The Tanners

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So allow me to introduce my family! Let me start off with my beloved husband: Tony Tanner. Tony and I have been married for fifteen years now, and it's... it's been a ride, really! We've had our ups, we've had our downs, we've had our all arounds, but you know! It's been good, it's been good! Tony's an... he's an... uh...

"Tony?" I asked him. "Remind me what your job is again?"

"Software engineer," he replied, not looking up from his laptop.

Right, my husband is a software engineer! It earns him some pretty good money, all told! I'm not wild about the fact that his eyes are pretty much glued to his computers most of the time, but you know, whatever earns the bacon!

...right...

So! Let's go upstairs so I can introduce my lovely daughter, Shawna Tanner! Brilliant girl; she was the city's Spelling Bee champ from fourth to seventh grade! She's also a Straight A student at her high school!

"...and then she said 'No way!'" I heard Shawna speak into her phone. "And I was like 'yeah!' And then she... MOM! WOULD YOU STOP LISTENING IN!? THIS IS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION!"

"Sorry!" I said as I hurriedly closed the door to my daughter's room. I wonder who she was talking to?

Anyway, yeah, my baby girl is fourteen years old already, so she's at THAT stage in life when she starts acting like she's an adult, so she expects to be treated like one. Ahhh, but give her any adult responsibilities, and she's suddenly crying out for mommy and daddy!

Now, let me introduce to you my son, Kyle Tanner! Kyle is a VERY smart boy, too! Top of his class, just like his Mommy was when she was his age! And when he's not hitting those books and studying hard, he's... uh...

"Son, what is it you do on your Nintendo?" I asked.

"Mom, it's an Xbox One!" He yelled. "And I'm destroying noobs on Counter Strike!"

Right! He's doing... that!

And THAT'S my family! Well, the one I live with, anyway! I also have my mom and my cousin, and... and yeah! That's it! That's the family that loves and adores me!

"Chrissy!" I heard Tony yell from below. "Coffee!"

I hurried downstairs to make my darling husband who loves me his coffee. He likes that instant coffee you can find in supermarkets; I prefer something freshly brewed. Anyway, I brew him a cup, give it to him, and he guzzles it down without so much as a glance away from his laptop.

"Thanks," he said as he put the empty cup beside him. I took it to wash it in the sink. I looked at the time; I should be making some dinner!

"What do you guys want for dinner?" I asked loud enough for everyone to hear me.

"Nothing for me," said Tony. "I'll make myself a sandwich or something once this is done."

"Mom, I'm heading over to Kathy's for dinner!" Said Shawna as she rushed out the door. "I'll be back by eight!"

"I'm not hungry!" Said Kyle, and I could tell he was still on that Nintendo of his.

"Sooo, no food for anyone but me?" I asked, and got no answer. "OK..."

I debated making myself a sandwich or something, but, you know, it's whatever. I honestly lost my appetite. I WOULD watch TV, but Tony doesn't like it when I watch TV in the living room while he's working, so I decided to just head up to our bedroom and watch Netflix or something on my tablet. I consider just taking off my clothes and putting on my PJ's, but it's not even six in the afternoon yet.

As I climbed into bed, I noticed my phone vibrated. I had a new text message from Angela! I opened it, and it read "Can we meet up for dinner tonight?"

I wrote back "sure!" Put on my shoes, grabbed my purse, and just rushed out the door!

"Tony, I'm meeting a friend for dinner! Taking the car!" I said as I grabbed the keys.

I drove down to the place Angela texted me; the local Olive Garden. I went in, and saw her sitting by herself, eagerly waving at me! I waved back and rushed to sit beside her!

"Hey," she began, and I swear she was blushing! "I'm glad you came; I know it's short notice, but-"

"You kidding? You saved me from an evening of Netflix and a sandwich for dinner!" I giggled. "Honestly, my family's just the WORST sometimes!"

"Family?" She asked, and her smile seemed to be disappearing.

"Yeah," I sighed, feeling like I had messed up for some stupid reason. "You married?"

"Single, you?" She asked.

"Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "But his computer gets more attention than I do, if you catch my drift."

"Oh?" She asked, looking surprised.

"Yeah," I said, and I started to get the feeling this was word vomit. Word vomit is when you keep on talking when you should definitely stop. "He works with computers, you see. Sun up to sun down, he's on the computer. On the weekends, he's on that computer. He barely looks at me, hardly ever acknowledges me, but he sure knows who to call for a cup of coffee! Honestly..."

"Yeesh," Angela said, wincing. "Men, am I right?"

"Take this advice: never get married," I said to her as I grabbed my glass of water. "Men bring nothing but headaches."

"I wouldn't know," she said, grinning. "I'm not into men at all."

"Women only?" I asked, and she nodded. "Shoot, I wish that was me."

"It's no cakewalk," she said, sighing. "Sometimes the dating pool is dry as as a bone, and you get so thirsty you start hyperventilating at the idea that someone could actually like you back! It's like middle school all over again!"

"Shoot," I said as I picked up the menu. "I guess a shallow dating pool explains why you're single; a breath taking woman like you, I'd assume you had to beat the ladies off with a stick!"

"Oh, I wish!" She giggled, and it sounded so cute when she did that! "You really think I'm breathtaking?"

"Yeah!" I answered without hesitation. "I mean, look at you; you're like a work of art come to life!"

"Oh, oh my," she said, blushing like crazy, which made ME blush like crazy, which... yeah, you get the idea. "You're, uh, quite the beauty, yourself."

The two of us had our dinner, and we spent hours upon hours just chatting and getting to know one another better. Angela, or Angie as she liked to be called, was a bodybuilder and a personal trainer at the local gym. She's the same age as me, and has dated half the lesbian population of our town.

Angie was so different from all the women I've met in my life; she laughed freely, she smiled sincerely, and she seemed so genuine in every word she spoke and everything she did. It made me want to spend more time with her!

"Hey," I said as we got up to leave, as the restaurant was closing. "You, uh, you wanna do something sometime?"

"Well," she looked deep in thought, then smiled and said "Sure! I like hanging with you!"

"Me too!" I said, smiling to her. "You're a fun person!"

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