I See My Reflection In Your Eyes.

Chapter 13

A/N I was racing my laptop's battery to get this chapter out before it died because my charger is basically broken. 

TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, MENTIONS OF CUTTING, MENTIONS OF PTSD

Tim's POV

We all dash after Lucy but we lose her down the block. That girl is fast. I grab my phone out and ring her but then remember she didn't have her phone on her.

"What do we do?" I ask.
"Wait for her to come back I guess. She's never done this before. But she's barefoot and in sleep shorts and a hoodie without her phone or money so she won't be able to go far." Zoe sighs as she starts walking back to the house.
"What if she does something dumb though?" Genny whispers.
"I don't think she'd do that. Sure Lu cuts but I don't think she'll do more." Zoe shrugs.
"Maybe we make her some cookies for when she gets home? A special treat to make her feel better?" Genny suggests.
"You can. I'm going to look for stuff she could hurt herself with in her room." I tell them both and walk upstairs.

Lucy's POV
I sit down on the ledge of the bridge and dangle my feet over the edge. After god knows how longof just contemplating jumping I hear a voice behind me.

"Uhm. Sweetie? Why don't you hop down from there?" A woman asks but I ignore them.
"Your arms bleeding too. It would be best if you hopped down, it's not safe up there. If you don't get down I'll have to call 911." The woman adds after a moment.

I just keep ignoring her and focus on watching the river below. I faintly hear her calling 911 and the police but I don't care.

After a bit, I hear sirens coming up from behind me and I know my peace is over. I could just slip off now. Continue the peace. Let the peace take me away.

Wade's POV
I'm on patrol with a new rookie today when we get a call about a possible jumper. A teen girl, Asian, with long brown hair and cut wrists. As the rookie drives to the call I'm thinking about Lucy. The description sounds like her. It can't be. Lucy doesn't do this shit. We pull up and I quickly get out of the shop and head over to the girl who is sitting on the ledge. Then I see who it is.

It's Lucy.

"Luce?" I ask softly.

Lucy's POV
I hear Wade's voice. I look over to the side and see him looking at me worriedly. I just sob while I look at him.

"C'mon, let's get down from here. This isn't the answer Luce." He tells me softly.

I slowly turn myself around and reach for Wade as I sob. He softly slips me off the ledge and holds me in his arms.

"Let's get you home to your Zozo ok?" Wade says.
"Mummy." I sniffle.
"Yeah, your mummy." He smiles slightly. 

He carries me over to the shop while I just cry into his neck. 

"Let me get a medical kit so we can fix that arm up on the way home." He tells me once I'm settled into the back seat of the shop.

I nod slightly and wipe my tears with the tissue the rookie gave me. Wade hops in the back with me and starts cleaning my arm which has stopped bleeding by now while the rookie drives us to ours.

"I'm so fucking dumb," I mutter under my breath.
"Shhh. You're not Lu. After everything you've been through, you're just struggling, which is allowed and valid. You're so strong, just know that." Wade tells me.

Tim's POV
I go through all of Lucy's things and I find a total of 7 more blades stashed away. I sigh and take them out to Zoe who is now icing cookies with Genny. I grab the box Lucy gave me earlier and dump them in. Suddenly there's a knock on the door and we all run to the door. I swing it open to reveal Wade and Lucy. I grab Lucy and pull her in for a hug.

"Lu, we were so scared. Are you ok?" I say as I rub her back.
"I'm so sorry." She sobs.
"What for?" Zoe asks Lucy.
"We found her on a bridge." Wade sighs.

We all gasp in shock. I hold Lucy tighter to my body, lightly swaying her as I shush her crying.

"Luce. You know better than that." I whisper.
"I know! I'm sorry!" Lucy sobs.

I start to walk Lucy up to her and Genny's room. In the background, I can faintly hear Zoe and Wade talking but I'm focussing on Lucy. 

"Luce?" I ask after we get to her room.
"Mm?" She hums as she cuddles Kojo.
"Are you suicidal?" I question her, worried.
"I-I don't know." Lucy sniffles.
"Lu? You can't be fucking around on bridges!" I exclaim.
"Oh well! What's the worst that could happen? I die? Perfect!" She snaps back.
"Oh, baby.." I whisper.

I crawl into her bed and hold her tightly as she starts to cry again.

"We're going to sort this out. Well talk to Zoe, maybe get you into therapy." I tell her.
"No! I don't need therapy. I sometimes just get scared. Remember stuff from the past and have flashbacks and stuff. It's fine. I only did it because I'm sick of all the flashbacks and nightmares and the constant feeling of being terrified." Lucy sobs.
"Lu, you need therapy. It's what fixes these things. They will be able to help you." I say. "You may also have PTSD. You know it's a possibility after everything. We should get you tested." I add.
"I... It makes sense but what if I do have it." She sniffles.
"Then we can help you. Maybe train Kojo to be a service dog like you suggested and maybe some meds can help." I tell her.
"Maybe. Can we talk about this later I just want cuddles." She sighs.

I nod and pull her in closer.