Sour Ferrari

Fifteen

Two more days before I have to go to Monza, I thought, but my travel agent told me that I'd have to leave today for a meet and greet event. I wanted to spend my two days with Lando but I suppose it was okay since I wanted to meet some fans.

I rushed over to my closet and started packing everything up since I went to the bathroom to wake myself up earlier, I finished packing in around 20 minutes then decided to get ready since I had to leave almost immediately. I put on blue flared jeans and a green sweater, I would wear some tracksuit normally but the jeans were comfy and strechy so I felt good in them and that's all that matters. I put on some foundation on my pimples since I got a few these past few days, they're not that bad but I still feel insecure about every pimple I have or have had. Like for example the pimple scars on my back, I can't wear anything backless because of them and I hate it. I hate it so much and I'm trying to find confidence but it's hard. It really is.

I sigh, putting down the brush and foundation into my makeup bag. I carry my makeup and skincare bags and put it in my suitcase, closing the zipper and putting on my jacket. I put on my shoes, take my belongings and leave.

I greet the Uber driver and I take out my phone to quickly text Ilma to tell her about the update.

Vic (Reputation era):
"Soo I may be or may not be on my way to Monza right now"

Ilma (Delusional's Version):
"what."
"WHAT."
"Now. Victoria Donna Diaz, why in the hell would you go to Monza when we have plans for today."
"Do you betray all of your best friends like that???? 💔"

I chuckle at her response. God, I love her.

Vic (Reputation Era):
"FIRST of all, you're my only best friend. Second of all, I KNOWWWW but my agent called me and said I had to leave to the airport right now because of some meet and greet event tommorow. I'm actually so excited but scared."

Ilma (Delusional's Version):
"😒. Whatever."
"But I'm gonna miss youuuuuuu, how am I gonna live without youuuuuuu??"

Vic (Reputation Era):
"Please be for real, you're going to be in Monza in two days. You can survive, I'll send you some chilli chips. Will that help? 😭"

Ilma (Delusional's Version):
"Omg yes. Nvm I'm all good, just send them now."
":)"

I roll my eyes playfully at that, smiling while I text her back.

Vic (Reputation Era):
"You'd sell me for a bag of chips."

Ilma (Delusional's Version):
"So not true!!!!!"
"For a bag of CHILLI chips. You have to be precise."

Vic (Reputation Era):
"LMAOOO, bye idiot I have to go now <3"

Ilma (Delusional's Version):
"LMAO BYEEEE <3"

☆

I was actually almost late for my flight so I didn't have to wait for a long time, I boarded the jet and that's when I realized that I'm supposed to spend 6-8 hours in a private jet with the person that I hate more and more everytime I interact with them.

His eyes dart onto mine as I make my way to the seat in front of him, I put my bags on the other sear next to me and I clench my jaw. I bite the inside of my cheek and cross my legs then finally look up at him. He was already looking well he never looked away since I walked in. He's such a dickhead I wish he could just .. poof out of this universe or something.

He clears his throat and looks down at his feet, is he trying to talk to me. I furrow my eyebrows and take out my phone, deciding to ignore him completely. I won't even look at him this whole flight, he doesn't deserve anything after his actions.

I just wish I knew why he acts like this, like I've always wanted to be friends with him - he was my role model even, but turns out he's just a dickhead who has a big ego. My mind dissapoints me sometimes, seconds ago I'm saying how I hate him and now I'm wondering why he's acting like this. I should just shut it off really, thank God no one can read my mind. Unless???

I look up at him and he's staring into my eyes. Oh God. Okay... if you're reading my mind uh...your hair smells. Yeah, and it's really oily.

He clenches his jaw and I tilt my head slightly. He opens his mouth as if he's about to talk and all I can think about is oh no he really could read my mind all the time. Maybe that's why he hates me?? Anyone would hate me if they read my mind surely.

Okay shut up. This is what I mean by I hate my mind. WHO IN THE EARTH WOULD THINK THAT SOMEONE CAN READ THEIR MIND? Me. Oh God he's talking..

"Uh..Vic?" He mumbles.

His voice does something to me. I don't know what. It must be the hatred inside of me fuiling up while he's talking so soft towards me.

"What?" I say in a stern tone yet my voice seems to be shaky. I fidget with my hands while waiting for his answer, and also to have something to look at instead of his stupid ocean-like eyes.

"I'm sorry." He clears his throat.

I look up at him and furrow my eyes.
"What?" I ask, now genuinely confused. He's apologizing. Did he hit his head?

"I'm sorry...I.. I know that you can't forgive me but I'm just having drinking problems and, it's not good really. It takes over me and I'm a shit person. I'm drunk most of the time, if not I still have some alcohol inside of me and yeah I don't know. You don't have to forgive me." He explains, not looking at me but his feet instead until he stops talking.

I stare at him before sighing and then looking back at my hands, continuing to fidget with them.

"You ruined me Charles." I say.

I don't let him answer me because I continue speaking.
"Like I could understand all of that, but my reputation as a woman in Formula 1 is ruined. Just so I could save yours which is getting worse every day and day, you do realise that I'm representing every woman in motorsports. Every little girl who has dreamed of being a Formula 1 driver, every woman who has been told to get back in the kitchen instead of watching motorsports because that's a man's sport. And you..."

I look up at him, you could see the guilt in my eyes.

"You made me dissapoint them. I barely even started, I had dreams myself you know? Now people think that I'm a whore, that I slept my way in and so many things." I sigh.

He sighs, adjusting himself in his seat. He looks at me for a bit before speaking up.

"I know. I'm sorry, I really am. I just don't know how to stop. I don't know how to stop drinking Vic. It's ruining me and everyone around me" He leans forward and puts his hands on his face, groaning.

That makes me feel bad, I can understand him. My father used to have drinking problems, he'd become the worst person ever when he'd drink. When he wasn't drunk he'd still get some personality traits of his drunk self, it's like he was so angry that he couldn't drink but when he was drunk he would be angry at everything. It'd never end. We had to throw out all of the alcohol from him, even beg every store owner to not let him buy any and we convinced him that there was a virus in every alcohol based product. We acted like that until he realized that it was bad himself and he agreed to never start drinking like that again, I'm really glad he did because he's a great dad now. And I just hate the way people act when they're drunk, it makes me feel so grossed out. But I can see my dad in Charles, maybe I could help him.

"I'm uh, sorry for that. I hope you get better and when you do I can forgive you. Because right now Charles you're acting so... I don't even know what to describe it as." I sigh.

He nods. He knows that he caused too much pain to me so there's no way I'd forgive him that easily. I just hope he gets better honestly, because if there's an actual Charles who doesn't act like the one I know and hate I'd love to meet him.

I smile awkwardly before going on my phone again, I turn airplane mode on and I put my sleeping mask on. I'll sleep for a few hours.