On The Surface | WooSan

07 - Could it be?

Everything felt unreal. Standing in front of the housing block that should feel familiar and like home to Wooyoung now just felt odd to look at. This would be in his past very soon. Not long and he'd probably never put a foot past the entrance door again. He wouldn't hear the cars rush by at night anymore and the thin walls that allowed him to unintentionally spy on his neighbors would be history.

He got out and walked to the trunk. Yunho, who had driven the car, exited it as well to help him. Wooyoung probably wouldn't have needed any but it was Yunho's job to be polite when he was not in the middle of beating someone up to protect his boss. Wooyoung smiled to thank him, Yunho returning it tiredly.

It felt odd to him. It was currently three in the morning on a Tuesday although they had started their trip back on a Sunday. Wooyoung felt that time zones are truly a weird construct. He waved Yunho goodbye and asked him to please rest enough and hoped that he would tell San and Mingi the same. Both of them were so fast asleep at that moment, they didn't even hear the doors closing shut. Yunho nodded and leaned against the car, eyes focusing on Wooyoung. Right. He won't leave until I make it home safe.

He took a last glance at the car, through the window where he could see San sleep peacefully on the other side. Then he nodded at Yunho who nodded back with a weak smile and entered the housing block.

Once inside his apartment, he left his luggage in the middle of the living room, threw himself on the sofa, and immediately closed his eyes with a heavy sigh. He felt so exhausted. His body immediately gave up on him. His mind, however, wouldn't let him rest so quickly.

He brought his hand up to look at the ring around his finger. A strange feeling filled his chest. What was he supposed to think and feel now? When he woke up that Sunday, his hand was still in San's. Their fingers weren't intertwined anymore, but they were still touching like magnets. San had still been asleep to his surprise, and as if he sensed it, he woke up once Wooyoung removed his hand.

Wooyoung had cleared his throat, mumbled a small good morning, and walked to the bathroom to take a shower. He didn't even wait for an answer. San could've protested, maybe wanted to use the bathroom first, but Wooyoung didn't care at that moment. He needed to escape and that had been his only way. He had a few minutes to clear his thoughts.

What does he think of me now? That I'm desperate? I go and hold his hand after asking him to stay even though he made it clear that he didn't want to sleep in a bed with me. God, he must definitely think that I'm desperate. Or that I don't care about his feelings. Am I inconsiderate? Does he know that I wasn't in a clear state of mind? I crossed the line, didn't I? He probably thinks I took advantage of the situation. But he could've said no. He didn't. He probably pitied me and that's why he stayed. It's fine. Maybe he does know I only wanted comfort. He's not that dense, right? I hope he doesn't interpret anything into this now.

These thoughts had almost swallowed Wooyoung alive. Even after entering the room again, he didn't have any intention to speak. The fact of not knowing what went on inside of San's head somehow made him feel unsafe. He immediately started packing his things since they'd leave on the same day, and when San sensed Wooyoung's off vibes, he felt the need to say something.

"Do you feel better?"

Wooyoung turned around with a questioning sound, surprised that San even spoke to him. Maybe he was the one who thought too much into this. Maybe he was the one interpreting something into this when San didn't even think that far.

"I do, thanks for keeping me company." Wooyoung's voice was a little hesitant, but he definitely felt calmer now.

Maybe he overreacted. Maybe it was not that deep. But they didn't just sleep next to each other, they held hands throughout the whole night. Wooyoung was just confused. Was this a platonic thing to do? Probably. Holding hands with a friend was something that he didn't consider weird, something that he wouldn't have second thoughts about. But San was not a friend. Or is he? Whatever he was, the fact that he was also Wooyoung's husband just added a certain spice to this. It made it harder to think in one direction when there were many other roads to take.