Fighting Shadows!

The Search

I opened my laptop once again, determined to find out more about this mysterious Blake. His reputation as a renowned kickboxer intrigued me, and I believed that if anyone could teach me how to defend myself, it would be him.

It wasn't just what happened last night that fueled my desire to learn self-defence; it was also the constant fear I lived in due to my stepfather. He was a cruel and abusive man, and I despised the feeling of helplessness that washed over me whenever he unleashed his anger.

Enough was enough. It was time for me to change the narrative and take control of my life. I quickly jotted down the address of the training facility where Blake was said to train, carefully slipping the paper into my back pocket. This was my golden opportunity to learn how to stand up for myself, to rid myself of the fear that had plagued me for far too long.

My stepfather was the reason I had never allowed myself to date anyone. His constant belittlement had made me believe that I was unworthy of love, that I was weak and useless. But deep down, I knew that wasn't true. I had the strength within me, waiting to be unleashed.

I dialled Linda's number to tell her that I won't make it for dinner but she knew exactly what I was about to do.

"Tell me you're not going to look for this guy?" Linda's voice crackled through the phone, filled with concern and a touch of disbelief. I could hear the worry in her tone as I paced back and forth in my small apartment.

"Yes, I am," I replied, my voice quivering with a mix of determination and fear. I wiped away the tears that streamed down my cheeks, their familiar presence a constant reminder of my vulnerability.

"Do you have any idea how to defend yourself?" Linda continued, her voice filled with genuine concern. I could visualize her frowning, her brow furrowed as she tried to understand my decision.

"I thought so," she sighed, the sound of disappointment evident in her voice. I hurriedly grabbed my coat, the urgency of the situation urging me to take action. But before I could decline the call, Linda called me out.

"Emily? You have no idea who this guy is," she pleaded, her words laced with worry. "He toys around with girls like it's a joke to him. The last thing you need is another man toying with you."

I stared into the distance, my mind clouded with memories of past encounters that had left me feeling weak and powerless. Linda's words echoed in my ears, resonating with the deep-seated fear that had haunted me since I was eight years old.

"I'm not going there for him to toy around with me," I finally spoke, my voice filled with a newfound determination. "He is going to teach me how to defend myself. I'm tired of being weak, Linda. Look at me. Do you have any idea how it feels to feel useless since the age of eight years old?"

Silence enveloped us for a moment as Linda absorbed my words. She knew, perhaps better than anyone, the struggles I had faced in my life. The countless times I had been pushed around, taken advantage of, and left feeling utterly powerless. Her sympathetic eyes met mine, understanding passing between us.

"I understand, Emily," she finally whispered, her voice filled with a mixture of empathy and concern. "Just promise me you'll be careful. Promise me you won't let him hurt you."

A surge of gratitude washed over me, grateful for the unwavering support that Linda had always provided. "I promise," I replied, my voice filled with determination. "I will see you tomorrow."

With those final words, I hung up the phone and stepped out into the cold night. The streetlights illuminated the path ahead, casting long shadows that seemed to mirror the doubts and fears that clouded my mind. But as I walked towards my destination, a glimmer of hope flickered within me.