Falling for Her Boss Again

32. Running

Larry

"Gemma, no...why are you saying all of these?" My voice cracked when I heard her words. Yes, she's telling me that we're done. That I should go be with Alix.

What the fuck?

"Larry, it's for the best."

"Fuck no, I love you. And you're not making your decision for us. I have a fucking say in this!"

"But you don't love me enough to end your arrangement." Her voice was soft, it's like she's giving up on us. Fuck...even I know I'm such a fuck up. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe she should be with someone else worthy of her love.

"Baby, it's complicated."

I can hear her sobbing from the other line and she just tears my heart a new one. It's like she's ripping my insides, flesh by flesh when I'm already such a mess underneath.

"No, it's not, Larry. No, it's not. I'm going to be okay."

"Gemma, don't do this, baby..."

She cries faintly from the other line and I can hear her struggling to calm down. "Just know that I love you, Larry. Thank you for being my first. Thank you for giving me everything."

"Gemma, fuck, baby don't..." Hang up on me.

I cursed and slammed my hand on the nearest wall when she ended the call. I am frustrated with myself. I don't understand how it's so difficult just to walk away from everything and go to Gemma.

Because you know you're going to fuck up, Larry.

My inner thoughts swarm my head with self-doubt. Yes, I may appear to be strong on the outside but in actuality, I am as fragile as the middle child with insecurities wanting to be better than his brothers, wanting to make my parents proud.

Growing up, Dale my oldest brother had been an example of perfection academically. Then there's Tyler who's always at Dad's side making him proud. Our youngest brother, Ralph was another perfection. I envy how he just doesn't give a flying fuck about pleasing our parents. Then there's me. The middle child with insecurities. Always wanted to please my parents though I knew it was going to be Dale and Tyler. It's always my older brothers who my parents put on the pedestal. Nope, never been me. I tried to be the big brother for Ralph but that kid just didn't have a care in the world.

But now...now all of my brothers have married their chosen wife. Even Ralph. All of them defy our parents. And now my pathetic little brain tells me that this is the perfect time to finally make my parents proud of me. Or maybe I'm just too fucked up in the head. Maybe I just want to please my parents, knowing I'm the only one who can. Or...I'm just such a coward for wanting what I really want.

My head hurts so I take two more pills for my headache before calling my driver and then calling the pilot. I tell him that I'll be at the Richardson private hangar where the company jet awaits in a couple of hours.

I put clothes and shoes in several bags then get my suits, resting them on the living room sofa where my driver is going to help me carry all the stuff down to the car. I snag my pills and then some potent pain pills my doctor had prescribed for my vertigo. I'll ask Tyler to check my place whenever he's available, but everything should be good I just need to inform the concierge downstairs and ask the maid to clean out the perishable food.

When we eventually reached the plane, I let the flight attendant help store my belongings while I got settled in for take-off. My body is moving on its own, I barely think, I just do. My mind is still numb from Gemma's words.

I put my seatbelt on and take another pill, wanting to sleep throughout the flight. I have no intention to open my eyes until I'm thousands of miles away from Gemma.