Rants 🤭

My sister is a bitch.

(Ps: I don't smoke I just liked the screenshot.)
TW!! Mentions of suicidal thoughts and whatnot
So recently I cut my own hair. It looks like shit and I don't know why I did but I did and I hate it but I'm happy sort of?? Not the main point.

My sister who I will not say her name (T) is like 4 years older than me and I feel like she always hated me. We always fight and the only times she's kind of nice to me is when we have a common enemy or she's sorry for something, like hitting or yelling at me. We bond sometimes but I still feel like she hates me and that makes me cry. Like a lot.

I haven't always been the MOST mentally healthy person in the family and I've done some
questionable shit when I felt bad about myself but that's all in the past. And now she makes fun of me for it and sometimes it's just playful and I know she's joking and I laugh with her but other times (like in an argument) I really can't tell if she's joking and her words really hurt my feelings.

And she makes comments about how disgusting my room is or how I look like a piece of shit or that I'm gross and stupid (mostly when we play games together and she's upset) but she says this stuff to our parents right in front of me and I hate that. I hate that I feel like I'm trapped and can't speak up to her, or that I don't have anything bad about her to say back. A lot of the bad stuff she's done our parents haven't found out about and I don't want to put her in that position but she's does that to me and that makes me feel like doing it back but I don't want to.

She told my parents about all the bad stuff I've done, she's a fucking snitching pice of shit who makes me feel like killing myself. I'm writing this so I don't and really I hope no one o know sees this because I act all happy and like I love my self and my sister but really, anytime she's does this shit I feel myself draining in love and in respect for her. Saying I sound like I shouldn't give a shit and just stand up to her, but when I try she just laughs and plays everything off as a joke I'm taking too seriously.

She never takes anything seriously, I bet that's where I get it from.