No Promises | Wolfstar AU

Sixteen

Remus shouldn't be surprised, but it still stings when MacGonagall announces that Sirius has scored highest for the quiz. A perfect 100.

And Remus got ninety-eight again.

There were no House points up for grab this time, but it doesn't make Remus feel any better. With each quiz and assignment, his vow of surpassing Sirius is starting to feel less like a goal and more like a delusion.

"Jealous, Lupin?" Sirius whispers in his ear, leaning close. It takes all of Remus' self-control not to move away. "I would wish you better luck for next time," Sirius smirks, "but no amount of luck will help you, so I won't." 

Remus doesn't bother with a response. Determined to surpass Sirius in the next quiz, he diverts his attention back to MacGonagall. 

***

"Hey, what's got you all moody?" Lily nudges Remus, making him look up from the stray noodle he's been pushing around with his fork.

"Nothing," Remus sighs.

"Okay," Lily raises her eyebrow, "very convincing, Re," 

Remus smiles fondly, grateful for Lily's concern that doesn't fail to appear even when she's dealing with her own problems. The truth is that he's been mulling over what Sirius had to say about the Filch situation. 

He's uneasy about having compromised himself by staying silent, but part of him feels that Filch deserved what he got. 

Well, maybe Remus wouldn't have given the man erectile dysfunction, but...

At the same time, he refuses to believe that Dumbledore would just let it slide. There's no way he would've disregarded something so dangerous. 

But then, his punishment for Sirius, who disfigured—albeit temporarily—not one but three students all younger than him, was foraging. And it's well in line with Dumbledore, who has always preferred gentle correction over harsh punishments. 

On the other hand, what right does Sirius have to criticise one of the wisest Wizards in Britain, one who's nurtured entire generations of students? 

What right does he have to criticise the one man who looked at Remus and saw not a monster but a boy, the one man who took Remus under his wing, the one man who went out of his way to ensure Remus' safety in a society of cruel phobia?

"Earth to Re," Lily nudges him again. Remus blinks, pushing his half-full plate away, his appetite gone. "Is this about the Transfiguration quiz?" Lily asks gently, placing a hand on Remus' arm. "Re, you shouldn't beat yourself up because Sirius scored highest," 

Remus is, in fact, very much beating himself up, although this is not the pressing issue occupying his mind right now. 

"How is it fair?" Remus wonders aloud. "He was hungover when MacGonagall gave us that quiz, for God's sake," 

"There's always a next time," Lily consoles him. "You excited for Hogsmeade?" 

This change of topic, most likely intended to cheer Remus up, doesn't end up having the expected effect. Instead, Remus deflates a little bit more. 

"I can't go," 

"Why not?" Lily asks. 

"Full Moon's on Saturday," Remus replies with a soft sigh.

"Oh, Re," Lily squeezes his hand, "I'm so sorry. Want me to stay back?"

Remus laughs despite the situation. "And do what?" His voice is more forceful than he imagined it would be. "Watch me turn into a monster? You wouldn't last much longer since I'd tear you to pieces, Lily. Or turn you into the same kind,"