Too Little, Too Late

36

Ibrahim Fahad was beautiful when he slept. Ayra always acknowledged that fact each time she woke up before he did on the nights and afternoons they slept in the same bed.

Unlike those times, there were no butterflies in her belly. A hollow space was what stayed in her chest and she no longer felt honoured to be blessed with the beauty of his sleeping face; not when Bella and the others had seen it more times than she'd done.

She watched him sleep for a minute longer, once more committing everything to memory; his skin that was the shade of smooth honey, his dishevelled curls, his full brows that furrowed slightly and relaxed at intervals, his long lashes, his straight nose, his lips, and his stubble-beard that was as neatly kept as it always was.

With a silent sigh, she gently pulled away from him. Putting a pillow underneath his arm where she'd been all morning, she got off the bed. She picked her nightdress from the ottoman at the foot of the bed and left the room. She walked past the family lounge where their prayer mats were still folded from Fajr and went straight to her room. She dumped the nightdress in the laundry basket in her bathroom and stepped into the shower area.

The water was warm against her skin and she took her time performing ghusl. The hollowness in her chest didn't ease up and she didn't try to force it. She thought back to the previous night; Ibrahim crying until he had no more tears to shed and then him taking her up to his room. He'd kissed her so tenderly and little by little, their clothes had come off and he'd made love to her. Although she'd told herself it was just sex, she wasn't going to deny it'd been beautiful and extremely gentle; as though he'd break them both if he applied even the littlest pressure. If things had been different, she would have loved every bit of it but things weren't different and when it had ended, the first thought she'd had – as he held her against him – was whether he'd had such tender moments with Bella and if he thought about Bella as he held her in his bed.

She'd stayed the night as he'd refused to let her go and after Fajr, they'd repeated the night's events. She'd been unable to fall asleep after that and she didn't have it in her to stay there until he woke up from sleep. Not with how hollow she felt as she stared at him after loving him so much for so many years.

Turning off the shower, she stepped out of the shower area and grabbed a towel from the rack. Once she'd patted her skin dry, she brushed her teeth and then exited the bathroom. On her way to the walk-in, she grabbed her phone and met messages from Ibtihaj. Stepping into the walk-in, she switched on the lights and dialled her best friend's line. It was answered almost immediately.

"Ayra, tell me if you're well or if you want me to come over and murder those people starting from Ibrahim Fahad."

Ayra had to laugh. She stopped at the vanity, put the call on speaker mode, dropped the phone on the top of the dresser and then picked up her bottle of lotion. "I'm well. There's no need to come over and murder them, not when you'd be murdering them in your head this night."

Ibtihaj hissed. "I was kind of hoping you would ask me to come. I woke up wanting to slap someone this morning."

"Sorry to disappoint."

"Abeg forget that one first." There was slight ruffling. "Anyways, how far? I didn't hear back from you last night and I didn't want to imagine what was going on."

Ayra applied lotion generously to her arms and then moved to her middle. "Last night was a lot honestly."

"Ah, wetin happen?"

"Nothing bad." She bent to rub her legs. "I came home before he did actually and it was easier to act around him. Thank you for the acting lessons. They're paying off."