How Can I Love You If I Can't Love Myself?

-Chapter 15-

Cody

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" my dad yelled, his voice the loudest its been. I already felt tears stinging my eyes. He shoved his phone into my face. The video of the fight had already blown up.

"Dad, let me explain-" I started, but was quickly cut off.

"Do not call me dad," he said harshly. "You call me sir or you don't call me at all! I'm ashamed that you're even related to me! I should have Heather as my biological daughter. Her dad can have the mistake."

"He started it!" I blurted out. "He was picking on my friend and-and so I pushed him and the. after school he ran towards me to fight me and then said some horrible shit about my boy- friend. About my friend and so I won the fight and..." I was rambling. It was as if I couldn't stop. The only way I got shut up was by a slap across the face.

"YOU BETTER SHUT THE HELL UP RIGHT NOW OR ELSE THOSE BRUISES OF YOURS WILL GET WORSE," he yelled, getting closer to me. Spit flew from his mouth into my face. "Goddamn it, boy. You made a big mistake. Do you know how horrible this is for my reputation?"

I couldn't help myself. I chuckled. "Of course. Of course! Your reputation! It's not like abusing your own fucking son will ruin it! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M THE ONE BEING RUINED EVERY FUCKING DAY BY YOU!"

My dad's face grew red with anger. He grabbed me by the shirt collar and dragged me to the basement door. He opened it and pushed me down the stairs. I tumbled down, my body only getting bruised even more. He walked down after me, watching me for a bit as I groaned on the floor in pain.

"Get up," he said harshly. I couldn't even move. I felt so sore. "I said get up!" He grabbed my arm and pulled me up, leading me into the storage room of our basement.

Funny thing about the storage room, it has no windows! And the only lightbulb in there burnt out. We never replaced it because we never use the storage room! So it makes the perfect place to lock up your own son and starve him.

The door slammed shut, and I immediately ran towards it. I started to bang on it, yelling for him to let me out. But I knew it was no use when I saw the light from the crack of the door turn off. I slouched down against the door, just sobbing.

I got up again and ran my body against the door, trying to knock it down. "Let me out!"

Worst part of it all was that I hadn't eaten since school lunch. And I didn't eat breakfast. Also, that school lunch is nasty. This was going to ge a fun night.

Noah

Noah-It-All: Cody??? Are you alright???

Noah-It-All: Cody, what happened? Why won't you answer?

Noah-It-All: Goddamnit, Cody what's going on?

Codemeister: hi noah, its heather. youre lucky i know codys password. we need to talk.

Noah-It-All: Heather? What happened to Cody?

Codemeister: hes currently locked in the basement storage room. i'll explain more, just meet me at the pond

I'm currently driving to the pond, my heart feeling like it's about to come right out of my chest. What happened to Cody? Why is he locked in his basement? Is he alright?

I pulled up at the side of the road, moving as quickly as possible. I saw Heather already waiting by the pond, so I got out and rushed towards her.

"Heather, what the hell is going on?" I asked, almost crazily. "Is Cody alright?"

"I'm not sure..." she said softly.

"Well, you told me you were going to explain, so explain."

"Noah, you can't let Cody know I told you this. For some reason he's- he's afraid to tell anyone. He's scared of 'the consequences' ow whatever."

"Yeah, yeah, okay! I won't tell him."

She sighed before speaking again. "Cody's dad is abusive. He drinks too much and as a result lets out all his emotions on Cody. Cody even-"

Heather stopped short. I raised an eyebrow.

"Continue?" I asked her. "What did he do?"

"That part I can't say. Anyways, his dad got pissed at the video, so now Cody has been locked in our basements storage room."

"Holy shit..." I sighed, feeling both pitiful and a bit confused. "Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"Like I said," she explained. "He's scared."

Cody

"Heather!" I yelled, still hitting my fists against the door. "Heather, please!"

My cries and begs and pleas were desperate by now. My eyes were red and wet with tears and it felt hard to breathe. It felt like the room had gotten smaller. I leaned against the wall as I sat on the cold, unfinished floor.

I heard the door unlock, but I had no time to get out of the way before my dad practically kicked it open, pushing me out of the way.

"You better shut the hell up or we're going to have problems," my dad told me. I noticed a ruler in his hand now, so I started to back away. "Do you know how much work it's going to be to get all those videos off the internet?"

I shook my head. Making myself smaller than him seemed like the best option right now.

"Much more work than you've ever done in your life," he grumbled. "Stand up."

I stood up, and he gestured to walk over to him. I walked over. He jerked my hand out from my side and rolled up the sleeve.

"This better teach you a lesson," he said lowly in my ear. "Cause it's clear all my other beatings don't."

My dad lifted the ruler and slapped it down onto my arm. I bit my lip as I held in a cry of pain. Another slap. And another. And another.

"How did I ever raise a kid as horrible and worthless as you?"

Another slap, this time to my side.

"You have no respect for others. You only think about yourself!"

Another slap to the side.

"You got to learn that your actions have consequences."

A few more slaps to my arm again.

"You are just a small child, Cody. And you'll never be anything more."

One more slap, the most painful one. He then dropped the ruler and punched me. I stared at him, my eyes wet with tears. He stared back, coldly.

My dad picked up and the ruler and left, locking the door once more. As I watched the light from behind the door turn off, I slowly sunk to the ground.

What had I done?

1139 words :)