Help Me Heal

Chapter 39

In the fifteen minutes it took Kalinda to arrive, Hank had gotten over the worst of his upsetting moment. On his way to open the door, he decided that he didn't want to talk about it any more. Instead, he would like to try and enjoy spending the evening with her and Erin.

He opened the door, finding Kalinda standing there with a look of concern in her face. Just seeing her lifted Hank's spirits.

"Hello. How are you?" she asked, stepping into the house and immediately giving him a hug.

"Hey. I'm okay now. Glad you're here though." He gave her a gentle kiss on top of her head and returned her embrace in kind.

"Are you really okay though? Don't just say that."

"No, I am," he assured her. "As I said on the phone, I had the thought come to me that I'm starting to move on from Camille and it upset me. I've calmed down now."

"I'm sorry," Kalinda said as they pulled apart. She shoved the front door closed, looking a bit awkward. It was a tricky situation, Hank realised. He was talking to his current partner about being with her making him feel bad for moving on from his ex. It was only natural that Kalinda would feel awkward and not know what to say in that situation. Plus he knew that she lacked some self-confidence in their relationship because of how her ex had treated her. She was likely worried that she couldn't live up to Camille in his eyes. But she had hurried to him when she had found out he was upset, and that mattered more than a few words could do.

He felt somewhat awkward himself too. All this talk about himself and his own emotions did not come naturally to him. That was putting it mildly. He was used to bottling his feelings up inside, not expressing them to another person. That was something he was going to have to improve on as his relationship with Kalinda progressed. It would start to happen naturally, he hoped.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for. That's not what this is about at all. Moving on from someone you loved and lost is a hard, long process. This is the next step towards doing that. I want to move on with you because I love you."

As she looked up at him, Hank could tell that meant a lot to her. Her eyes were very expressive, and he was good at reading them by now. "I love you too, Hank. I, uh, don't really know what to say right now. Don't know how to help you move on, or if you want my help with it."

"I think maybe one day I'd like to talk to you more about Camille. This is all difficult for me too. Is asking the woman I love now to talk to me about the woman I loved in the past wrong?"

Kalinda seemed to find some confidence, perhaps convinced that she wasn't going to be somehow rejected or found wanting. "I'd like to have that conversation with you, whenever you're ready to have it. Since you said one day, I take it you're not thinking about tonight?"

He shook his head. "No. Erin's here. I'd like the three of us to have dinner and watch some TV afterwards. A simple, good time. Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay. It sounds nice. Just know, Hank, that anything you want to talk about, you can always open up to me. Always."

"And you can with me too. Let me take your jacket."

Kalinda took off her leather jacket, and Hank hung it up for her. The short break in conversation served as an opportunity to change subject, which Hank was glad to take.

"Go through to the kitchen," he said. "I think Erin's started cooking something for dinner."

Hank followed Kalinda into the kitchen. Sure enough, Erin was standing at the cooker.

"Hello, Erin," Kalinda said warmly.

"Kalinda! Hi. I'm afraid it's burgers and fries for dinner. We've not got much in. Planned on doing a shop tomorrow."

"A burger sounds good to me," Kalinda said.

Hank walked over to her and put an arm around her waist. Simply doing that made him happy.

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"How are things with you and Jay?" Kalinda asked. The trio were at the dining table, eating the simple but enjoyable meal that Erin had prepared.

"Really good," Erin took obvious pleasure in saying. "We're in that special place when you're settling into a relationship with someone you know you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you know they feel the same way about you."

"That's wonderful," Kalinda gushed happily.

"It is," Hank agreed with a little less enthusiasm. He was still disgruntled about the way Jay had treated Hailey. It was going to take him some time to fully get past that.

"I get the impression you guys know the feeling I'm talking about," Erin said.

Hank looked at Kalinda, who was just taking a bite from her burger. As he looked at her, she had an unfortunate food mishap. She had added ketchup to her burger, and somehow some of it managed to squirt out of the burger onto her chin. Hank burst out laughing instantly, as did Kalinda, followed by Erin.

"Bloody hell. The state of me," Kalinda said, giggling. Hank was quick to pick up a napkin and help her out. As he wiped her chin, they were looking each other in the eyes. As well as humour, there was intense love in hers, and he hoped she saw the same in his.

"I love him very much, and yes I do hope we spend the rest of our lives together," Kalinda said, answering Erin but looking at Hank. It was in that moment that he decided to mentally commit to convincing her to move in with him as soon as she could get out of her apartment, and to proposing to her pretty soon after that.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promised her.

"Aww, you guys," Erin putting a hand over her heart to indicate how adorable she found the moment.

"We were talking about you and Jay," Kalinda remembered, getting things back on track. "Any progress on getting a place together?"

"We're looking. There's not much out there right now, and what is out there is ridiculously overpriced. The amounts people are demanding for rent ought to be illegal."

Kalinda grimaced in sympathy. "I hope something comes up for you soon."

"Thanks. Not living with each other sucks, as does struggling to see each other as much as we'd like because of the security work Jay's got. The main thing is we're together though. We're happy."

An idea came to Hank. He knew Erin would appreciate it. It would show he was making an effort to get on better terms with Jay too. "Why don't we all go out somewhere together on Sunday?" he suggested.

"Excellent idea!" Kalinda exclaimed. "I've been meaning to suggest a shopping trip to Erin. We could do that, then dinner afterwards?"

To put it mildly, a shopping trip wasn't exactly what Hank had been thinking of, but he wasn't going to object. The fact that Kalinda wanted to spend time with Erin was a good thing. He should encourage it.

"I'm up for that. Not sure Hank's much of a shopping trip guy though?" Erin said, looking at him for his thoughts on the proposal.

"Wouldn't be my first choice of activity," he admitted. "But I'm happy to do it since it'll be with the two of you, and Jay. Dinner afterwards sounds good."

"Don't think Jay will make the shopping trip, he has work. But he should be able to join us for dinner."

"That's a plan then. A shopping trip for the three of us," Hank said, wondering what he had just gotten himself into.

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A/N: Erin and Jay are looking for somewhere to live together, and Hank has decided to do his best to convince Kalinda to move in with him at the earliest opportunity. Are both relationships going to progress to the next stage soon?

Hank has gotten himself into a shopping trip with Kalinda and Erin. Do you think he'll enjoy himself?