𝓢𝓷𝓸𝓸𝔃𝓮

23

she's really not sleeping with me....that really gave me an attitude from deep within. she's been sleeping with the kids. like seriously? here i am lonely in the bed and she's spending her night with the kids.

it's not even the fact that she's just with them, it's like dang, they talked to her the whole time she was gone. i barely talked to her and now she's back, nothing changes. it's not fair!

then she leaves early in the freaking morning. i'm on break this week but i still wake up early for the kids to go to school. she'll be leaving at the same time i wake them up.

we barely even speak a couple words to each other.

this is not fair!

kelly's been coming by though. she keeps me company when the house is empty. lyric and kam have classes and then work of course. the little ones are at school...this was the wrong time for a break.

as i laid in bed watching tv, i huffed. i'm so freaking bored. there's nothing i can do because everything is done. nothings wrong with my hair nor nails at the moment.

i could use a wax. well it's not that i just need it but it'll give me something to do. plus onikas back, i need to be fresh in case she sneaks into our room one of these nights. my case of delusion.

jumping up i grabbed my phone and set an appointment. luckily they had one available for the next hour and a half. so i hurriedly took a shower and put on a sweat suit. only because my cat will need to breathe after this wax, i can't wear anything tight.

as i got in the car i called kelly to let her know where i was going. she said she would come by when i was back. yay. this is the most we've been around each other in years due to us being so busy.

i've been meaning to ask her how she's had so much time on her hands lately. it's unlike kelly.

something's going on.

haaaa, i feel so fresh. i got a full body wax and it felt amazing. shaving was getting exhausting. i've thought about laser hair removal but onika told me no a while back. she said my hair is fine....

whatever.

i pulled up to the house seeing onikas car. that made me excited. getting out the car fast and making my way inside. she was sitting right in the living room but she had work out. i rolled my eyes since she couldn't see me before walking around the couch to her.

she glanced up at me quickly before double taking.

"hey."

"hey. i didn't expect you to be back."

"yea...change of plans last minute."

"oh. it's good to see you home."

she went back to her papers and i sighed walking up to her. i'm not sure if she's getting the vibe that i miss her so fucking much. making this so hard.

"baby." i mumbled so she could look up at me. "i miss you. so much."

"i miss you too baby." she rested her chin in her palm. i moved her arms, straddling her lap.

"no like you don't understand...i miss you." whispering in her face i gave her those eyes. she smiled small at me, holding my waist.

"i understand you just fine."

"so why are we still doing this? i'm going crazy enough, i get it."

"that's the thing. i don't think this break is even working. you only miss me so much because you have ptsd from me leaving before. that's not the feeling i want you to have in my absence. i want you to naturally miss me without a feeling deep down that you'll be betrayed in a way." she frowned. i grabbed her face not really trying to take in what she said.