To Be Named At A Later Date

Issues: The Process

"Don't you guys ever think about... Some of the stuff that happened in your relationships that weren't very... healthy?" Jasmin hated to even ask. She didn't like to think her and Jacob's relationship had really ever gotten toxic. It was a lie she told herself because they'd moved past it. She acknowledged it wasn't healthy, but she refused to call it toxic. Out loud anyways.

Connie turned off the stove and tossed the oven mitts on the counter, leaning against it as she watched the boys out of the front window sitting on the beach. "Constantly. Well, not constantly constantly. It's more like... intrusive thoughts."

"Yeah." Anna wrapped her arms around herself and sighed. "Sometimes things can be so messy. After that TokTok I haven't stopped thinking about how things used to be. Not because I regret anything just..."

"We still feel like monsters sometimes... Bring me a sours, Ni," Jasmin pleaded suddenly.

Normally someone else other than her Biscuit calling her that would irritate her, but it was all about the pronunciation that mattered. Her friends used the "Knee" variation, and Steven used "Ni" because he liked to joke she kept him safe in the dark from the monsters as his Kni-ght. She'd thought it was a space joke (Nightlight maybe?) for the longest time until he'd explained overexcitedly his reasoning. It'd been so cute she couldn't help but kiss his cheek.

A flash of him turning into a monster stopped her in her tracks and she frowned as her heart started racing. She didn't often get panic attacks, but between gem stuff and war it happened occasionally in short, paralyzing waves. "You guys wanna write a song about it?"

By the way their faces lit up, she could safely guess to just grab the champagne and Screwball before they headed downstairs.

Steven wrote a lot of his songs by shooting awake in the dead of night and grabbing for his pink mini notebook. Or, he freestyled. He had a quick enough, and abstract enough, mind that could do things like that. Hazel needed to think about it, Adam needed to extract it from his journaling. Anna was a bit similar to Steven in some ways, but for Connie and Jasmin they needed organization.

"What should we name it?" Anna drawled after the bottle had been cycled around twice.

They laughed, knowing damn well they hardly ever named their songs until the second it was about to be released. CITY OF ANGELS was an exception, but just barely.

"Okay, just say whatever comes to your minds," Anna implored. She would be able to turn their words into lyrics smoothly. Connie knew she used to write poetry back in grade school. Her piece on addiction had made her bawl her eyes out. "No thinking! Just spill!"

"Is it wrong that I kind of enjoy that we're fucked up together? I wouldn't want someone mentally sound. And I know it sounds bad but I kind of feel like my biggest problem is the fact that I can't live without Jacob."

"Hm," She grunted and after a pause wrote that down. "Keep going, no stops."

"Steven and I exchange problems. Which, is kinda terrible but I love it? We probably should worry more about our inner struggles rather than each others. But we help each other out of them."

Jasmin took a drink and sat up slowly. "I'm jealous over Jacob. Not with you guys, but with other people."

"Ugh, same. It's different sharing my partner with you guys because I know and trust you guys. But girls and guys flirt with him all the time and it makes me want to draw my sword." Connie drank until a bit ran down her cheek, and Anna licked it away. "I hate my jealous streak. I hate my aggressive streak in general. I hate the fact that I'm a workaholic and I hate the fact that I don't know when to stop sometimes. I hate that I can be so wishy washy at the most random moments. I guess there's still parts of me that want to reject his love because of Jayhawk." She'd been holding onto that for a long, long time but Anna grinned at her rant.