Dust & Gold

1 ⚠️

—*⛔️TRIGGER WARNING⛔️*—
Sensitive content is throughout this book. Content includess:

* Strong Language
* Sexual Content
* Violence
* blood and gore
* Abuse
* physical genetic condition called Congenital insensitivity (unable to feel physical pain).

~*Wei Wuxian*~

Ever since she found out about my condition, she used it to her advantage. Because of her, I go through countless amounts of abuse but I can't feel any of it. I was born with Congenital insensitivity which means I am unable to feel pain. When the madam of the sect found out, she started to experiment on me, to see how much my body could tolerate. No matter how much she did, I couldn't feel a thing, but I did feel fatigue and the blood loss. I know emotional pain but never physical. It was the only thing that I couldn't physically feel, was pain. I could feel touch, and warmth but if it was a hot branding iron, I could not feel the pain, though I could smell the burning flesh.

I made sure no one else knew, and I was also warned not to tell anyone else or she would find worse things to do to me. I go around Lotus Pier as if I am the most carefree and happiest person here, but inside I was not happy, and I didn't feel carefree. I felt trapped in this endless cycle of abuse and loneliness. I want to leave, I have to leave. I always say I will stay for Shijie, but one day, her mother might go too far with her "experimenting" and it could actually kill me. The healers have told me countless times that something has to happen or I might as well be dead. To be honest, I felt dead.

I had a plan. There was a guest lecture at the Gusu Lan Sect this year and it will be going for approximately six months or so. I think that would be my chance to mysteriously disappear. I am certain no one would look for me. No one cares to notice that I am suffering in silence. I may not be able to feel physical pain but I know if I could I would be a lot worse.

Today's session with the madam was the worst by far. She didn't use Zidian this time but she used a chain whip. The chain was doused in oil and she lit it on fire. I couldn't feel the pain of the hit but it still took a toll on me. I was kneeling in her discipline room and the whip hit me hard. Each hit made me feel winded, like the air was being sucked from my lungs. I was sweating and shaking and no matter what, she didn't stop. She doesn't stop until I nearly pass out. She forces me to walk out as if nothing happened. That was the session I endured before the trip to Gusu.

Jiang Cheng and I were going. He always seemed pissed off at the world and no matter what comes out of my mouth, he finds a way to curse at me and tell me to shut up. The entire trip, I was mostly silent. I could tell Jiang Cheng felt something was off but he didn't question me. He did say something though, "you do anything stupid, it goes back to the entire sect. You better behave or you'll lose us face...again!"

"You do not have to remind me, but if I remember correctly, it only happens because I take most of the blame for your stupidity," I countered.

"Watch it, Shixiong, you may be older but I rank over you as you are nothing but a servant to the family. You should be thankful you are allowed to come here," Jiang Cheng said.

"Whatever," I said and ignored him the rest of the way.

Servant, that's what I was considered. To Sect Leader Jiang, I was his head disciple but to everyone else, I was just a servant. I wish I knew how my father survived this sect. Did he have to succumb to this abuse too?

When we reached the gates of Cloud Recesses, Jiang Cheng took forever to find the invitation. While he scavenged his robes, I rolled my eyes and waited. As I waited, I heard someone approaching us from behind. When I turned around, I saw the most beautiful man I've ever laid my eyes on. I internally sighed as my plans may have to adjust for the sake of this man. Though he was beautiful, he seemed a bit stiff and rigid. This guy really had discipline. He was prominent and respectful from what I could also tell.

"Excuse me," the man said to me.

I blinked a couple times to register that he was talking to me specifically. I was confused for a moment before realizing I was in his path to enter, "oh, my apologies," I said and moved aside. I then turned to Jiang Cheng, "did you really lose it Jiang Cheng? You had one fucking job!"

"Hey, I have it here," he said as he finally found it.

I sighed and watched him hand it to the guard. We were soon able to pass. I was to spend six months in a room with Jiang Cheng. After a couple years living in Lotus Pier, I moved to my own room. Before that I roomed with Jiang Cheng when I first arrived. He hated me because of the whole, I fear dogs so he had to get rid of his, thing.

To avoid him, I just wandered the main courtyard of Cloud Recesses. I know this was definitely not a place to get in trouble but I had a feeling it was going to happen anyway. I heard about the most strict teacher here, which is Lan Qiren. He is known for producing successful cultivators, but I wondered just how strict he was.

As I noticed that this place had a curfew, I eventually made my way to my room. Jiang Cheng was there but I didn't say anything to him. It was best this way. Avoiding conversations with him was probably best. After all, it only results in arguing in the end anyway.

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I sat on this idea for a while but hesitated as it could be a sensitive book in terms of content, I will do what I can to make sure it's not too heavy on that though. I do hope the book goes well, and thanks for taking the time to read it. :)