♡︎ Matt Sturniolo Centric One-Shots ♡︎

Suicide Note {Nick & Matt}

In retrospect Nick shouldn't have found it, he knows that. Matt's room always had been a bit of an unstable subject. So it wasn't often that anyone was allowed to be in it without Matt being there as well.

Maybe that's why It wasn't all that surprising that he'd missed something so dire. Especially since his brother didn't let anyone in it when Matt wasn't around. He'd just never thought that secrecy had been over such an important issue. Had always figured the younger just liked his privacy as they all did.

Originally if Nick were being totally and completely honest, he hadn't even meant to come across it. In fact, a part of Nick thinks he would've been a lot happier had he not. Had he stayed oblivious.

It was too late to turn back now. Too late to hope that Nick's oblivity wouldn't run out. Because he'd found something in Matt's room. And now he can't just pretend he hadn't.

______

He'd been snooping through Matt's room for a shirt of all things, figuring Matt had taken it. They ended up swapping clothes often enough that it wasn't that far-fetched to assume one of his brothers had taken it.

With purpose, he'd walked into Matt's room. That earlier objective momentarily was forgotten as Nicolas's cerulean-colored eyes traveled elsewhere in his brother's room. Coming to a stop on one thing that wasn't normally there. At the thought, he scrutinized Matt's end table. Curiosity overwhelmed him immediately at the poorly hidden paper practically gleaming up at him. He doesn't remember that ever being there before.

It's new then. Or new to him at least.

The singular slip of paper, a note he realized upon further inspection was strewn across Matt's end table. It's all but seeming to be glinting mischievously at him. Begging him to -

No, he can't read it. Or that wasn't right. He could read it but knows he shouldn't. It's an invasion of privacy and Nick's well aware of the fact. After all, his brother isn't even home to tell him not to.

But he's so curious, there'd been nothing interesting in this room as of yet. His shirt still hadn't been found and was nearly forgotten at this point. And fuck is the curiosity torturing him.

He'd have time to feel guilty later and Nick knows he shouldn't read it. But Matt isn't here, therefore his brother can't get mad at him.

And Nick shouldn't be here, shouldn't be in his younger brother's room grasping the paper so gently in his hands. He knows it's an invasion of privacy that he is.

But he is here. He's here grasping at what appears to be a note. Nobody has stopped him yet from reading this and nobody explicitly told him that he couldn't. As far as Nick's concerned it's harmless.

Mind made up, he begins reading. His eyes widening as he processes the words. The first thing that Nick realizes as he skims the note is that this is anything but harmless.

It was a fucking suicide note. His baby brother had a suicide note written up. One that'd been sitting here for who knows how long.

Nicolas can't breathe. No matter how much air floods in through his nose and mouth it just doesn't seem like enough. Doesn't suffice.

Not when he'd just found out that Matt wanted to die.

_______

Matt doesn't pick up his call. Nick doesn't for the life of him know what to do. Can only acknowledge the absolute need he feels when it comes to finding Matt. He isn't letting Matt go like this,