Dreamscape

Chapter 8: Thirty-six Days | Chris

(Best friends or Lovers)
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It's close to midnight now, as my body began settling from the long days and sleepless nights. Every night, I'd lay awake with no energy or drive to do anything but worry. Truth be told, it was a tiresome, repetition, of thoughts that my sadness led me to. And there was not much I could do about it, but to sulk.

Sure, Luke was here, and as my best friend, he wouldn't mind sitting and talking with me about my grief; but I couldn't let him see me fall apart again. I've never cried in front of him until 2 weeks ago, nor do I wish to do it again because his pity for me was too much.

Within the moment, I couldn't tell if he was trying to make me feel better or trying to make a move on me. That day, I was overwhelmed with emotion, that I could not hide from him. The way he comforted me in that moment was by holding me and squeezing my leg. His touch was firm; and groped my upper thigh. Then he rubbed my leg gently, near my crotch.

I could not tell his intentions and was unsure to say anything, but either way I can't let that happen again.

Today I tried to keep my mind occupied from his advances and from thinking about my lost love, Aliya- but it's left me exhausted. I tried eating, I tried to read books, I even worked out, I meditated, and I sat with Luke for a couple of hours to help with a project!

Once finishing the project, he sat and ate dinner in the living room. I turned on a classic basketball league game to watch. I did all of this to keep my mind from rummaging through the fake realities of, 'what if's'!  Then he left me to go sleep and now I had to deal with my restless mind.

I am in the living room alone now, staring at the ceiling fan.

Hearing its whoosh as it spins.

Then the rumbling of my refrigerator from my kitchen.

Even the talking of my neighbors, as they walk the halls of my luxury apartment building.

It's the quietness I so desperately need, to soothe me.

My mind began drifting into a sleep-like delirium, and my body sinks into my couch. My eye's close, and momentarily in the black void of my eyelids, I can see a picture forming. This wasn't reality but it's close enough and, in the distance, I see something! Something is coming to me in the dark distance of my eye lids.

It looks to be a woman, wearing a dress. As she came closer, her surroundings became a familiar place. Once everything came into view, I'm standing in front of the diner that I took Alyia to for our first date. And just like that, Alyia is beside me, as beautiful as ever!

"Shut up!" I imagine her saying to me with a witty smirk.

"No." I lift her head, looking at her lips, "Just listen, Alyia."

We've had this conversation before, but she was actually mad at me then. But this is a dream, and I could mold it's playbook.

" Why?!" I imagine her cutting me off, while looking me in the eyes, " Please tell me why the fuck I have to listen to you? When all you're going to do is lie?"

I can't take the temptation anymore and I kiss her precious, soft, plump lips and she begins to melt into mine, almost forgetting why she was 'playing' upset with me, as we 'play' argue.

"I'm not lying to you." I pull back from the sudden kiss, " Don't make assumptions like that about me, When I've done nothing wrong."

"Fuck you!" I imagine her looking from my lips to my glistering eyes, smiling ever so slightly, " You think that's all it takes for me to forgive you? "