false god- matthew sturniolo

18

𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞

"i need to talk to you," i sat across matt. my chest
felt heavy. "okay, what is it?" he asked. i took a
deep breath. "i got accepted to a college in new
york, im gonna go out with my dad," i looked down
at my lap. i don't dare try to look at him right now.
i didn't want to see the look on his face. he cleared
his throat. "is that what you want?" he put his
index finger under my chin and lifting it up,
making me look at him. my eyes were burning.
"i-um, well yeah but i have you here and not in
new york," a tear fell down my face. "don't let me
hold you back tate," he pressed a soft kiss to my lips.
the tears in my eyes were now falling at a rapid rate.
matt pulled away. "shhhhh," "stop crying tate, it's
okay," he wiped the tears from my face. "why aren't
you angry?" i sniffled. "it's your life, i want you to be
the best possible version of yourself you can be and
if that means moving to new york for college then
that's okay with me, i want you to be happy," he laced
his finger around the palm of my hand. "i love you,
i'm sorry." i rested my head onto his shoulder.
matt rubbed my back. "don't be sorry tate."

"what about us then?" i looked at him with glassy
eyes. "is it over?" "id do anything for us to work
but long distance, how do you feel about it?"
"i think-um," i played with the ring on his index
finger. "i would do anything just to stay with you
matt, i understand if you don't want to do long
distance it can be a lot," i nodded my head.
"it'll make work harder baby i'm sorry," he kissed
my hand. i nodded my head. more tears. "it's okay,
i understand," i gave him a weak smile before
standing up. "where are you going?" he asked.
"i need to start packing, i leave next week," i wiped
the tears off my face. "let me help you," he followed
my actions and stood up. "no matt, it's okay,"
"summer and josh are gonna help me," i shoved my phone into my pocket. "at least let me drop you home tate." he put his hands around my waist. "okay." i whispered before dropping my head against his chest.

"thank you," i gave him a weak smile. he looked
down at me with a sad look on his face. "i really
do love you tate," matt cupped my face and
kissed me softly. a warm tear dropped on my
face from matt. i pulled away slowly and wiped
his tears away. "come here," i wrapped my arms
around his neck, his warm tears were now running
down my neck. "matt," i patted his back. he pulled
away and nodded his head at me. "i love you."
i pressed a kiss to his cheek before turning
around and walking into my house.

saying "i love you." didn't make any of this better.

i took a deep breath after closing the door after me.
this was all happening so fast. i'd gotten the accept-
nance letter 4 days ago. i applied to see if i would get in. matt was wondering why i wasn't going to my classes and i had to lie.

i walked into my room and sat down on my bed.

one of matt's hoodies was layed down beside me.
my eyes began to go burn again. i hate this, i wish
we could make it work. but matt has a career and
other side projects he's working on and i have
college to focus on. i don't need the extra pressure
of thinking about what hes doing, who's he with,
does he miss me? that was way too much pressure.
i knew he would never cheat on me, but it would
hurt too much to be that far away from him and
not be able to have him with me in new york

my phone buzzed from my pocket.

matt🩵
image attachment
took this last night forgot to show you

i tapped onto the notification.

__

matt🩵