𝘚𝘰𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 | A Top Gun Fanfiction

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘎𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘊𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳

» » Takes place during the events of Chapter 30  « «

When I agreed to join Top Gun and fill in an empty seat for a fellow female aviator, I never knew what a dam I was bursting. I never once thought that the military was as blemished as the rest of the world; that you would be looked down on for being a girl. Dad was so good to me, always looking out for my well being. He was a storm of a man. A thunderclap resounded for every wrong step made in his presence. In the back of my mind, I understood that if the boys surrounding me ever upset me in any way, Daddy would bring holy fire down on their heads and fry them remorseful. I understood, and yet...I convinced myself that they liked me. That the second our class was tossed together, they had the decency to look past the border between our sexes, and appreciate me for who I am: a girl who loves the star-spangled banner and would circle the world on wings if she could. I worked harder than I ever have in my life to get in that class, to get here, in Top Gun...

Stirrups is right. Men can be mean, and think they know better, but any human is capable of pride and ignorance. I suppose I'm grateful to Dad for protecting me, and grateful to Stirrups for helping me see a less rose-gold reality. I only wish she could've been a little naive too; experience less hurt, suffered less.

At least I'm here. I'll be her look out now. I might not be able to throw punches like Maverick did to Dash, but...it's like Mom always said:

The world is my onion.

She had a way of rearranging phrases. It drove my Dad crazy.

But she was right — about the onion. My eyes are fingers of their own, peeling back layers of whatever I see. I don't remember a time when I didn't see three levels deeper than the surface. There has always been a magnifying glass in my heart; it can unravel the densest novel and the most bitter of people. As a child, I used to stare at practically every little thing. Stars, moon, and sun, the ocean, pebbles, and moss, humans and animals alike. The world is my onion.

Little did I know that moving to Miramar would peel back a layer of my own life.

I wilted at the prospect.

My roots ripped up? What else was I to do but go cold and gray.

I did what I could to bring myself to life again. Dad alone kept my very center blood red. Honor, duty, courage. I spoke his words to myself on the flight to Miramar. I've spoken them to myself since he passed. In the dark of night, I sometimes have the strength to whisper each one to the breeze, hoping he'll tell it to the sea and they will ride together, the three of them, on the backs of the crystalline waves to the moon. I fall asleep thinking of my father collecting a million glittering whispers from the cratered surface. I wish he could send me some whispers of his own...but that's not how it works with death. He takes you away, and he gives you something to make you forget before. Those on Earth are cursed with remembering.

How painful it is, to know something you can never have.

But, how wonderful, to have many somethings right here, right now.

Wordsmith though I may be, I'm not half the poet required to put into verse the love I feel for my Top Gun family. My Charlie, Stirrups, Maverick, Goose and Carol and their little Bradley. How to begin to say what it feels like, to have each of them in my life? A shock. An electric jolt the second I peeled the first layer of my onion. Six. Six godsends? Overwhelming. Like too many gifts under the tree. Shiny, red and gold and warm. And you want them but you're unable to move your feet because they're all so perfect in a pack. You're nervous, but you aren't scared, because you want what's there for you. The shiny exterior and the let downs they obscure. People are presents of the best sort and I've never known such beautiful people as the six I found in Miramar.