TwentySix

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And I never thought to doubt you

I'm better off without you




"What do you mean you quit? You love your job," Eleanor stared at Buck in shock.

"The department won't clear me for duty."

"Why? You passed your recert, I thought everything was done now."

"Apparently they consider me a liability because I'm on blood thinners."

"Well.. I could see why then."

Buck turned toward her, surprise on his face. "I thought you were on my side."

"I am but from a medical standpoint, I can understand why they'd consider that a liability Buck. What about light duty? This way you're still in the firehouse."

"Bobby said maybe in a couple of weeks if everything is good. Maybe."

"Maybe is better than not at all."

"I don't want light duty. I spent the last five months fighting to get back out in the field. That's where I need to be."

"Buck, I understand that. But you can't just give up now after all the work you've put in."

"I don't think it's worth fighting anymore."

"I don't think you really mean that. I think you're hurt and disappointed right now and you need time to think about all this. You can't be ready to give yet, you're not the type to give up. Just think about it, Buck.." Eleanor offered him a smile before walking to the other room. 


****


Eleanor had just finished packing her lunch when there was a knock at the door. She walked over, pecking through the peephole first before opening the door. When she opened it a very smiley Christopher and a very tired-looking Eddie faced her.

"Good morning sunshine," she smiled at Eddie. He smiled back as they followed her into the apartment. 

"Where's Buck?" Eddie looked around as he set Christopher's stuff down on the table.

"Still in bed." Eleanor walked through the house gathering her things for work. 

"How's he doing?"

"Well, considering he hasn't really gotten out of bed and hasn't showered in like four days. I'd say not very good."

"Yikes. Has he talked about any of it yet?"

"Not to me."

"I'm gonna go get him up. Does he know?"

"Nope," Eleanor shook her head. After Eddie headed upstairs Eleanor headed to the living room where Christopher was. 

"Get up," Eddie yelled as he pulled the blanket off of Buck. Buck groaned in response.

"Hey, man. Come on," he pulled the blankets back over him.

Eddie pulled them back again. "It's morning and you have things to do."

"No, I really don't."

"You need to get out of this house and take a walk around the block and get some fresh air."

"Why? What's the point?" Buck got up and walked downstairs trying to get away from Eddie who just followed him. 

"Well, the point is, your life isn't over just because you're not a firefighter."

"Says the firefighter."

"You know that blood clot could've almost killed you but it didn't. you have your whole life ahead of you so why don't you just take it as a win and stop feeling sorry for yourself?"

Buck walked toward the living room, stopping in his tracks as he spotted Eleanor and Christopher. 

"Hey Buck," Christopher smiled.

"Hey, buddy." Buck turned to Eddie. "Uh, what is he doing here?"

"He's hanging out with his Buck today because we have to work," Eleanor smiled at Buck as she walked toward him and Eddie.

"Where's Carla?"

"She went to Morongo. So take him out, have some fun. Maybe you'll learn something. He never feels sorry for himself." Eddie turned to Christopher, "Loe you buddy."

"Love you, Dad. Love you El."

"Love you, Chris," Eleanor russled his hair before heading for the door with Eddie.

"You guys are so messed up," Buck yelled as the door opened and closed.

"was that wrong?" Eleanor asked as they walked to their cars.

"Nah," Eddie shook his head. 

"See you later," Eleanor smiled.

"See ya later," Eddie smiled back.


****


Eleanor decided to call and check in with Buck on her break. Eleanor nestled the phone between her ear and shoulder so that she could unpack her lunch as she waited for Buck to answer.

"Hey, El."

"Hey," she was caught off guard by his happy tone.

"How's work?"

"Uh, good, it's good. How are you and Christopher? Find anything fun to do?"

"Christopher talked me into going to the fair at the pier. He's having fun."

"Aw, you'll have to send me some pictures."

"I will."

"What about you? How're you doing?"

"I'm okay. It's actually kind of nice to get out of the house a little," Buck sighed. "Hey, um, listen. I'm sorry I've been kind of a jerk lately. I've let the stress get the best of me and I've taken it out on you and I shouldn't. I'm sorry."

"I get it, it's okay. I can't say I completely understand what you're going through but I get it."

"I love you, El."

"I love you, Buck. Have fun today and send me lots of pictures."

"I will. Have a good day at work."

Eleanor ended the call and set her phone on the table. She got a couple of text notifications as she ate. Pictures of Christopher playing games and a few pictures of both Buck and Christopher. She was sure Buck would send them to Eddie but just in case he didn't Eleanor forwarded them. 


****


It had been a long, eventful day and Eleanor was ready to go home. She had heard chatter of some big accident today but as she was in the maternity ward she didn't hear much. As she was clocking out for the day she overheard some trauma nurses talking. Her heart dropped as she listened. Eleanor frantically searched for her phone in her bag. She finally found it and dialed Eddie's number as fast as she could. The line just rang and rang with no answer. 

"..Leave a message at the beep.."

"Eddie, I need you to call me back as soon as you can. It's really important. Buck was at the pier with Christopher. I've tried to call him a million times and he's not answering.."

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