Blood In Snow- Heiress Of The Seven Blades

Chapter 7- A change in me.

Zhao took one more sip of her tea.

"I didn't want to be involved in my parent's bullshit anymore. I felt like my father needed to be stronger right after his trauma about his life with my mother haunting his soul as we speak.
I feel like he needed to be stronger in order to protect me after she died.
so his strength and mental toughness eventually deteriorated. So, I never wanted to have business with him.
Ever again.
I feel like I'm trapped in a neverending cycle of unnecessary back and forth drama that's never going to be important in my life but only bring me despair. the only thing I need to do is to figure out my life and set out my goals for when I'm an adult in this world. my family had always been broken by my mother. due to the many things she had to endure as an adult being treated like a sex slave. So, I would rather leave it alone than cross my father's path towards meaningless grudges and endless despair.
it's one: fix my father's despair through his relationship with my mother.
2: Figure out my real identity in my heritage or the real spiritual wavelength of my life.
And 3: fix my existential hatred."

"Existential...hatred?"

zhao's eyes grew a lot darker like she endured that same despair.

"even when I was born. my mother still chose to take this job even when it's hurting her. even when it's hurting her reputation to be a slut. It's like she gave birth to me... unintentionally.
it's like she didn't want to give birth to a child while her entire job revolved around sex. while my father was remaining strong to his wife being fucked over and over.
I was over here being ignored while he didn't have the strength to take care of a child. I looked exactly like her.
That's why she's such a looker in our town's pavilion.

I hated myself. I hated my model career before I applied for the sunset blizzard clan. I hated what my life was. I hate EVERYTHING. But I continually choose to hide it as if it's nothing but a meaningless farce to me.  I continue to remain a happy, violent, and protective individual. I was weak.
I wasn't qualified to fight for my family when it was breaking down right in front of my eyes from the moment my children eyes saw my mother cum in lust..

But agony. I don't want to live this way. I want a way out of this mess.
if he can't fix his truama of being with my mother, then why should I care?💢 I want to be stronger. I'm doing the best I can in order to fit everybody's expectations in order to be this powerful warrior. every time I get insulted.
it reminds me of my mother's moans in agony as these men would leave bruises on her ass and call her all types of names. I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of this."

hao's eyes widened in a strong state of sadness.
She squat down to hug her in the back.

"You are a beautiful girl. You are strong and powerful enough to take on a life of actual hell. Your mental toughness is stronger than most gods I don't pray to. But know. i can guide you in a path to becoming an inhuman warrior, saving the innocent in being killed."

"Right.."

"...how about we go visit your father?"

"WHAT?"
Hao seemed serious while her palm is on zhao's wrist.

"Where is your father? And where is your home town?"

"... White Peacock Town.. I don't know if I want to visit him. dispite his radiating despair swarming through his aura. It used to disgust me before I moved out.. I have a bit of resentment towards him. my town isn't fair. It's directly over to Yianming Forest.
men in china are supposed to be strong individuals with an unfathomable amount of mental toughness. He has none of -"

"Let's go visit him. I want to see how you can grow up and change out of this drama you and him have. I want you to express your true feelings to him...
To see if that despair is going to fall out of him like webs against a metal object.
Are you able to do that?"