Afterlife: Reincarnation

12

May 26

HARRY

I scurried around my living room, picking up random papers, gathering the dishes I had left on the table from the night before, and fluffing the pillows on the couch. For the love of fuck, I actually fluffed the God damn pillows. That was when I knew I was losing my mind. When I actually picked up the little red pillow I had sitting on the corner of my couch, and fluffed the bloody thing.

Why the hell would she even care if my pillows were fluffed? She wouldn't even see them. The only way she would know was if I picked up the stupid thing, put it in front of the webcam, and said 'look how fluffy my pillow is! I fluffed it just for you!'

I loathed myself.

It was just before ten on Saturday morning, and I was expecting to hear from Lane at any time. We had agreed the night before to try and Skype today, and that fact was all I had been able to think about all damn morning.

I had slept surprisingly well the night before, and I couldn't ignore the fact that my restfulness was mainly contributed to by the fact I had finally heard her voice. It had been over a week, and until I heard the smooth sound coming through the line, I hadn't realized just how much I had missed it. Of course I missed her. Her beautiful eyes, her infectious laugh, her incredible body. But I hadn't actually considered missing the little things. The sound of her voice, the way she would bite her lip when she didn't want to talk about something, or the way she would glare at me when I pissed her off. I missed all of her.

Waking much earlier than I usually would on a weekend, I laid in bed staring at the ceiling for a long while. My mind was busy, a contrast to my calm body. Well, somewhat calm body.

I couldn't ignore how much more bold we both seemed to be with each other since she left. She was more open, more direct with me. While I seemed to be more honest and affectionate towards her. I hadn't even realized I was calling her baby the night before, but it made me feel light and elated that she liked it. I had full intentions on calling her it more often, and hopefully more things in the time to come.

Maybe this distance between us wasn't so insurmountable. The thought of her being so far, for so long, had seemed so daunting at the time. Beyond my fear of her being in such a volatile place, I hated the idea of the distance between us. I wasn't ready to be away from her, even if I hadn't gotten the balls up to tell her how I felt about her. She was still mine, everything I wanted, and I didn't want to lose her.

But this distance seemed to have the opposite effect I feared. If anything, we seemed a little closer. At least, in terms of our feelings for each other. Neither of us had admitted anything, yet, and as much as I hated the idea of telling her how I felt over the phone or bloody Skype, it wasn't an idea I dismissed completely. Six months was a long time, and I knew I couldn't string her along forever without telling her how I felt.

Not that she was likely to meet anyone over there. She was working, in the middle of nowhere. In reality, I felt rather confident that there was nothing to worry about in terms of someone coming along and stealing her away. But I knew I couldn't give her nothing for the next six months, regardless. She needed to know she was coming back to something, to someone.

My mind wandered over to thoughts of her homecoming. Of course, she would go back to New York, and I would take time off to go and meet her. I pictured waiting at the airport, watching as her flight landed, waiting for the moment I would see her again. When she appeared, I could almost feel the weight lifting from my chest as the image flickered through my imagination. I would step up to her, bowling over anyone in my way, and grab her, kissing her with the pent up longing of six long fucking months apart. I wouldn't even say anything. I would just kiss her, and hold her, before taking her hand and bringing her home.