Wish I Could Be Someone Else

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A/N: thanks to athenapollo again for helping me

Alex's POV

I had seemed to lose my confidence as the day went on. I had a short burst of confidence, but now it has turned into anxiety. I was scared of what Jack though of me. Though I would never say it out loud, I was scared. I was scared to be with Jack. I was scared that he would leave me. I was scared that I would get too attached and then he'd hurt me in some way. I was scared that I might be dreaming. I mean, I was in the park, with Jack.

Jack stared at me. Oh gosh, he must be so disappointed. What am I doing wrong? But then, he chuckled , and said, "It's so... weird, I mean, good weird, not bad weird... It's just... I never imagined that we would actually be out on a date or anything

I laughed nervously, "Agreed. It's kind of.. unexpected?"

He sat down and looked up at me, waiting for me to do the same. He looked so relaxed and peaceful, I was almost jealous of him because of that.

I sat down, surprisingly close to him. He took my hand softly, looked at me and said, "Im so happy that you're mine... I'm not worthy for a minute of your time... I'm just not.. You're so kind and-"

Words slipped out of my mouth before I knew what I was doing, "Do you even hear what you're saying? I'm the one who-"

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am." Stubbornness creeping into my voice.

"Then we both are.", he said, rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. "Alex, look at me".

I stared at him while he continued, "You're worth it. You're worth everything. You have to know that, right now, I'm so lucky to even be near you, I can't even get it through my head that we're... you know... dating and all. I wanna let you know that I love you so much. I don't ever want to live without you. I'm never gonna let you go," he paused.

I cut him off before he got the chance to continue, "Do you really mean that?"

He smiled and said, "Yes, Alex. I do mean it because I care about you so much. And I know I've been terrible in the past, but now I want to prove to you that I am a good person. I know I fucked up before, but honestly Alex, you're doing something to my head. I can't stop thinking about you. You're always what I think about and when Im around you I just feel like I can't function or do anything right because I want to make you happy..... Wow did I actually say all that out loud?"

"Yes you did...", I laughed slightly, trying to hide my blush.

"You're so cute when you blush", he whispered, looking down at the grass.

It was the perfect moment.

Jack stood up and pulled me up with him. He started walking, dragging me along with him.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I'm gonna show you one of my favorite places to go." He said. This hadn't failed to raise my anxiety.

We walked for a while. I was starting to get slightly tired when I saw a lake. When we got closer to it Jack stopped walking. "This has been my favorite place to come since eight grade." Just about the time he stopped being my friend. Stop, Alex. That won't help at all.

I looked at the surroundings. It was beautiful. I could understand why he would love it there.

I looked back over at Jack. He was taking off his pants and shirt. Once he was in his boxers he started walking toward the lake. He turned towards me quickly, "Well...? Are you coming or...?" He raised his eyebrow.

I grinned like a fool and nodded. I haven't been this happy in a long time.

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