On The Surface | WooSan

14 - Facing the Enemy

San's body felt warm against Wooyoung's. They slept in the same position all night long and Wooyoung held him close throughout it. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was San's brown hair. And when he realized that all of this wasn't a dream and he was actually holding him, he closed his eyes again, let out a quiet breath, and snuggled closer once more.

Wooyoung wanted to cherish this moment for as long as possible. He knew that once San would wake up, he would immediately withdraw himself. It was unexplainable. He couldn't understand why he needed this so much, why he felt all his energy recharge and his mind calm down simply by being this close to San. All he knew was that he didn't want this moment to end soon.

He wanted it to stay like this for one more hour. That was too greedy, so maybe a few more minutes. A little more time to feel San's warmth pass over to Wooyoung's body. A little more of this closure — a few more seconds of taking in his scent and listening to his steady breathing.

Milliseconds of feeling like it was okay to hold him like this.

Wooyoung thought of yesterday. It was a beautiful day. A day filled with laughter, warmth, and love. He thought of the vanilla milk, the card games, the comfort he felt throughout the whole day, and then his mind wandered to the part where he heard San's laugh fill the silence in the garden, how they ran through the snow, and how perfectly happy he felt in that moment.

Wooyoung was well aware of the fact that they almost kissed. He was the one leaning in after all, and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment at the thought. But he was also aware that he didn't cause the lack of space between their faces alone. San was also leaning in, and part of him really wanted to know what would've happened if his mother hadn't interrupted them.

He felt so confused. Maybe they were just influenced by the bright and happy mood and didn't think. Maybe it was the mistletoe that sent out magic and manipulated them. Wooyoung did know one thing for sure, and that was the fact that something had changed.

Wooyoung was sure that San looked at him with different eyes yesterday. Something laced his eyes. Was it happiness? He couldn't remember a time he had seen San this happy. Ever. Maybe it was that. People do impulsive things when they're happy all the time, right?

And then he remembered the gift he received. San compared him to the moon, the brightest object in the night sky visible to one's eye. His stomach felt weird again and he knew the exact definition Yeosang would have for this sensation. Butterflies.

Wooyoung closed his eyes for a few seconds and then traced the pattern of San's shirt with them once he opened them again. A sigh left his mouth while he was fully conscious of the fact that maybe not everything he had deemed as platonic was platonic. Not from his side. He acknowledged that there was a change in his feelings about and for San, and he couldn't even properly put his mind to the moment he started feeling this way. Fuck.

For now, he'd keep this to himself. Wooyoung wanted to sort his thoughts and feelings a little before confronting San — if he'd even do it at all. He already felt conflicted. It would probably scare San away, make him isolate and distance himself again, or even worse, make him end all of this instantly. The last option may have been a little exaggerated and unrealistic and Wooyoung knew that, but at that moment he considered everything.

He would continue to live the way he did before yesterday, not say a thing about this because he knew San wouldn't bring it up either, and try to keep his cool. Wooyoung didn't want to put a crack into the bond that was slowly developing between him and San and was okay with the way it was right now.

After deciding to get up to take a shower, Wooyoung carefully withdrew his hand, lifted his upper body up, and slowly climbed over San's legs. When he stood on his feet, San still seemed to be fast asleep. This view drew a smile on Wooyoung's face. San looked so peaceful, so innocent, and so sweet. Like an angel with wavy bangs on his face.