I See My Reflection In Your Eyes.

Chapter 12

A/N I'm rn in the middle of exams and should be doing my essays and studying but instead, I'm skipping school and writing this! Starting my return off with a bang AKA a heavy chapter..

TW SELF-HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SUICIDE REFRENCED.

Lucy's POV

Genny and Zoe are out. Tim's in the shower. And I don't know what to do with myself. I want to cut. I want to so badly. I hear Tim finally turn on the water. I have an idea.

I go straight to the bathroom and I'm happy to find out Tim's left the door unlocked. I slip in and lock the door.

"Luce?" Tim calls out.

I don't answer. I strip off and pull back the curtain to Tim who looks so surprised. I climb in, press my naked body to his and bury my face in his chest as I start to cry.

"Lulu? What's wrong princess?" He asks.
"Wa-nt to c-cut." I sob, my sentence broken up.
"Fuck. Did you?" Tim asks.

I shake my head no.

"Good girl baby. I'm so proud of you. Do you want the water at a different temperature or something?" Tim asks.
"No. Just want you." I mumble and cling to him tighter.
"Shhh. I've got you." He whispers in my ear.

We both just stand there for a bit until I calm down and the reality hits us both.

"I- I'm sorry. I should go." I say quickly.

Tim grabs my hand and then the washcloth and gets some of my body wash. He gently washes me as I relax into his touch. 

"Is this the shit that makes you permanently smell like strawberries?" Tim asks making me giggle.
"I try only to use strawberry scents." I smile.

Tim hums and finishes cleaning me up.

"Don't do my hair. I already washed it this morning." I tell him.
"Yes ma'am." He smiles.

I take the cloth off him and start washing him with his body wash.

We finish our shower without any more thought and then both climb out and get redressed quietly. 

"Thanks. I feel a lot better now." I smile.
"Of course Lu. I love you." Tim stories my cheek.
"I love you too," I respond while leaning into his palm.

We leave the bathroom and instantly we hear Genny and Zoe talking downstairs.

"Timothy! Lucy! Here." Zoe yells out making us both wince.

We walk to the kitchen, and Zoe inspects us, raising her brows at our wet hair. Genny just snorts and laughs a bit.

"Shut up Genifer." Tim grouches.
"Tim," Zoe warns.
"Sorry." He sighs.
"I wanna hear the story here." Genny smirks.
"Hmm! Same," Zoe says, staring at us both.
"I wanted to cut. You two weren't here and Tim was in the shower. I didn't think and I went in there. We just showered. I promise." I tell her.
"Oh. Are you ok baby?" Zoe asks worriedly.
"Mm. I think I just wanna go to bed." I sigh.

Everyone says goodnight to me, I start walking off and then Tim swiftly follows me. I get to my room and Tim follows me in, closing the door after us.

"What are you doing?" I ask.
"You said you wanted to cut. It makes me think something is in here you can do it with." Tim tells me.
"I-"
"Honesty Lucy."
"I have a razor blade." I sniffle.
"Where my princess?" He questions.
"Top draw of my nightstand. In a box in the back corner." I tell him as I cuddle with Kojo.

Tim's POV
I go to Lucy's drawer and grab the small box. I peek in the box and see the blade and I nod. I move over to Lucy and kiss her forehead.

"I love you, Princess," I tell her.
"I love you too. Can I please have some space now? I just wanna sleep and be alone." She sniffles.

I nod, tell her I love her once more and tell her goodnight then I head off. I sigh and run my hand down my face. I go downstairs and toss the small box on the bench in front of Zoe as I sit down.

"What's this?" She asks.
"I think she has more stashed away too." I frown.
"More what?" Zoe says confused.
"Fucking blades," I tell her.

Zoe looks in the box then stands up and storms up the stairs. Genny and I hurry to follow.

"Zoe! Stop. She'll get mad at me!" I yell after her as we follow.
"I don't care." Zoe snaps as she busts into the girl's room where Lucy is on her bed with a blade slicing through her wrist.

Lucy's POV
I gasp and freeze when my door busts open. I stare at Tim, Zoe and Genny as they stare at me. I start to sob as they rush over. Zoe grabs the blade and Tim wraps me up in his arms.

"Lucy! Where are the rest!" Zoe orders as I sob and shake in fear.
"Zoe shut up! She's terrified!" Tim booms.

I slip out of his arms and bolt. I run out of the house. I run and run and run. Until I get to a bridge. What am I doing? What's wrong with me? Maybe it's a good thing I'm here.