December 31, 2023
Boy do I have so much tea to spilll.
Jared kissed me. I was so nervous and excited. It made me realize that my heart will never change. It's so soft, and I can get so attached. It's been fun to fantasize about Jared and day dream about days waking up next to him. Yet, when he was going in for a kiss, I remembered how he told me he doesn't date.
I kissed him anyways. He had scruff, it was hot... All the other kisses I've had were from boys. From the twins, Kameron and Klark I kissed in high school, to my ex Aaron and my most recent break up Gene, Jared full on man kissed me. I was so nervous and intimidated. I was scared I didn't have enough experience or lip strength. The second I felt his scruff against my cheek, I practically melted. I forgot to even do anything with my lips. He probably thinks I am such a bad kisser. SON OF A BITCH. I was so out of my depth. Usually I'm the smartest person in the room. Not with Jared, that man knows things.
From how to kiss, to welding, to fixing cars, to building rollercoasters, raising children, nautical terms, mathematics, and god knows what else. The brain on this man is insane. Now I'm wondering if his other hanging brain is insane too. I had the chance to fuck him, but I totally chickened out.
Let's back up.
I started a debate with him. I challenged his faith in reality and he surprisingly challenged my faith in god. I was not expecting such thoughtful arguments. We spent hours debating the concept of religion and if it's better to only face facts. From the psychological benefits to the practical application of faith. Then back to how facts can only take someone so far, feeling is what makes life worth living. I was so in tune with that conversation and follwed his every word. I stared into his face and felt what it was like to I was about 6 white claws deep when the topic stubbled onto the fact I don't think I can have children.
The next day Amber invited me to go to Knott's Berry Farm, I suggested December 30, 2023 and she agreed. It ended up raining all day and I suggested the following day after Jared texted me. I wanted to go to his house. I wanted to hang out and talk more. We have such interesting and invigorating conversations.
Saturday 12:28pm
J: I have a cooler and fridge full of beers and claws
M: that's sounds fun but i think my dad is too tired today haha
J: well and your trader ass is going to knotts
M: that was moved to tomorrow haha
J: Oh. Haha
J: He said he was too tired to do anything and you were leaving.
J: Guess Ill drink alone 🥲🥲
M: Yeah amber and i just talked and decided since it was raining that we should go tomorrow instead
J:Good idea
M: convince my lazy dad to go cuz im down 😂😂 but he is kinda the warden
J: Ok ill try
J: Leave his ass there. Lol 🤣🤣🤣
M: let me ask him hahah maybe he's cool with that
J: Amber is supposed to be making frozen peach alcohol drinks
J: Wait
J: We need a good story
J: Like cause all 100 claws are at my house
M: those sound so good haha
J: Or cause amber is coming over and want to meet there
J: I can tell amber to come over. 🤦♂️🤦♂️
YOU ARE READING
I'm Gonna Write a Book
HumorI've seen some shit and remembering how I handled hard things isn't a bad idea. People can learn what not to do, or by some miracle find a nugget of wisdom in my chaos. Consider this a guilt free place to be nosey and feel better about your own life.
