I See My Reflection In Your Eyes.

Chapter 5

TW Self-Harm mentioned well it's kinda thoughts of it. 

Lucy's POV
Tim and I make it until Saturday before everyone finds out about us being official. My head is in Tim's lap as we all sit in the bed of Tim's truck at a park.

"So... are you two Boyfriend and Girlfriend?" I hear Tamara who has been hanging out with us ask while my eyes flutter.
"They're just dating because Tim's too pussy to ask." Genny laughs.
"Who said," Tim says, playing with my hair while I try to stay awake.
"Wait! Did you ask her?" John asks eagerly.
"Yup. And I would let her tell you guys she said yes herself but she's about to fall asleep." Tim chuckles looking down at me in awe.
"'m not," I grumble tiredly.
"Really? So if I started talking..." Tim says in a soft voice. 

I don't hear the rest because I've drifted off.

Tim's POV
"Really? So if I started talking in a super soft voice like this you won't fall asleep?" I ask Lucy softly.

By the time I'm finished, her eyes have fluttered closed and her breathing evened out.

"Not tired she says," I say quietly.
"Have you guys kissed?" Nyla asks.
"No. I don't know if she's comfortable with it. She's clearly had some shit in the past and I don't want to upset her." I tell them.
"You could just ask." John shrugs.
"I guess." I sigh.

I watch as Lucy stirs and nuzzles into me more with a little shiver. I grab one of the extra blankets from behind me and drape it over her. I gently pull her Converse off and brush her hair out of her face. When I look up all I see is smiles.

"Shut up." I grouch.
"Cuties," Tamara smirks.

Lucy's POV
When I wake up I'm in Tim's lap cuddled around him with my head nuzzled into where his shoulder and neck meet. When did that happen? I bring my head up and notice it's gotten dark.

"Morning sleepy head." Tim smiles.
"How long did I sleep?" I ask.
"Four hours. But hey I got to find out you look absolutely adorable when you sleep." Tim chuckles.
"Shut up! I'm sure you look cute wrapped in your princess covers when you sleep." I smile.
"I do." He nods seriously.

We all hang out for a little longer and decide to head off. Genny and Angela sit in the back while I sit up front with Tim. I'm the first drop off but Tim still gets out of the truck to walk me to the door leaving Angela and Genny smirking. When I get to the door he cups my cheek.

Is this it? Will I have my first kiss tonight!?

"Can I kiss you?" He finally asks.

I want to say yes but suddenly I'm nervous and blushing.

"I don't know how to."
"I don't care." Tim shrugs, brushing his thumb along my cheek.
"Ok," I whisper.

He gently leans down giving me what I assume is time to bail but I really do want this. Then his lips meet mine and it's soft but nice. Turns out it's really easy to kiss and even easier to turn it into a mini make-out. Tim pulls back after a good moment after hearing Genny and Angela whooping. I'm quick to hide my face in his neck.

"Goodnight Luce," Tim says.

I can hear the smile in his voice. I look up and he is smiling down at me.

"Goodnight." I blush.

He quickly gives me another peck and walks off.

I wave him bye and open the door to see Zoe smirking.

"Kissing boys on the front step?" She laughs.
"Shut up!" I say, my face more red than before.
"So... is that who you've been going on dates with?" Zoe pushes.
"Yes. And he's my boyfriend." I tell her.
"Really?" She smiles.
"Mhm. We've only been together a week though." I say as I walk past her.
"Is he a nice boy?" She asks.
"Yes. Really nice." I smile but keep walking.

"Now if you don't mind me, I'm going to go blast love songs while I squeal because I just had my first kiss and it seems like a reasonable thing to do," I tell Zoe once I get to my room.
"Enjoy." Zoe laughs.

TW STARTS AND WILL BE FOR THE REST OF THIS CHAPTER.

I'm lying awake in the dark. Everything today was perfect but for some reason, I feel like I don't deserve him. It also feels like today was too perfect. I'm right now feeling the urge to cut. I haven't cut since I moved in with Zoe which was 2 and a half months ago which is also the longest I've gone without Self-Harm since I started at 11. Then I remember. I have a boyfriend. One that cares. At least I think so. I grab my phone and find his contact, hitting Facetime. He picks up after a moment.

"Why are you Facetiming me at two in the morning?" He asks.
"I can't sleep." I lie slightly. "Why are you answering my Facetimes at two in the morning?" I sass.
"Can't sleep," He grumbles.

My thoughts of cutting are silenced. It's sort of relieving. We sit in silence for a moment before Tim speaks up.

"Give me a room tour?" He asks.
"Sure," I say.

I turn on my LED lights and roll out of bed. I show him around my room while he watches with intent.

"Lucy, are you sleeping with someone else?" Tim asks randomly.
"WHAT? OMG, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" I exclaim in shock.
"Luce, it's a joke. There is an adorable teddy in your bed, technically you sleep with them." Tim chuckles, calming me.
"Jesus Christ, you're going to give me grey hairs, I'm only 15." I giggle slightly.

Suddenly Tim's door busts open and I hear Genny.

"Who the fuck are you talking to at two fucking thirty in the morning!?" Genny says in a hushed shout.
"Oh shit! It's time for the dentist, tooth-hurty." Tim smirks making me laugh properly.

My door is the next to bust open.

"Lucy what the fuck are you doing up." Zoe sighs.
"Ooo the iconic Zoe." Tim chuckles.
"I couldn't sleep," I say quietly, ignoring Tim.
"So you call your boyfriend? At 2:30?" Zoe asks.
"It's better than what I was about to do," I whisper. 
"Huh?" Tim and Genny both say.
"Oh, Luce." Zoe whispers.
"Tim, I'm gonna go." I sniffle, holding back tears.
"Yeah. Uhm, I hope you're ok." He smiles tightly.
"Yeah, fine." I nod.
"Night Lucy!" I hear Genny say as I hang up.
"I didn't. I wanted to." I tell her.
"Would you like to talk about it?" She asks.
"No. I'm gonna go to bed." I tell Zoe, still holding back tears.
"Alright. Goodnight Kid." Zoe nods.
"Goodnight Zoe," I whisper.

The second my door closes I lay down and cry myself to sleep.

Tim's POV
What was Lucy going to do? What if I hadn't answered the phone? 

Flow through my head as I fall asleep that night. 

I don't think I can live without her.