Lights Are Missing (PART 1)

18.

"You shouldn't get too comfortable." Soobin whispered in my ear as he continued to gently rub circles on my shoulder blade. We were both lying on the couch in a side room. His head was on the arm rest, my head on his chest as the rest of my body was limp on his.

His other hand was holding my hand right in front of my face. I was just admiring how his hands held mine so tightly, so comfortingly. His hands were so soft.

How was I supposed to not get 'too comfortable' when he was holding me like that? Our legs were tangled together and my other hand was outstretched over the armrest. My still untouched cup was sitting on the coffee table in front of the couch.

It was starting to seem like I wouldn't be drinking anything that night. Maybe that was for the better.

"How's your mom and sister doing?" I wanted to have some kind of a conversation and I couldn't help but ask about the one thing I knew about. His mother and sister.

"Really good," I could just hear the happiness in his voice already, "I don't know if you've realized but I don't have to leave as often anymore. My mom got a pretty big promotion. Now I only have one part time job."

I was about to start jumping around with joy. Soobin was finally free. His family was going to actually be able to live a nice life and they could all hang out together without Soobin having to leave every other hour because he has work.

Better for us too, we'd be able to hang out without worrying about Soobin leaving as well.

"Really? That's great!" I smiled up at him as he looked down at me. Being in his arms like that made me feel just so much more comforted.

"My father, too, has been reaching out to my mom more. He wants to see my sister and I next weekend. It's been months since we've seen him." His tone saddened me a little. I guess I didn't know all that much about his father. I didn't know anything other than the fact that he moved away after the divorce. Maybe, deep down, he was a really good guy.

He held my hand a little tighter, but my fingers could still move. I wanted to comfort him as much as I could, so I just started tracing hearts on his collarbone, "You've never gone to visit?"

"My mother never wanted us to, and he never really asked until recently. I think she's starting to realize that he's not all that bad." He sounded like he was getting more comfortable talking about the situation. I just wondered what he was going to say to the guys when he'd be hanging out with his dad next weekend instead of us. Maybe he'd finally come clean.

"You're excited, I assume."

"Very. My sister and I deserve a dad."

I nodded slowly as I continued to cover his neck in invisible doodles that expressed my love for him, "You do."

There was a silence between us, but it wasn't awkward. Just loving. Maybe it was a little weird for me to be so close to him, I mean drawing hearts on his neck as we laid together on the couch, talking about personal lives, but he was my best friend. He saved me in a way words can't describe. Him, Kai, Taehyun and Yeonjun would always be my saviors. I was just there to ruin it all.

Eventually, he shifted a little to get more comfortable, "What was Yeonjun saying to you?"

I knew it was going to be a topic of discussion, that was the reason he took me away from Yeonjun, but I really didn't feel like talking about it.

But I really had no choice, "A while ago I told him I wanted to leave. I kept telling him I was uncomfortable and he just got mad." There was clearly more to the story, but it just wouldn't spill. I was biting my tongue to keep it back.