Help Me Heal

Chapter 20

As the day wore on, Hank had gravitated towards the idea of taking his full pension from Chicago PD and leaving to set up his own private detective service. There were many reasons pushing him in that direction.

First was anger at the good-for-nothing sons of bitches higher up in the department who had always had it in for him. But anger alone wouldn't make him walk away. Frankly, in most circumstances it would have the opposite effect. Staying on and fighting them would be his usual method. However, reason number two was also in play.

Erin was now back in his life. It was possible that they were going to work towards becoming closer than they had been in many years. Now that the thought was in his head, he very much wanted that. He loved Erin as if she was his own daughter. What he hadn't been good at was showing her that. Getting out of CPD would possibly give them more time to spend together. Plus there was the fact that if he did start the detective service Erin would be the first person he would ask to work for him. A further consideration was that, assuming the company proved to be a success, it would be something to leave to Erin. At his time of life, that was an important consideration. In all, Erin was a major motivation towards leaving CPD and going it alone. Whether she would see things the same way when he told her everything remained to be seen.

Then there was Kalinda. She was now his partner. They had made that commitment to each other. It was therefore pretty much inevitable that at some point, somehow, news would reach the same higher-ups who were looking to force him out of his job that he had gotten into a relationship with a subordinate. They would find a way to fire him for that, he had no doubt. He could see it all playing out in his mind already. Why give them the satisfaction when he could leave with his pride, his legacy and his pension intact? Although he was aware that she might not accept, he could offer a job with his new company to Kalinda also. If she did join and so did Erin, his new venture would have an outstanding line-up of experienced operatives.

It wasn't until Erin's delicious steak dinner had been polished off that Hank brought up the big subject of the day. Over the meal, they had simply chatted, enjoying each other's company. They hadn't talked about their desire to work on their relationship, however there had been a definite change in the atmosphere between them. There had been genuine warmth to it for the first time since her return, which they had both felt, and it had made them both happy.

Hank leaned back in his chair at the dining table, relaxing despite what he was about to say. "So, I might be on the way out of CPD."

"Oh, really?" Erin asked, grinning. She clearly expected some kind of punch line.

"Seriously," he said. "The Deputy-Super came to see me today. Said she's being pressured from above to get rid of me. Gave me some crap about losing control of Intelligence, being left behind by the changing world of policing, and so on."

"What a bitch!" Erin cried, outraged.

Hank waved that off. "It's not her fault. Sam's someone I get along with okay actually. She came to warn me as a courtesy and to have a word in my ear about considering taking advantage of the mayor's new scheme that allows police employees over fifty-five to leave with their full pension. They want to cut police numbers. Can you believe that with the state this city is in?"

Erin stared at him. "You're not going to do that, are you? What would you do if you left? Policing is what drives you, Hank."

Here we go, Hank thought, preparing to deliver something of a sales pitch. "An idea I've had for a long time is to start a private detective service. Al and I were looking at it before he was killed. Now, everything seems to be aligning to make this the right time to go after it. I can take my CPD pension with no questions asked. The problem of me dating Kalinda while being her superior would instantly disappear before anyone gets any shit on them for it. And, possibly most importantly, you came back. I figure there's nobody I'd rather have come on this new journey with me than you. It could be kind of a father-daughter operation."

"Kind of?" Erin asked quietly.

Hank looked her in the eyes. "Depends if you want me to call you my daughter. And if you want to call me dad. You have been my daughter for many years, but we've never used those words."

Erin swallowed hard, clearly emotional. "It feels weird. Good weird. I'll need some time to get used to it."

"Time we've got," Hank said, trying to calm her. "So, how about the idea? I can't give you a job with Intelligence, but I could give you a job with me. Assuming we make a success of the company it would be yours one day, naturally."

Erin shook her head and puffed out her cheeks. "This is a lot, Hank. Sorry, it comes naturally to call you that. That'll take time to change. I've got to admit seeing you excited for this idea is infectious. Also, I hated working for the FBI. Hated it. Policing is going in the wrong direction too. This is why we're even having this conversation. A competent police department wouldn't consider firing someone like you. You know what? Fuck it. Let's do it."

"Yeah?" Hank asked, raising his eyebrows. "You're in?"

"I'm in. Let's do it. One thing? Will you at least consider giving Jay a job when he comes back? Please?"

It was obvious how much getting to work with Jay again meant to her, her questionable antics around Hailey's situation had already proven that. Hank decided fighting her on the Jay issue was a battle it was best not to have for the sake of everyone involved.

"Here's what I'll do, Erin. I've got the money to get this venture off the ground. I've got contacts to get us work. If we get big enough to need Jay, I'll promise to offer him a job. There's a condition of my own though."

"Alright," Erin said openly.

"I'm going to ask Kalinda to come in from day one. It'll be the three of us, if she accepts. So far she knows nothing about this, so I have no idea if she'll want in or not. But if she does, as I said, it'll be the three of us to begin with. Jay would be next in line if we need another body. That a problem for you?"

Erin chewed that over for a moment. "Believe it or not, I feel like I quite like Kalinda. You're putting the money in, you're bringing the contacts, I think it's fair that you get to hire Kalinda if she wants the job. She's obviously good or you wouldn't have picked her for Intelligence."

"I think we've got a plan then," Hank said. It occurred to him how revitalised he felt. Firstly because of Kalinda coming into his life, and now even more so because of a new challenge to sink his teeth into. This was what people meant when they said a new lease on life.

"I think we do," Erin said excitedly. "When are you going to take the retirement option from CPD?"

"What I'm thinking is it might be best to take the ripping off the band-aid approach and get out before I have a chance to change my mind."

There had been some humour in his comment, and Erin smiled. "Are you going to go over to see Kalinda? You guys have a lot to talk about."

He shook his head. "No. That conversation can happen tomorrow. I told you this evening is our time. Let's have a drink." He meant have a drink in the living room, which she understood. They both got up from the table.

"That's a good idea. We are celebrating after all. Before that, can I get a hug?"

"Of course." Hank spread his arms and embraced Erin when she walked towards him. For a moment, they simply enjoyed holding each other.

"I'm... happy," Erin said, apparently finding it tough to believe.

Hank gave her a gentle kiss on the top of her head. "Me too."

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A/N: Thank you to everyone who left their thoughts on the previous chapter. It was very interesting to see people wanting both decisions from Hank.

Hank and Erin will be starting a private detective service! He opted to jump before he was pushed from CPD, and to get into what he sees as potentially a family business. Do you think Kalinda will agree to join?