I See My Reflection In Your Eyes.

Chapter 17

TW Just a bit of a mention of SH.

Lucy's POV
As Tim looks around his room for me as he sniffles I start to re-think my decision to cut.

"Lucy? Baby girl, where are you?" He sniffles.
"Under," I whisper after a beat.

He drops to the ground and spots me, gasping a bit as he reaches for me to pull me out from under his bed. I shake my head no and move further back so he can't reach me. Tim calls out to Zoe that he found me and then he closes his door and crawls slowly under his bed with me. He gently pries my pocket knife from my hand and slides it across the floor out from under the bed. Tim moves to me and pulls me in for a hug. I nuzzle into his arms and cry. I feel him running his hands over me as he looks over me. 

We lay together under his bed for a while and I eventually fell asleep.

Tim's POV
I notice Lucy's fallen asleep so I pull away and gently pull her out from under the bed. I lift her up into my bed and tuck her in. I climb into bed and cuddle her, I'm about to fall asleep too when Zoe comes in.

"Is she ok?" Zoe asks.
"Yeah. She was under my bed. The pocket knife is on the floor. I looked over her and didn't see anything." I tell Zoe.
"I just wish I could take some of her shit. So she didn't have to carry it all." I add.
"Same, but she is only just realising she isn't alone anymore. You are a big part of that." Zoe says softly as she looks at Lucy's pocket knife.
"Yeah. So is it ok if we share my bed or do you want me on the couch?" I ask.
"You two can stay there." She nods.
"Thanks." 

Zoe comes up next to my bed and gently moves Lucy's hair out of her face.

"Goodnight Luce." She whispers.

Lucy is clearly not fully asleep as she grumbles something unrecognisable back making us both laugh a bit.

"Night bud," Zoe says as she heads off.
"Night Zoe." I smile.

A week later.

Lucy's POV
Halfway through school today Genny, Tim and I are picked up. We drop Genny off at the mall to hang around while I go to my therapy appointment.

We arrive and wait about 10 minutes before being called in. Emily gets right to the chase of handing over a paper saying I'm now diagnosed with autism.

"This is stupid. I'm not autistic!" I tell her.
"Lucy, you may not realise it but you show signs. Also, I believe you are just high masking even for yourself and that's why you can't see the signs." Emily shares.
"Go on. Tell me your stupid signs." I huff.
"You get into your head, you're bad at noticing social cues, you are unsure what to do with yourself sometimes, you listen to music to block out noise, you are sensitive to certain textures as Zoes told me and so many more. You just don't notice as it's your norm." She tells me.

Tim hugs me a bit tighter while I process.

"Do I do all those things?" I ask Tim quietly.
"Yeah." He nods and kisses my hair.
"Oh," I whisper.

For the rest of the session we discussed different things to try and help me and that next time I feel overwhelmed instead of pushing it down I need to let it out. 

I still don't think I'm autistic but Zoe and Tim agree with Emily on it.

After the session, we pick Genny up from the mall and we go out to a restaurant for dinner. We all order and while we are waiting for our food Zoe says she has an announcement, catching all of our attention.

"We're going to be moving." She smiles.
"Why?" I frown.
"Because it's not ideal having you two girls crammed in the same room, I'm financially in a good place and the house prices are low for LA. So while we have a chance I want to move." Zoe tells us.
"Are we going to look at houses sometime then?" Genny asks.

We pause our conversation as our food arrives.

"I've already found one and put an offer in and taken an offer on our house," Zoe says.

I scrunch my face up. Why did she do all this behind our backs? Suddenly I notice how fucking loud it is in this restaurant. Is this what Emily was talking about when she was talking about feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated? I don't like this feeling.

Tim's POV
Genny starts asking questions about the house but then I notice Lucy looking confused and uncomfortable.

"Are you ok Lulu?" I ask her softly.
"I don't know." She frowns as tears come to her eyes. 
"Lucy?" Zoe asks now concerned.
"I think it's time to head home. I'll take Lu out to the car." I tell Zoe and grab the keys.
"C'mon Luce," I tell her and stand up but she stays frozen in place as she covers her ears.

I shrug and lift her up. She cuddles into me and I carry her outside to the car. I unlock the car and I put her down.

"Do you have your AirPods?" I ask her.

Lucy nods and put them in. She grabs her phone and tries to turn it on but it's flat. She lets a few more tears fall but I quickly connect my phone to her Airpods and play the playlist she made for us on my account. We cuddle for a few minutes until the girls get back then we strap in and drive home. Lucy's tears slow eventually.

That night Lucy and I slept in my room again. 

I hold her through the whole night.

PS! I'm not a professional and what I know about ASD is from Google so if you wish to correct me please dooo, I'm always open to constructive criticism!