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THAT NEXT MORNING, it was me and jeremiah downstairs, we were eating cereal.
last night, after the party, belly had told me she caught steven and taylor making out, belly was pissed, but i was a little more understanding about the whole situation.
i told belly that she should just talk it out with taylor, they're best friends, they shouldn't just stop being friends over this fight.
"uh, do you wanna go on a muffin run?" i asked jeremiah, breaking the silence. "i need to get out of the house."
he smiled at me. "i'm always down for a muffin run." jeremiah was always there when i needed him. "uh, i'm gonna make a to go cup, do you mind getting the keys from conrad's room?"
"yeah, sure." i got up from my seat. "is he home?"
"no, he spent the night at nicole's." jeremiah responded.
of course he did.
"do you know where he keeps the keys?"
"they should be in his desk."
i walked into conrad's room, looking around. i always liked how he decorated his room, all the nights i used to spend in his room, just talking.
i went to the desk, opening the drawers, moving some stuff out of the way. i had unfortunately found some of his condoms and made a disgusted face at them.
i had found something, that looked out of the ordinary, a small black box.
usually i'm not the type to eavesdrop, but i was curious, i opened the box, and it was the necklace he had given me, when i was fifteen, two summers ago.
it was a silver necklace with a small moon. worn it, and gave me a matching necklace of the sun, because he always said i was the sun to his moon. i told him it was cheesy, but deep down, it meant a lot.
he meant a lot to me.
i stared at the necklace, all the flashbacks coming back to me.
i snapped out of whatever i was thinking, putting the necklace back in the box, and finding the keys.
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jeremiah was driving, while i looked out of the window, looking at the blue sky, the grass looked greener today than usual, or maybe i just don't pay attention enough.
i kept thinking about the necklace i found in conrad's room, having too many memories flood back into my head.
i noticed jeremiah kept sneaking in a few glances at me, he probably knew something was up.
"you good?" jeremiah asked, a small smile on his face.
"yeah." i stopped looking out the window, sitting up straight in the car seat. "i just don't get conrad this summer."
"..why?" he asked, a little confused. "is it because he forgot belly's birthday?"
"no." i sighed. i realized just now, i never really told him everything that happened with me and conrad in the past, i never really told anyone. "it's because he's been acting weird since the first day that i got here."
"yeah, trust me, he's been weird for months. just forget about him." jeremiah tried cheering me up, occasionally glancing from the road, to my face.
"nicole really likes conrad." i ranted. "and- if he doesn't like her, then, that's just messed up."
jeremiah sighed, looking at the road. "what?" i asked him.
"nothing. just, something tells me that this isn't just about how he's been acting this summer." jeremiah speculated.
my cheeks heated up. i started thinking. i wasn't all that mad conrad possibly wasn't that into nicole, i was mad because he had moved on.
i was selfish, i know. because everything was my fault in the first place, so was it really his fault if he moved on?
i shook my head and scoffed. "why are you so grumpy, huh? did things not go well with luke last night?" i teased.
"stop." he laughed. "actually, things went really well last night. wanna hear details?"
i started to laugh and shake my head. "you sure?" he asked, a grin on his face.
i hit his arm. "shut up!" i looked back out of the window.
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after hanging with jeremiah, i used laurel's car to drive to the bus stop with belly, belly was keen on not talking to taylor, since the kiss with steven.
i sat in the car with her. "you're not gonna say goodbye to taylor?" i asked.
belly didn't look at me. "i don't feel like it."
"well, she's your best friend. and she came out here on your birthday. because she loves you." i tried to convince belly.
"fine." belly grumbled, unbuckling her seatbelt, and opening the door.
a few minutes later, belly went back in the car. "you know, people will come and go, but a best friend is once in a lifetime." i tried to tell belly.
"we have to hold tight to our friendships, because we never know what the future will hold." i told belly this, because i didn't want her to make the same mistakes as me.
i had already made the mistake of ruining a friendship before, with conrad, and i didn't want it to happen again.
TWO SUMMERS AGO
"i don't wanna avoid this situation forever." i finally spoke up.
me and conrad were sitting on the roof, in awkward silence. i decided it was finally time for me to talk, after i had told him i needed some space to think.
he looked into my eyes, to let me know he was listening to me.
"i really like you. i really do, but belly-" i stopped talking, and looked down. "i don't wanna hurt her. she's really important to me. maybe we should just be friends."
"i can't just be friends with you, y/n." he continued to look into my eyes. i wanted to tell him that i couldn't do this, that it's wrong of me.
but how could i ever shut him down? instead, i just stared at him for a few seconds, then just kissed him, catching him by surprise, but kissing back.
