Lights Are Missing (PART 1)

10.

I got up for school like I did any other day, but when I got on my bike to get to school, I realized I had a flat tire. Probably just from the uneven gravel at the train tracks, I assumed, but I didn't have time to pump it back up again. So, I decided that I'd just walk. Afterall, it wasn't too far.

While on the walk there, it had started to rain. Not too hard, but hard enough to get my sweater all wet. I just wanted a break from all of the confusion. Even the universe was giving me mixed signals. Did it want my life to go in the right direction now, or the wrong?

Being in the rain as I walked though gave me this sense of sadness. I don't think it was the rain itself, I loved the rain, but I think it was the being alone and the humiliation I knew was going to ensue as soon as I got to school.

I think I mostly missed my friends. The chat I had with Yeonjun last night brought things to my attention that I hadn't even thought about. I now had a reason to be sad when I was alone. Because I now knew what life was like with friends. Before, all I ever knew was alone. But now I have people I can rely on, and now being away from them hurts. Maybe I was just getting addicted.

As I approached the school, seeing the kids rushing from their parents cars to the front entrance, I too felt like I had to rush. So, I finally put a little urgency behind my steps.

When I finally made it to the school, when I finally made it into the safe space, I realized just how wet my sweater and pants had gotten. Thankfully I decided not to wear jeans that day. Wet jeans are literally worse than wet socks. Instead, I was wearing gray sweatpants and a dark blue sweater. But the gray looked darker as it got more and more wet.

Sitting inside the main entrance, I saw a few people looking at me. I couldn't stand there any longer. So, I decided I'd just walk towards the gym where the bus drops the kids off, just something to get me moving from this embarrassing situation.

As I was walking towards the double doors to take me from the main entrance of the school to a back hallway, I heard someone call out my name, "Beomgyu!"

As I looked over my shoulder, I saw that it was Yeonjun and Soobin. The two of them were both walking towards me, but quickly they both slowed their walking when they saw how wet I was, "Dude what happened to you?"

"My bike got a flat tire. I had to walk." I'd realized just how cold I really was, the water seeping through and running along my skin. I was freezing cold, shivering every now and then. It was rough, that's for sure.

Soobin shrugged, "Well at least you're here now." He giggled a bit.

"Here, you can have my jacket." He was wearing a gray zip up jacket over his dark blue shirt. It matched mine.

"But, it'd get wet." I mumbled. He then shook his head and gestured for me to take the jacket. So, I did. But I still didn't understand what I was supposed to do with it.

"Change in the bathroom."

"And wear just this?"

"It's better than a soaking wet sweater."

He was right. If he didn't care, and I didn't care, then there would be no reason for me not to do it.

I shrugged and left the two guys standing there as I awkwardly walked past groups of kids on my way to the bathroom. As soon as I got in there, I ran into one of the stalls to change. I ripped off my wet sweater, tossing it over the bathroom stall door. I was freezing cold.

After I shivered and my teeth chattered for a second, I shook my head to clear my mind, wiping my face as I unzipped Yeonjun's jacket. After I did so, I slipped it on, instantly feeling better by the warmth it gave me. And at the same time, I realized something strange about the sweater. I guess I never really realized, but Yeonjun had a very specific scent.