Whiskers

A forbidden love

Dan's POV

I loved my best friend. I'm living with my best friend, and i love him. He's not gay, and that hurts me so much. I wasn't even sure i love him until it happened. I just realized it. But, i think i loved him before that. But it didn't matter what i felt, becuase he would never love me. He couldn't, because he wasn't gay. I remembered this everytime i caught myself staring at him, which was pretty much whenever i was around him.

But i couldn't do this, i couldn't play this game. I needed to distance myself from him, so i don't ruin our friendship with my feelings.

Phil's POV

Ever since the projects, Dan has been quiet. he barley talks to me anymore, and we don't play Halo anymore. Did i make him mad? Was he mad at me for showing everyone his singing? I couldn't tell, I thought we were just over the cat whiskers. What happened?

He stopped singing in the shower, and started walking to and back from school without me. He hasn't shown up at our table for lunch all week, and he won't even say hi or nod to me in the halls. I miss him, he is my best friend.

It's Saturday, no way can he avoid me all weekend. With live together for Pete's sake. "Dan!" I knock on his door in the morning. "Dan?" I ask again when i don't get a response. I slowly open the door, "Dan, i'm coming in." I say. I open the door to reveal an empty bed, and an empty room. I kind of stare, not sure what to do now? "Hey." I'm startled at my brother's voice. "hey Martyn." I say, my hand over my heart. He's drying his hair with a towel with one around his waist.

"Your kid went out last night" He says, i'm confused. "What?" Then i realize he's talking about Dan. "Wait, where?" I ask, suddenly curious. "I don't know. I got back around 2, and your kid was leaving." I'm suddenly flooded with panic. He's gone? How? "Why do you call him my kid?" I ask. "Because you kind of take him under your wing... or whatever." He says. "With him being gay an all, he gets picked on i imagine." He adds on. "Dan's not gay," I say immediately, but then second guess it. Martyn laughs. "Are you bloody kidding me? You need to pay attention, of course he's gay." Martyn says. I had always though he was just picked on.

"Oh." I say quietly. "Ok, well I'm going to take a nap. Maybe you should too, you look tired." He says, heading into his room at the end of the hall. "Ok." I say, i am tired. Maybe i'll just wait until Dan gets home, and take a nap.

I'm awoken by the door closing. I sit up, noticing it's midnight. I rub my head, i was seriously asleep all that time? I hear some footsteps down our hall, a glass breaking and a scream. I quickly get up and run into our launge and kitchen space. I see Dan staring at martyn, and Martyn staring at Dan. I flick the lights on, making them both jump and look at me. Dan's still dressed in the clothes from Friday. "I got up to go out to meet my girlfriend, and i ran into this guy. He dropped the glass and squealed." Dan glares at Martyn, then me. "I'm leaving." He snaps, and heads for the door. Martyn has his hands up in mock surrender. "Wait!" I say, making them both turn to me again. "Where have you been?" I say, in a surprisingly stern voice. "You're not my mom." He snarls. "Dan, are you drunk?" I ask. "WHY? You don't even know me Phil!" He yells and opens the door. "Dan, please." i say, but he slams the door. "What. Just Happened?" Martyn said, i could tell he was holding back a laugh. "Martyn!" I exclaim at his rudeness. "Ok, ok. I see i'm not wanted here, i'm leaving anyway." He says and heads for the door.

It closes in my face for the second time that night.

Dan's POV

If it was yesterday, i would have regretted that. I would regret slamming the door in the face of the boy i though i loved. But, when i went out on Friday night i met someone. His name was PJ. It turned out he went to our school, and his best friend's name was Chris. I had been too wrapped up in Phil to notice this boy, plus we had no classes together. And he was gay, and his friend was bisexual. He had left the club early, but invited me to another club tonight. He said he would be there all night, but i was doubtful. it was around 1:00 AM and I was taking a chance thinking he might still be there.

As i followed the address and the direction he wrote on a crumpled napkin, I found the club. The whole building shook with the music, it wasn't my type of place. I didn't like huge parties with a lot of people i did not know. But PJ was going to be there, so, so was i.

As i walked in, i found it weird that there was no bouncer. Anyone could walk in. Which was probably a good thing, because i probably couldn't get into the club with all black on. I had to admit, i was pretty shady looking. As i walked in, i found it odd that there were only a few people. The music was loud, and there was only a barista and a few couples throughout the bright club. The barista turned around, revealing the curly dark hair and sparkling blue eyes. "PJ!" i called, and i waved. He nodded his head and waved me over to where he was standing.

"Hey Dan." He smiled at me with his straight white teeth. "Hey." I say, obviously way too excited. "So, where's Chris?" I ask, making conversation. "Oh he's somewhere," PJ says, looking around, "He'll show up." He smiles again, and i melt inside. I only had felt this with Phil... but i pushed the though away. PJ was gay, and Phil was not. I had to get over him.

Me and PJ made small talk until Chris walked up. "Hey!" He says as he walks behind the counter and slides his arm around PJ's waist. What? "Hey babe." PJ says, looking admirably at Chris. Then they kiss, Chris's arms around PJ's waist and PJ's arms around Chris's neck.

I feel like i am going to puke. "Ok, I-I have too..." I don't bother finishing the sentence because they aren't listening anyway. I run, not to a bathroom, but outside. I can't believe it, but i should have known. They were inseparable last night, i just though that they were best friends. I need to stop with this wishful thinking.

I run all the way home, my legs and my chest burning. But i need to get out of there, i'm done with love. I'm just done.

When i get home, Phil is on the couch. I can tell by the way he looks at me that i must look terrible. I catch my reflection in a mirror by the kitchen sink. My hair is all messed up, blown every which way and has a little wave to it because of how cold and the moisture outside. My eyes are running, and tears are streaming down my cheeks. "Dan?" He asks with worry and panic flooding his speech. I look down and shake my head. He's watching the late night news. "Dan, please. Talk to me would you?" He asks, patting the seat beside him. I sit, taking deep and shaky breaths. I just sit there.

"You've been seemingly unhappy recently." He says. I shrug and continue to mindlessly stare at the screen. "Dan please." He says. I shake my head again. He sighs. His shoulders drop and he looks down, his fringe hanging down hiding his beautiful eyes. No Dan stop, stop wishing for something that will never happen! My thoughts only aggravate me further. I start full on crying. My tears silently scream down my cheeks as i make no noise.

"Dan!" He almost screams, getting my attention. I look at him, but directly look down. He puts a finger under my chin and lifts my head. His hands are warm. "Aren't you the one who said to do whatever you needed to be happy." I look at him through a blurred vision. I nod, and he stands up. "Then do it! Do it now, tell me what you need to tell me would you! Bloody hell Dan just do whatever you need to do to be happy."

With a tiny hesitation, i stand up. I run up to him and kissed him. I'm slightly taller then him but i curl my fingers through his black hair as my chapped kips crash against his soft ones. He pulls back, like it physically hurt him. He puts a hand to my chest and pushes me off of him. I stumble back and hit the table with a thud. For the second time tonight, love has been thrown in my face.