𝔄𝔤𝔬𝔫𝔶 (Hwang Hyunjin Centric)

ℌ𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰

(Hyunjin's POV)

ℑ went and sit down on the couch next to Chan, my legs felt weak, so I used the wall for support, but in a way the others wouldn't notice. I liked this feeling It's been so long since I'e felt real happiness, I wish I could feel like this forever!

If only happiness last forever . . .

I smiled, and chatted, actually being able to enjoy a conversations with my friends. Sadly it only lasted for a short amount of time, if only Changbin didn't offer me something to eat...

"Hey Hyunjin, we ordered some pizza, take a slice, your so thin, you need to eat something."

Thin? How could he call me thin? I weigh to much as it is, and he wants me to eat something like pizza?! I'm four over what I need to be, and here he is trying to get me to eat.

I felt my stomach turn at the smell of the sauce, I covered my mouth and Changbin stepped away from me. I could tell he felt bad from the luck on his face, not like he knew that I was over my personal weight, or that the smell of pizza would make me feel sick, hell I didn't know it would.

I tried to get up to go to the bathroom, but my damn legs failed me when I stood up, causing my body to harshly collide with the hardwood flooring.

And for once I thought I might be happy. It couldn't even last more then 10 minutes, and now I feel like crumbling down in tears, but I can't cry in front, at least I'm not nauseous anymore.

But everyone was staring at me, the combination of all there voices asking me if I was okay, or asking if I got hurt. I hated pity, almost as much as I hated myself for letting myself feel happy for a moment, for letting myself get close to them again.

This is why I distant myself from them, so I don't have to make them worry about me.
I struggled to get up, telling them I'm fine, even tho I wasn't sure I was. 

I stumble off to my room and mumbled some incoherent words, shut my door, and flop on my bed. Holy hell, why did I think everything was going to be fine? Happiness is a fucking lie, a lie which doesn't actually fucking exist.

I saw there sad, pity looks as I walked away. They would be so much better if I was never here in the first place, and I know it.

You should just die . . .

But I don't want to . . . 

Everyone would be happier . . .

Would they tho?

They might be sad at first, but thrust me, it would be for the better if you just,
.
.
.
Jumped.

There I was standing in my window, not even sure how I got here, but here I was. Maybe I should just, let myself go . . . .

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(Lee Know's POV)

I could tell Hyunjin was in pain, they way he feel, they way he stumbled to get up, Chan had just say seated with a look of failure on his face. I was the only one to walk after Hyunjin after hearing him say a small 'sorry', I wanted him to know he had nothing to apologize for.

I open his door for my life to flash before my eyes.

I ran to the Hyunjin's window to quickly pull him backwards to keep him from jumping out. With all my force being used to pull him backward I fell onto his bed with his small amount of weight quickly following behind.

"What the hell Hyunjin?! Are you Crazy!! Are could have di-e....d..." I stopped myself from yelling when I suddenly felt his thin arms wrap themselfs around my waste, and his head shoved into my chest, the sounds of his crys were loud and sad, full of pain.

"I'm so sorry!! I-I didn't want to!! REally!!" He cried, his sobs causing his words to slur together.

"Shhhh, just breath..." I ran my figures through his hair trying to sooth him, I could do nothing but hold him and speak quickly as he cried in my arms. 

I wanted him to talk to me, but ever time he tried it was nothing more then just a stutter, mumbled mess of words all muffled and colliding together. I just sat on his bed holding him as his cry's slowly slowed down, soon he became quiet and his soft breath was calm yet again, he had fallen asleep, he looked so peaceful just laying here, on me.

I heard footsteps outside the door, and the sudden squeak sound -which almost woke Hyunjin up- I saw Bang Chan standing in the doorway.

"Lee kno-..." Chan cut myself off when I brought one figure up to my lips, in a gesture of shushing him without actually making a sound I didn't Chan to wake Hyunjin.

Chan quietly came and sit next to me, he could see dried tears on Hyunjin's face, and the window open, after he slowly ran his fingers through Hyunjin's hair his eyes meet back with mine, I wasn't sure if he had put the pieces together or not but I didn't want to talk in fear I may wake him.

I picked up my phone and I texted Chan the information, I could tell when he read the message he had not pieced the puzzle together and looked like he was about scream. But stopped himself due to the sleeping boy in my lap.

I tried to hold back tears as Hyunjin slightly cried in his sleep, I tried my best to sooth him, but I've never dealt with something like this, let alone with my best friends life at stake. I couldn't help but feel guilty for not noticing it sooner.

I could have helped him better, helped him feel safe, helped him feel love, helped him feel like his worth life.

And what did I do instead?

I got on to him, questioned him angrily for his actions instead of noticing the pain he was in.

I felt like the worlds shitty person alive in this moment, I felt my own face slowly becoming wet, and Bang Chan's hand slowly lifted to my face wiping away my tears and slowly moving my head onto his shoulder, and gently running his fingers through my hair, along as doing the same to the sleeping Hyunjin.

These next few weeks were going to be rough and I already new it.

(A/N: Sorry for this chapter being so short, I'll try and make sure the next one is as long as my normal chapters plus a bit longer to make up for this chapter lacking about 100 words compared to the pasted two chapters.)