before taking a seat on the bed like the rest of us, picking a spot between Luke and me. Luke offered her some gummy bears he had stolen from me but Lucy shook her head.
"Those are not vegetarian and I don't want to get my new phone dirty. But thank you!"
    "Oh? A new phone?" Mom asked.
Gaia opened her mouth to say something, but Luke was faster. He seemed really excited, his eyes glowing and he was speaking a bit faster. "Not only a new phone but also her first! She's never had one before so I could give her all the info and advice I have." Gaia whispered something about not understanding any of it anyways, making me snort. Yeah, Luke could talk about technology for hours (I had to watch some youtube videos to get at least some idea of his lectures).
    "And you still ended up with an Iphone didn't you?" I predicted with a grin.
Luke might have had a lot of knowledge, memorising almost the info of every video and article he'd ever seen, but he still liked to stick to the basics. He was simple that way.
    "If it's the one with the apple then yes." Gaia held up a green Iphone thirteen plus.
"Yeah and not bad. That's a nice one."
    Now there were six people hanging out in my moms bed. For a while it seemed like we were going to stay there forever, but around our eleventh movie Zayn came over to get his wife. It had been dark for a long time outside, but I had no idea how late it actually was.
    It took Zayn a very long time to process the scene in front of him and when he did, he just shook his head, mumbling "I'm not even going to ask", which was probably for the best.
When he saw Lucy and Luke sitting next to each other, he smiled and then took Lucy's hand.
    "It's late. You should get to bed and you should too." He looked at his son.
Luke, who had already started to fall asleep about half an hour ago, just got up and shuffled out the room. Lucy and Zayn followed him.
    "Nico?" Mom asked.
"I'm staying."
    "Gaia?"
Gaia perked up, obviously not expecting to be asked anything. She looked at me first, waiting for my approval, so I just nodded. If she wanted to sleep here she was more than welcome to do so.
    "Sure... yeah, I would like to stay."
"Do you need to ask your parents first? And if they say no Percy can drive you home." Mom offered.
    Gaia blinked a couple times, her face darkening, but then she looked at my mom as bright as always.
"No, my mom doesn't really care. So I can stay. Thank you!"
    After that she left the room very quickly and I could hear her going over to mine. I said good night to the other two and then followed her.
    Together Gaia and I got the pullout bed ready and went to brush our teeth (I got Gaia a new toothbrush of course). Back in the room I didn't turn on the TV like I usually would, because I had definitely seen enough movies and screens for a day.
    While lying there in silence Gaias words came back to mind. It bugged me for no real reason. Maybe she just worded it wrong or I worried too quickly, but I just couldn't let it go.
    "Gaia?"
"Hm?"
"What did you mean when you said 'your mom doesn't care'?" I held my breath while waiting for an answer. Hopefully she wouldn't be offended. A lot of demi-gods didn't like talking about their parents. Most of them with good reason (other to seem more mysterious).
    "Well... she can't really. Because she's-"
I realised what she was going to say immediately. Another problem many demi-gods shared.
    "Dead."
"Yup." Gaia made a popping sound with her mouth.
    Then it was silent between us. Once again my dumb brain couldn't think of anything to say that could help or console her at least. If I said that I understood or I could relate, then that would just be lying. Telling her she was in a better place now was probably a lie too. Saying that everything was going to be okay was maybe lying but definitely disrespectful.
    "I'm sorry." My mouth said before my brain could react.
"It's okay. She has been dead for a couple months now and I'm doing fine on my own. I'm just glad this town doesn't care enough about us demi-gods, so they didn't bother putting me in a foster home or some shit like that."
    Encouraged by her sarcastic tone I dared to make a joke.
"They probably thought you would be dead by now anyways."
    Gaia laughed. Then we were both quiet and the last thing I thought was that Mom and I would have to do our alone-time-day on Sunday anyways.

Dear son,

A few days have passed since the kissing-my-very-good-friend-on-the-lips-incident and I got some updates.
So the most important part is that we talked about it. Apparently Felix has had a crush on me for a very long time now (Pretty disappointed in myself for not noticing that. I mean how could I not? Usually I can smell someone being attracted to me ten metres against the wind!). And the more I've thought about it and got myself to not suppress every slightly sexual or romantic thought about Felix (there were surprisingly many of those).
And after a bit of talking about that we decided to start dating. Take it slow of course.
I just got home from his place, we kissed some more and... why do I feel like giggling and kicking my feet.
Oh god, I am sixteen, I have a whole child! Why do I only now feel and behave like a teenager now?
Anyways, I'll stop mentally scarring you now. But I will keep you updated on any major news.

With all my heart,
Your Mom

    I woke up drenched in sweat, the sheets sticking to my arms and neck. My heart was hammering inside my chest and I could barely breathe. It felt like I had an anvil sitting on my chest, pushing down on my lungs. The stuffy air in the room didn't help, but I was too tired to even think about opening the window and letting in some cool air.
    The images of the nightmare haunted me, not willing to leave my mind. Barking hellhounds, Felix talking in a language I couldn't understand, Mom crying in a corner... After a couple minutes of just sitting in bed and nothing changing I got up. Gaia was still asleep, so I did my best to not step on her and close the door as quietly as possible behind me.
    The door to my moms room was still half open, I just slipped in. It was dark inside, but I knew the way to her bed blind, lying down next to her.
    I didn't want to wake her up and decided to just stay next to her, not move and just breathe. Hearing her regularly in- and exhale and seeing her body rise and sink in the dark was a big help already. She was okay, nothing was wrong. After realising that, everything started to calm down again, only my heart was still pounding.
    A muffled whine drew my attention back to my mom. She started moving her hands as if she was trying to get a hold of something, but she kept grabbing into empty space. Quietly I took her hand, squeezing it a little until she stopped fussing and went back to sleeping peacefully.
    Mom had always had a lot of nightmares. When I was a child I would often wake up from her screams and her calling for help. Sometimes it had been me who woke her up, told her everything was going to be okay, but most times it had been Felix.
    I would listen to him calming her down, comforting her through the walls or sitting in front of the door and be happy that my mom had someone who was there for her.
    Then he left and the nightmares have gotten worse ever since. She wasn't only calling out for help anymore, but also for him. She needed him to get her through the bad times. She just needed him by her side. And he wasn't there. That self-centred, ungrateful ass had left. Because of some fucking idiotic reason. He had thrown her and their life together away for his own selfish wishes.
    I tried to replace him the best I could, but I wasn't doing such a good job. Everytime I tried to help my mom, she would look at me with this guilty, heartbroken look in her eyes, telling me this wasn't my job and that she should be taking care of me. So all in all I just made it worse.
"Bad sleep?" Mom asked with her rough voice, that she always had after waking up.
I looked over to her and only now noticed her half open eyes and a wry smile on her lips. I felt her squeezing my hand back.
"Yeah, you too?"
She nodded, then closed her eyes again. I did the same and we were both just laying there. The silence was soothing, every breath that was taken brought me closer and closer to going back to sleep.
"I love you, kid."
"I love you too, Mom." I mumbled before drifting off.

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I hope you liked it!