author's note ~
this will be the epilogue chapter to the story. however, the chapter that follows this one will be a discussion/education opportunity covering the topic of anorexia nervosa with information gathered from accredited sources along with personal anecdotes. i highly suggest you give it a read, especially if you or someone you know is struggling with this detrimental disorder.
with that being said, here is the final chapter. enjoy :)
~ iikaiyo
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
the media often portrays recovery as this beautiful process; it only shows the golden pot at the end of the rainbow. the b-rolls of the person looking introspectively toward a bright sunny sky, shots of the person living a healthy life at their job or with their family, and even a stupid slow-motion shot of the person walking in a prosperous field. the in-between is never shown.
why? because it's a bitch.
after staying under suicide watch at the tokyo general psychiatric hospital, kei was transported to an acute inpatient rehab facility in miyagi. this, of course, was completely against his wishes. he was dragged there kicking and screaming, forced to separate from his life. he couldn't go to school, he couldn't play volleyball, and he couldn't be with kuroo.
hours and hours on end, he was talking with a therapist or doctor, doing mandatory "therapeutic" activities, and staring at plates of food that nurses plopped on his side table. it was annoying. his entire life in those moments revolved around him and his illness, exhausting the topic and aggravating his mind.
if kei had it his way, he would snap his fingers, and this would all be over. that's what he felt was expected of him. sick boy goes to hospital, sick boy finds out he's sick, sick boy recovers. the harsh reality of it all is that it truly never ends. he is trapped in the abhorrence of his mind for the rest of his life.
people who don't go through such a debilitating mental disorder have the bliss of ignorance. they don't understand that recovery isn't as easy as the stories make it out to be.
going through the disorder is the easy part. it's breaking the cycle you have constantly endured for what feels like seven lifetimes that is the bitch.
there was a knock on his door. "tsukishima," his nurse called, alerting his attention from the book he was reading. "you have some visitors."
not long after, akiteru and kuroo appeared with smiles on their faces. kei smiled back at them. "hey."
he stood up to greet them a bit more formally, but kuroo had other plans. kuroo rushed over, wrapped kei in a bear hug, and picked him up to spin him around. "ahhh, i missed you so much!" kuroo was beaming from ear to ear to finally see kei again.
"easy now, kuroo," akiteru laughed, especially after seeing kei's startled face while hoisted in the elder's arms.
"i missed you, too, now put me down," kei chuckled softly.
kuroo obliged, tenderly dropping kei to his feet. the three males took a seat; kuroo sat next to kei on his bed, and akiteru sat in a visitor's chair. "how are you, kei?" kuroo asked softly with his arm wrapped around his side.
kei leaned his head on kuroo's shoulder, his smile dwindling. "i've been okay. some days are better than others."
"you look good, baby bro," akiteru said.
kei twiddled with his fingers. "i'd look better without this damn hose going up my nose."
"what is that for, anyway?" kuroo asked. he always felt awkward asking kei or akiteru about what it was because he didn't want kei to think that the wires, tubes, and medications were all he saw.
JE LEEST
empty ~ kurotsuki
Fanfictie"the secret is to just be empty." his reflection looms over him as if it were a giant wave waiting to devour him. he feels the noose of his subconscious grow tighter, suffocating him with the voices of dysmorphia. as it tightens, his control begins...
