💮Massive tmf/shiz/rant/vent dump book💮

Incorrect quotes pt.6 💀🖤

Dark humor edition! ^^

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Sean: I once gave a blind person a cheese shredder for their birthday.
Also Sean: 2 weeks later they replied with: "THAT WAS THE MOST VIOLENT BOOK EVER!!!"

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Milly: People often ask me how I deal with my problems.
Also Milly: I simply say: "I just double the substance price by two. Either they take it or leave it."

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Zander: What does Nemo and my biological father have in common?
Also Zander: They both can't be found!

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Luke: Dark humor jokes are just like kids with cancer.
Also Luke: They never get old.

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Jake: Dads are like boomerangs.
Also Jake: I hope so....

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Hailey: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Also Hailey: Right were you left it.

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Drew: Someone asked me this the other day: "What's the quickest way to get to a hospital?"
Also Drew: I replied with: "Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road."

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Zoey: I won $3 million in the lottery so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
Also Zoey: Now I have $2,999,999.75.

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Henry: My boyfriend broke up with me because he kept saying I was too mysterious.
Also Henry: Or did he?

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Liam: I wanted to take a picture with my grandpa who was conected to a life support machine. But sadly my phone died so I unplugged the nearest cable to plug my charger in.
Also Liam: When I went to look back at my grandpa, he stoped smiling. To this day, I wonder how he died....

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Daisy: My mom told me to have a great day.
Also Daisy: So I skipped school and all of my after school activities.

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Sadie: Someone said to me: "You won't eat a human. So why do you eat meat?"
Also Sadie: I replied with: "Bold of you to presume I wouldn't eat a person...."

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Lia: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Also Lia: They just happen to not know where home is.

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Stacy: My therapist told me: "Time heals all wounds"
Also Stacy: So I stabbed him. Now we wait...

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Elliot: Too many people and not enough voodoo dolls....

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