Bad Boy, but Good For You

Chapter 17

Rain is exhausted, but he can't stop staring down at the baby in wonder. His baby, he still can't believe she is finally here. Well, his and P'Phayus's. In fact, she looks a lot like P'Phayu although Rain is convinced, she has his eyes and mouth. She is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

"What's her name?" His mother asks them.

P'Phayu looks at Rain who nods back.

"We would like to name her Anya." P'Phayu tells her. She looks like she might cry at this, Anna is her mother's name. Rain's grandmother. Anya is derived from that. They had wanted to honor Rain's family while at the same time giving their daughter her own unique name.

Rain starts to feel his eyes drift closed. It's been a long day. As if sensing this P'Phayu takes Anya and puts her in the bassinet they have set up next to the nest. P'Phayu has scented it well so the baby will be comforted while she sleeps.

"Little angel." Rain murmurs as he falls asleep.

Rain feels like he has made the downstairs circuit between the living room and the kitchen a million times. His legs actually hurt and Anya just won't stop crying. She doesn't want her bottle; she has a clean diaper on. She screams louder if he stops walking or tries to put her down.

"Please go to sleep." Rain begs, "Please, please, please. I will give you anything." He is ready to sit down in the middle of the floor and match her crying when the front door opens.

Rain feels a sense of relief when P'Phayu lifts Anya from his arms. He goes and sinks gratefully down on the sofa. His relief turns to bewilderment and a little hurt when Anya stops crying and falls asleep within minutes.

"Our baby hates me," Rain says when P'Phayu comes back from putting her in the bassinet. "That's the only explanation."

P'Phayu smiles and puts an arm around his shoulder, "She doesn't hate you."

Rain suddenly realizes that if P'Phayu is home from school it must be getting late. Rain looks around and sees the bottle he had tried to get Anya to take still on the counter, it will have to be poured out now since he didn't put it away. There are toys that he had tried to use to draw her attention everywhere and the dirty burp cloth is draped over the kitchen chair.

Rain had meant clean today and he had intended to have dinner ready to celebrate his husband's first day of a new semester.

"I'm sorry," Rain says.

"For what, sweet boy?" P'Phayu asks.

"I didn't fix dinner or clean or anything." Rain says sadly.

"You took care of Anya, it's enough. You look exhausted, just sit here and I'll make dinner." P'Phayu gives him a kiss on the cheek. While he cooks dinner, he dumps the bottle and washes it, then picks up a little.

Rain is exhausted, but he also feels guilty. P'Phayu has been studying hard all day, he should be able to come home to dinner and a clean house.

It becomes their routine. Some days he can get Anya to nap. On those days he tries to cook dinner or clean a little no matter how exhausted he is. Other days she just refuses to sleep for him. On those days, P'Phayu comes home from school or the garage and takes over.

Rain feels like he is failing at being a parent. No matter how many times he watches his mother fold the perfect diaper on Anya, Rain can never seem to follow her example. The baby squirms and kicks until Rain is terrified, he will scratch her with the safety pin and his diapers barely stay on. She cries for him and sleeps for P'Phayu. She doesn't like it when Rain gives her baths even if he makes her bath exactly like his mama or Phayu showed him, he is always careful of the temperature. Sometimes she won't even eat if he is the one holding the bottle.